Whole Lotta Whopper by Debt Star
Posted by Debt Star | Blog, Reader Submissions | Posted on June 16th, 2009
‒Wanna tell you a story
about this bar girl I know.
When it comes to lovin’
Ooh, she steals the show.
She aint exactly pretty.
She aint exactly small.
But you get your money’s worth
When she bends over in a shower stall!”
On Sukhumvit Road, in Washington Square, there is a bar called the Texas Lone Staar Saloon. A lady works there as chief cook and bottle washer. I say ‒works” because I have been gone a fair while and cannot confirm if she is still there. This lady gave me one of the most unique sexual experiences I have ever had. She was friendly, eager, and VERY enthusiastic about sex.
And she was fat.
Check that, she wasn’t just fat. She mastered fat! She OWNED fat! She made fat work!
It all started late one morning between jobs. I had just gotten off a contract on a Pacific Island garrison and was waiting for my next contract company to pick me up and ship me off to… somewhere. I spent the interim cruising around town on foot, staying in touch with the outside world via the internet cafes, and generally being a cheap charlie and balloon chaser on the night entertainment scene. Since most cafes charged you by the hour, I was always on the lookout for bars with free computer terminals that I could hog to rewrite my resume and compose letters to friends and family. The Lone Staar had such a terminal, and I could be found on it many days of the week banging away at the keyboard and sucking down Mekong Cokes as fast as the bartender could bring them to me.
That particular morning, I stumbled up the road from the short time hotel that was my current mansion and world headquarters, nursing a hangover from the night before. I got to the Lone Staar around 11-ish, got the cheap lunch that George P always laid on for his customers, and was making some notes for my latest resume rewrite at the bar, when I saw her.
She was bringing out a plate of food from the kitchen to a customer across the bar from me, so the first glance I had of her was in profile. Thus, there was no hiding what she looked like. Something about her simply stunned me. Yes, she was huge. But she also had a quick, active pace about her. She had a very pretty smile, a spunky attitude, and carried herself well. This lady, let’s call her ‘Whopper’, simply stunned me on my barstool. I had never been attracted to fat girls before, but for some reason her body just called to me. Hell, it roared at me like a drill sergeant on a parade ground!
I went back to eating my 60-Baht lunch and doodling on my notepad, but I just couldn’t concentrate on my work. My mind kept going back to that first glance of her. After another half-hour of pointless doodling and false starts on my notes, while the lunchtime crowd cleared out, I put aside my notes.
Hesitantly clearing my throat, I called the bartender over to me.
‒What you want”, she asked.
‒I want to buy a drink for the, uh, big girl”, I said.
‒Huh? What you mean”, she asked.
‒The fat lady, the one that works in the kitchen.”
‒What you mean fat! All ladies here number one beautiful boom-boom”, she snapped, visibly agitated.
‒He means ‘Whopper’! Get her a lady drink and make it snappy, damnit”, roared George P from across the bar.
Next commenced the oral equivalent of a full on barroom brawl. The bartender was known to be a tough Thai lady, but George was old enough to have been around and not put up with guff from anyone. The upshot was that, after the fireworks died down, a suitably expensive drink of some sort was duly dispatched in the general direction of the kitchen.
After a short wait, hundreds of pounds worth of dream woman came through the kitchen door and into the bar, heading straight for me. I was actually feeling somewhat nervous about meeting her, even though by then I was an experienced, seasoned punter. I told myself to snap out of it, that I was just going to chat with the lady, nothing more. Yeah, that’s the ticket, I’ll just engage her in some light conversation with no strings attached. I am not looking for a GFE. I’ll be adamant about it! I will not cave in to any…
‒Hey, hansum man. You OK? I ask, I can sit down?”
Belatedly realizing that she had been talking to me for a good minute, I invited her to have a seat next to me. It turned out that ‘Whopper’ had been working there for some time but had never been barfined (or so she claimed). She was a single mom of one, and got the job to make ends meet, although how ends could meet around her waist size I’ll never know.
In any event, several drinks and some boring conversation later she adjourned to the kitchen to continue working and I went to the terminal to commence my assault on the Mekong bottle. Another hour into it and I realized it was no use. I couldn’t concentrate on the stuff I was typing up, and the whiskey wasn’t helping matters. I made up my mind there and then that I HAD to have her. I sheepishly looked around to see what kind of an audience I was about to attract; there were hardly any customers in the place. George looked like he was dozing. The angry bartender was watching Thai soaps. The time to barfine Whopper was now.
‒Umm, excuse me miss”, I began nervously. ‒Can you bring ‘Whopper’ back out here? I’d, uh, like to buy her another…”
‒WHOPPER! YOU BOYFRIEND WANTS BUY YOU ANOTHER DRINKEE”, roared the bartender.
‘Whopper’ came barreling out of the kitchen like a Bengal Tiger at a butcher’s trade show. She finished her drink, and then came the moment of truth.
‒Uh…”, I began.
‒You want to go upstairs Telac”, ‘Whopper’ asked with a beatific smile.
‒OK.”
They say that sex with fat girls is like riding a moped: they’re fun to ride until people see you with one. The upstairs rooms were reached from a stairwell outside the bar, so we had to go out onto the street and then back inside to go upstairs. Outside were the usual group of Thai construction workers, motorcycle taxis waiting for fares, bar and massage parlor girls touting their respective establishments, and a lone expat waddling his way up the lane. Every one of them took one look at us and knew. And stared. The relief I felt upon entering the stairwell and out of their site was from more than leaving Bangkok’s torpid heat behind.
For the sake of The Mango reader’s stomachs, I will not go into detail about riding on her massive stomach. Suffice to say that, A) it felt like she hadn’t had any in a long time and, 2) She liked it from behind very much, especially in the shower.
For the rest of the interim period I spent in Bangkok, she became a regular GFE. She wasn’t the only girl I spent time with, and I have no idea whether she kept true to me (not that her having other customers or boyfriends would’ve bothered me). I also had no idea why she had such a devastating effect on me. All I know is that for a brief moment in my life, I braved a GFE with the biggest Bangkok bar gal anyone had ever seen.
22 Responses to “Whole Lotta Whopper by Debt Star”
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Recent Comments
Translator
He he…..
Oh what a corker,
you straddled a porker
View all comments by doctorbond
Lemme see…nubile, hardbody Asian nymphs who can suck the chrome off of a bumper for TB 1500 bumping all around bkk day and night, and…
View all comments by PB
Had me a similar lady at another bar soi 22. Fantastic experience, very GFE and totally unexepected as I usually like them petite and spinnable.
Fat is ok as long as the lady had good personal hygiene and the enthusiasm if you click makes for a better experience than from some jaded go go type from the plaza or cowboy who has been spoilt rotten.
The sum of it is that most of these ladies have had kids, need to support them and therefore usually try harder to please and that can’t be a bad thing, beneficial to all involved.
View all comments by ao nang
……also less mileage compared to a go go girl and therefore relatively safer sex. This girls made it into my portfolio anyway and its a nice change to have someone with big ones. Only the taxi driver and the security guard to smirk at me now!
View all comments by ao nang
Well, this is very interesting!
Is this fiction of fact?
Because if ‘Fact’ – don’t waste your time ‘spinning a yarn’!
“George P” did NOT holler anything across the bar!
George Picas (George P.) has been dead for about 10 – 12 months – I saw him in the hospital (Ramkhamhaeng) about 1 week before he died!
I have been going to the Texan for about 14 years – why did you not offer some other background characters (and I can name 50 at least) that have been here a LONG time!
You want me to remind you the name of the girl that was ‘slinging’ the food – if so – let me know!
I should have Mekong Curt come ‘bitch slap’ you …..
What a bunch of fucking shit!
View all comments by JDH
On this — yes I am on a RANT —
George P. was a GOOD guy!
He lived here about 50 years – I shit you not!
A Cleveland, OH native…..
He came to Asia – if I remember correctly 59 or 60 ?
Made all of his $’s during the Vietnam War (sold booze and cigs to US Army Commissaries) – used to have a bar down in Patpong 1 – really popular joint – and notorious!
He moved his bar to Washington Square and renamed years ago –
The Texan has always been open to ANYONE – you name it
(law enforcement, criminals, artists, oil riggers, writers, )
- and it was in the there – from everywhere …
You left you B.S. at the door – cause it was not tolerated there!
He helped A LOT OF PEOPLE in his life ….
Still – to this – day – free lunch Saturday at 2:00 in the afternoon – as long as you buy 1 beer!
He was CHARACTER —
Last time I saw him – he said forget about Thai women – they are not the same that they used to be – just work and make money – with 2 Thai nurses combing his hair and massaging his neck in his hospital room!
Too bad – some of the other farang bar owners cannot adopt just a small fragment of his hospitality!
View all comments by JDH
@ JDH – is it not possible that Debt Star is recounting a story that goes back more than 12 months?
View all comments by doctorbond
Could be —-
View all comments by JDH
It must be old – cause in the last 4 years – George was RARELY, RARELY, RARELY if ever in the bar —
Spent to much time on a dialysis machine at Ram or at home in BKK —
By the way – the food slingers name is Baby Doll – for a reason!
View all comments by JDH
Whatever works for you man! Reminds me of some sage advice PMMP gave me once. I commented to him how on a couple of occasions to Lolitas I didn’t see any real lookers. To which he replied, ‘you’re not really there for their looks’. And my next trip I followed his advice and pulled the chunky girl for a trip upstairs, not my typical choice to be sure, but what the hell, thought I’d follow PMMP’s advice. Well, she was a champ, and became my regular afternoon pull at Lolitas for the remainder of my vacation.
She’s a chunky one, and has a tatt of a dragon behind her one of her ears plus a couple of other tatts, if she’s still there I’d say give her a try. Hope she’s there next time I get back.
View all comments by Quagmire
@ JDH: “I say “works” because I have been gone a fair while and cannot confirm if she is still there.”
3rd sentence.
View all comments by bkk22
In the immortal words of Freddy Mercury..
“Hey I was just a skinny lad
Never knew no good from bad
But I knew life before I left my nursery
Left alone with big fat fanny
She was such a naughty nanny
Heap big woman you made a bad boy out of me
Hey hey!”
Or..as my roomate in university used to be fond of saying..
“Every once in a while..you gotta go hoggin’..fat chicks need love too”
View all comments by Indu WangZi
@Quags: You took that advice? Glad it worked out. I was really just trying to keep you away from the hot one’s
@Debt Star: Whopper just became part of my own personal urban dictionary. Last time I had a Whopper, not counting a chubby soccer mom type at a soi 6 bar in Pattaya, was in the US. She was more of a Double Whopper w Bacon and Cheese though that was left out in the sun for about six hours. Alcohol was involved but that probably goes without saying.
View all comments by pmmp
You say she was fat…… how many Kilos we talking here?
You said a few hundred pounds, but on a small thai woman thats hard to believe, a bit of creative licence perhaps?
View all comments by Young Penfold
There are some strange pervs with weird kinks living in this city.
View all comments by Poodle
Had a 40+ lady give me a massage Soi 4 about 18 months ago. Took me behind the curtain and gave me HJ to finish without asking. I did not complain and offered a tip. She refused but asked if she could stay with me when she knocked off at 11pm. I thought “NOOOOO” but said ok, just 1 night cause tomorrow i fly out for a month. Let me tell you she was fantastic.Took it in all holes, i just kept swapping. We have bumped uglies, or should I say stomachs, several times since. Still luv the stunners tho.
View all comments by whisperingoldman
Fat chicks are like riding a scooter. Great fun till your mates see you on one.
View all comments by Wombat
Poodle, have you been to the southern part of the US or Iowa where bib overalls are mandatory for all 18 year olds, or for that matter the whole of the UK lately? the spandex capitals. Places are crawling with more sweat hogs than the law allows and most of them being followed around by some skinny runt.It’s enough to put you off your food.
View all comments by THE MAN
JDH – “I should have Mekong Curt come ‘bitch slap’ you”
I thought it was Mekong Kurt.
The largest Thai girl I went with (from Pattaya beer bar) told me (she volunteered, I didn’t ask) she was 82 kilos . . . but she had every gram moving.
About a year later, I ran into her in the Bamboo Bar on Soi 3, and she looked even larger. She did find her target clientele though.
View all comments by DJ
I banged a fat chick in Singapore once. Met online, and when she showed up at my hotel, turned out to be quite large. But I figured, what the hell, she’s here. She gave indescribably good head then happily took it up the old dirt road. Sort of a bizarre experience.
View all comments by 2muchfun
@all – thanks for the feedback, I appreciate it.
@most – thanks for sticking up for me in my absence when my honesty was called into question.
@jdh – I couldn’t help but notice that all your comments on this thread were dated the same day, June 17th. I’m going to assume that you were having a really crappy day and decided to take it out on me for the GFE with a ‘Whopper’ in the land of stunners. I’m guessing that if we ever met and I bought you a drink or two at the Mango, we might be fast friends. If not, it is just as well I am up here at this terminal and not near you.
Oh, and speaking of which, Mekong Kurt would never bitch slap me. I happen to know, from times spent with him over beers, that he is an old Texas Lawman. A lawmen wouldn’t bitchslap me, a lawmen would knock me upside the head with a truncheon and taze the hell out of me while I was lying on the ground struggling! Here’s to not being beaten or tazed before you can finish your drink…;-)
View all comments by Debt Star
hey
i have been at thai few years.
and i have fuck many girls.
but never ever fuck with fat thai girl.
but once i have very good fuck when i meet one yang finis girl.
she was pretty and she was about 22-25 year, she was at thailand with some friend.
i see her at bar, she have long blondhair and very big tits, she´s face was very nice but she was fat and realy short about 150cm but i think she was 80-90kg.
i know one bartender and i have party at night.
and i ask if he could bring that fatgirl to my place.
he know that fat girl´s friend and they come to my place.
i talk with that fatgirl.
she was drunk at night when i drive she to she´s hotel.
we wen´t there and suddenly she strip all off and go to pool.
wou those big tits.i take my all off and go to sitting side and she come to me and take my dick in mouth, then i go in pool and fuck hard she dosen´t ask any condoms and nothing but wou.
then we go to she´s room and fuck rest of night.
i don´t even understand she´s talking she have very bad english.
but fuck was good.
finish fat girl´s could like over 50years man´s i don´t no but she like´s me.i was 57 at 2006 now i am 60
and that was free fuck.
thank to jenni
View all comments by oldmanfromnorth