Confessions of a 20 year old sex tourist – Part 3 by Hansum Boy
Posted by Hansum Boy | Blog, Reader Submissions | Posted on June 15th, 2009
First of all I apologize on the lateness of this final entry to my story. I never got around to do it. It wasn’t until a couple of days ago that an MSN conversation with an ‒old friend” I hadn´t heard from in over a year inspired me to finish this article, I´ll let you guess who that was…
I´ve had a lot of bad hangovers in my life, but suffering from one in a crowded bus blasting annoying Thai folk-songs at ridiculous volume has to be right up there with the worst. The bus drive was long and hard but it was all worth it when I got back the the island I loved so much to be greated by the 5´2 bargirl I loved even more. I worried about her finding out what I had done in Hat Yai, could she smell the woman I spent the night before on me? Well, she didn´t. Looked like I had got away with it this time. I had something to look forward to, 3 of my friends (2 guys and a girl I knew from school) were coming to visit me on the island. They were traveling across the world and had just come from China, their plan was to stop for 10 days on the island and party with me. I´ll fast forward to the part where they arrived. I´ve read a lot of funny stories about people bringing ‒newbies” to Thailand and their troubles in their first night in LOS. But I can guarantee you that few top what I have to tell.
I believe it was around 7 PM when I greeted my friends at the airport. We took a Taxi to the hotel and I got each of them a bungalow. They had clearly been drinking on the flight and it didnt take them long to want to go out and see the nightlife. As I recall, it was some sort of a Buddhist day so all the bars and clubs were closed until midnight. So we decided to buy alcohol in 7/11 and head out to the beach. It was a great night, we sat there drinking and talking for hours. Just after midnight a nearby club finally opened and I dragged them in there. Now, one of these friends of mine is a big guy, tall and a bit chubby and he was the one that seemed to be affected the most of us by the alcohol. As he started sipping down the drinks inside the club and dancing on tables with the girls I got a little worried. Not long after I saw him climb up the second floor of the club, which was always closed during night time. I jumped up and caught sight of him and yelled at him to come down. No, he said and instead he climbed all the way up to the top of the roof and disappeared from sight. I sat down and hoped for the best.
A couple of minutes later he comes back in the club, with bloodied knees and elbows. I asked him what the hell happened but before I could finish the sentence a crazed 7/11 worker came yelling and shortly after the police arrived. I tried to make sense of what happened but it wasnt until they showed me inside the store that I realised. There was a hole in the roof of the store and a shelf of snacks was busted up right under. He had clearly fallen down the roof and ended inside the store. As I stood there I had a hard time not bursting out laughing, but managed to talk the cops into burying the whole matter for 5.000 Baht, they received the money with a smile on their face. The only person there that didn´t seem to amuzed was an elderly Thai woman who stood there still in shock of what she had just seen. The day after we had breakfast and all of the sudden all of us started laughing ridiculously. We must have laughed for 20 minutes, everyone around us looked at us like we were nuts. It was the thought of an innocent old thai woman doing her shopping for the night then suddenly seeing a 200 pound farang drop through the roof that really got us. To this day I still laugh at this thought.
I always tried my best to hide to my friends that Eis was a bargirl. They really knew nothing about how things worked over there, didn´t even understand at first why so many girls worked in all these small bars. But they´re no idiots and I´m sure they figured out eventually that she used to be one of them. We all had a lot of fun though, went to the full moon party, did elephant trecking, I introduced them to a lot of the magics of Thailand. They stayed on the island for 10 days, then it was time for goodbyes. I was back to being by my self on the other side of the world living with a prostitute. I had around one month left of my stay.
We got the idea to make the second trip to her home in Isaarn. Really dont know how I got duped into doing this. It was the same routine as before. Her dad not even looking at me, her young niece following me around like a shadow, me buying drinks for half the village…it was a really boring place and I wanted back to Samui as soon as possible. 2 days later we went back to the island and before I knew it I was on my last week of the stay. Of course, this was a very emotional time. For both of us. I had taken a hefty overdraft, stayed way longer than I first planned so I had no idea when I could return. It had to be 7 months at a minimum. I´m not gonna repeat to the same sob story as in the first part of my story. You know how it goes. ‒please come back Thailand, me wait you, me good girl for you” all that bullshit. She even had me sign her up for hairdressing school. She was going to study there, of course all paid by me and in a few months she could start working at a beauty saloon. Being the absolute fool I was, I bought it all and happily paid the last of my money for this. Before I knew it I was back home. Back into the same depressing routine as before, only this time it was even worse.
I suppose you are all waiting for the good part now, eh? How did this all come crumbling down? How was it that I found out she had been lying to me this whole time? Well, it wasn´t complicated at all. I knew of this dating site she used, she had shown it to me when we were together at first. I checked on it regulary to see if she ever used it, also checked her email, even considered hiring a private detective to spy on her. One day though, the answer came right to me. I opened up her dating ad and guess what? There were new pictures of her up in skimpy outfits taken at the bar, she was back in business alright. I confronted her on this and of course she denied it all. ‒Me do this for fun, me go bar for fun but not go with men”. I fooled myself into believing this, but deep inside I didn´t. I really needed 100% concrete proof to settle this once and for all. I noticed there was a new Email address signed on her page, something she hadn´t had before. Busting her was real simple. I created my own address, using some fake English name. I sent her a message telling her how she was doing, I had been with her a while ago, asked if she was still working at the same bar. Not long after I got the reply. ‒yesss xxxxx hello honey, sorry me no remember name you when i stay with you???? Yes me work same bar come see me pleese misss uuuuu xxxxxxx”
Some shit like that. There it was, my proof. I didn´t even call it off right there, it took like a month of arguments until we finally stopped talking. I was absolutely heartbroken for months. I got an SMS message when we hadn´t talked for a few months, she was asking if I was OK. I said sure, how about you? That was it. The last time we communicated through phone. Took me a couple of more months to get over her and when I finally did I was ecstatic. I started seeing this whole mess in a new light and laughed at the idiocy of the old me. Just around a week ago I finally got complete closure to this matter. Out of nowhere Eis signs into her MSN and starts talking to me? How am I supposed to react? Really didn´t know at the time. I just kept it on a polite level. Asking her how she was doing and where she was. She said she was in Pattaya, working a normal job. I laughed out loud and decided to just let her think she could make that lie to me. The part about her being in Pattaya I believe, the latter…not so much.
Sometimes the thought of Thailand again goes through my mind. I know this is something I will do sooner or later. It will be incredible. And I fantasize about how I will spend my first days there. Will I try to track down familiar friends? Probably, I´m sure I´ll visit that old bar she used to work in. But will I purposely try to track HER down? And what would happen if I met her again? I don´t think there would be any anger on my part. Its all in the past. I would sit next to her, have some drinks. Ask her what she has been up to. I´m sure most of it would be lies, but I don´t think I would even bother confronting her on any of them. At the end of the night she would probably expect me to barfine her and take her to my room. But I wouldn´t, I would simply stand up and walk away.
I can´t be angry at you honey, because you may have won the battle between us…but in the end, I am still the winner. Because I can go freely around the world, while you are still stuck here. For that reason I can´t help feeling sorry for you. Maybe one day you´ll get out, maybe you won´t. Either way I wish you all the best. Thats none of my business though. You are no longer my business. Theres plenty of fish in the sea…and this time I am the one that steers the boat.
Xxxxxx love u miss u sooo muts,
Forever your tilak ☺
30 Responses to “Confessions of a 20 year old sex tourist – Part 3 by Hansum Boy”
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Translator
Nice story HM – Three cheers for your innocence
You have a long way to go until you are an addled old cynic like me – I wish you well in your decline over the next few decades – I’m only a few years away from scowling at anyone that wishes me Good Morning
View all comments by doctorbond
Not sure I really understand your angle. If Paris Hilton came to your country and told you to quit your job, and wait for 7 months for her to perhaps return to you, would you really do it? So why don’t you try to put yourself in this girl’s shoes? At the same time your smugness (‘Im the winner, I can travel, you’re stuck’) is a very wrong, borderline insufferable, attitude. If anything, you should show some compassion not this type of last resort superiority complex; if you are doing so much better than her and fly in such heavenly circles, why did you ever bother with her? Since I assume you are a normal human being, I will choose to believe that the fact that you were hurt by this girl (by your own naiveness and lack of understanding of her situation in the first place) got the best of you and led you to this petty verbal revenge.
View all comments by Julian
Maybe it’s better to just not expect fidelity when you’re not there. You wrote about how you hoped your girl didn’t smell the scent of another woman on you so you’re doing exactly the same.
View all comments by LMW
Hmmmmm….thai whore, money all gone, heartbroken farang…where have I heard this before??
Thanks for the story – well written and I do like the innocence of it all.
View all comments by WPD
Funny, but who paid for the roof and the snacks?
View all comments by Hanuman
Your last two paragraphs indicate that you still haven’t found full closure with her yet. You need to make a clean break. Stop contacting her, change your email address, change your cell phone number and whatever you do, don’t go back to Thailand thinking that it might be okay just to catch up with her to see how she’s doing. If you do, you’ll end up right back where you started from – mind games, emotional manipulation and your head being fucked with. You’re twenty years old, give it a miss my friend. There’s no good to be gained, it’ll be just like flogging a dead horse. Do yourself a favor and spend a bit of time in Bangkok and check out some of the decent night clubs that have hot bangkok babes in abundance. Once you’ve had a taste of them you’ll soon get over your ex. I can guarantee it.
View all comments by MEGA
Hmm.. who was it that said she’d be back working the bar?
“I Phukit Jan 25th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
Well written! Can’t wait for the crash landing. For the pool, I have dibs on catching her working in the bar again.”
OK, OK, I hear you, an illiterate 4 year old Antarctican Eskimo who has never left the igloo could have predicted how this one turned out.
But still, a great read, and always entertaining, even if I did have to re-read part 2 again.
View all comments by I Phukit
Probably when you are older and smarter you will look at bar girl relations in terms other than winning and losing.
Having said that, if you have put so much energy into how you will play out some future meeting with a bar girl, maybe you should not be crowing about winning anything at all.
Good luck for your future – harder work, no overdrafts, put some away and come back when you have time and money. It is a different place then – and more fun
View all comments by Professor
…….every farang that goes into that 7-11 from now on?!
We all pay with our reputations as foreign guests for the drunken antics of a few who go nuts here and dont know when they’ve had too much.
Similar case a few months ago when a Russian man (who else?) plunged to his death, difference is he was 30 feet or more up.
Nice write up and great to hear the point of view from a younger prospective, wonder if my experiences would have been similar if I had come to L.O.S at 20yrs instead of 30?
View all comments by ao nang
I told a hooker I loved her once, then she farted, then I cried.
All in all not a bad experience but I wouldn’t do it again.
View all comments by Jimmy Leg
Once did the same but after crying I recorded and sampled my partners fart, added echo and effects and sequenced it. Its now the backing to music tracks playing in most of Pattayas discos.
Back on subject Bar girls or any girls are all individuals and only personal experience will help you select the right one for a long term partner if thats what you want?
Time to discover her motives is a good thing but she will be learning the same thing about your motives too and testing you. Its a minefield.
View all comments by ao nang
Hansum man, all in all, how much money do you reckon she cost you? – if it works out at about 1000 baht a day – for the time you spent together, then i guess its fair enough.
View all comments by BangkokMilkshakes
“He had clearly fallen down the roof and ended inside the store”
man, here 4+ years and nothing good like this ever happens to me
View all comments by jack dawson
Innocence lost..innocent abroad…
take your pick..same story, time and time again. At least you didnt get totally taken advantage of..
At least you learned from this…it’s all about the $$. All the time..every time. Always remember that.
View all comments by Indu WangZi
Fell through the roof on to the shelves – walked back in with bloodied knees and elbows. Your buddies name was Warewolf right?
View all comments by riodon
Funny stuff and love to read the posts that remind me of my first trip s here.
View all comments by billybobbkk
The falling through the roof of a 7, I just don’t believe…
The rest is believable though.
View all comments by John Brown
Great story. Straight from the heart. Although I am disappointed by the ending. You should not harbor thoughts as to who is the winner. You have both gained and lost from the relationship.
I have had relationships with Thai women and I often think of these women and what has happened to them. I truly wish them the best. I know they all have good hearts and many good qualities. Its the hard life that makes them do many of the things we feel are unacceptable.
Thailand is a magical land where time can stand still if you simply grasp the moment.
View all comments by losworld
none of this bullshit would’ve happened if you had kept your pimphand strong. and always remember the hierarchy, “Pimps up, Hoes down”. hasn’t the great philosopher iceberg slim taught us anything!
View all comments by UnCochinoWetback
have exploring the world enjoy.we all done it and learn,t.now we believe we know it all but we don,t
View all comments by geoff
UCW – Sasha Grey, now Iceberg Slim, if it wasn’t for your liking for Margacheato, I’d say you had the most exquisite taste.
Hansum boy, you are too young to get sucked into life of getting your heart broken by prostitutes. Build a life for yourself in the West and acquire some stuff.
Yeah, you would probably be happier in Thailand, but don’t you want your mother to be proud of you?
Forget Thailand until you have a wife or steady girlfriend in Farangland you want to cheat on.
View all comments by milo
milo- margarito almost punched a guys ear off! how can you not like someone after that (unless it was your ear)?
View all comments by UnCochinoWetback
UnCochinoWetback is wise, “none of this bullshit would’ve happened if you had kept your pimphand strong. and always remember the hierarchy, “Pimps up, Hoes down”.
What more could possible be said?
View all comments by Quagmire
UCW – yeah, that would have been cool, but if you do it with gloves loaded with plaster of paris it kind of nullifies the glory. Perfectly acceptable for a pimp of course – like a whip fashioned out of a wire coathanger – but no place it for in the ring.
Quagmire – that’s the thing. Hansum boy can’t be up because at the end of the day he’s a john. A john is beneath a hoe in the food chain, since he pays the hoe the money she gives to her pimp; in which case its hoes down, johns downer.
View all comments by milo
If the thai birds listen and beleive the lies that WE tell them they would starve to death waiting for us at the airport.
Put it down to experiance, like the others say………the innocence of it all. I have a thai g/f, a freind of mine who was terminally ill married his thai girlfreind, my g/f had it in her head that i should do the same. I simply told her that if i lived in thailand i would, but i aint getting into sending you money cos your my wife syndrome, not a chance.
Was this your first time in thailand by any chance??
Nice story btw.
View all comments by ELVIS790
Milo,
I think you’re taking the “pimps” and “hoes” thing to literally. Many would consider all men to be “pimps” and all women to be “hoes” I would also think that the “john” would be higher in the caste system then the hoe. The hoe is a service provider, the john is a customer. I don’t really consider it a food chain.
But if you allow yourself to get played like “hansum boy” boy did by one of the hoes, well his pimping credentials or his “pimp card” could and should be revolked until such time as he strengthens his pimp hand.
View all comments by Quagmire
“At the same time your smugness (‘Im the winner, I can travel, you’re stuck’) is a very wrong, borderline insufferable, attitude. If anything, you should show some compassion not this type of last resort superiority complex; if you are doing so much better than her and fly in such heavenly circles, why did you ever bother with her? Since I assume you are a normal human being, I will choose to believe that the fact that you were hurt by this girl (by your own naiveness and lack of understanding of her situation in the first place) got the best of you and led you to this petty verbal revenge.”
Where exactly did I say I was better than her? And this isnt “petty verbal revenge”…I´m speaking from the heart…and I also said that I do wish her all the best in the end, did you miss that part?
The final paragraph was in a way meant to be a joke, something to sum up all the fucked up thoughts that I had in my head during our time together and after we broke up.
View all comments by Hansum Boy
Great story man, thanks for taking the time to post this. And I feel where you’re coming from. Been there before, but hopefully never again! It’s a great feeling after being heartbroke for several months when you suddenly realize you’re over it, and while you will always have a small place for her in your heart, your life has moved on, lessons learned.
Keep posting!
View all comments by HTWoodson
Been there done that with a BKK BG from Laos 18 years ago, i was like you an Hansum and young man , it took me many months to get over her and i will never forget her- but iam glad i didnt take the relationship a step further.
I finally made it back to LOS 5 years ago and have been a regular traveler since and met many more lovely ladies but i have a much harder skin now and my innocence is long gone, so i can never feel like i did back then. Looking back now i realaized i had the time of my life so cherish your memories, you will get great new ones but the first LOS love is forever.
View all comments by duffMaster69
Loved the story, all but the verbal revenge at the end. Luckily a Brit I met on the plane into BKK filled me in during a shared taxi down to Pattaya. Insane time with limited heartbreak. Addictive and tolerable for me in sessions lasting up to 4 weeks. As soon as I get home from one trip, I begin planning my next.
View all comments by tom