Black gold by On Nutter
Posted by On Nutter | Ban Chang, Blog, Reader Submissions, Trip Report | Posted on January 31st, 2009
If you want to get off The Reservation without the need for quality fabrics, pay your bin at the Big Mango Bar, turn right at the end of Soi 4 and follow Sukhumvit Road for 180 kilometres until you find yourself in a little-known playground of oil workers, golfers and retired expats.
Welcome to Ban Chang in Rayong province, where a seemingly sleepy town has a strip of bars that can sometimes rival those 45 kilometres away in Pattaya’s Soi 6 for unabashed sleaziness.
Coming from Pattaya, turn left at the first set of traffic lights in Ban Chang and after about 200 metres you will come to an area of about 25 bars, starting with The Camel pub and ending at Offshore Bar. The latter’s name is an indication of how this P4P area developed to service customers openly referred to as OFT (Oil Field Trash). The southern city of Songkhla has a similar area, known as The Dark Side, that grew from farangs mining black gold.
Exploring new bar areas always gives me a buzz. It is great to be a new face in town, just as you were all those years ago when you were dazzled by Nana’s neon and Cowboy’s dancing damsels. Ban Chang is nothing like those two areas but on two visits I had a lot of fun. It is similar to Pattaya’s Soi 6 in style and concept – short-time bars with lots of hands-on action – but the service providers are not as tattooed and scary as their Sin City sisters.
The similarities with Soi 6 are many. The action starts at about 1pm, most of the bars have upstairs short-time rooms and one grey note (700 baht for the girl, 300 for the bar) is the going rate for bumping uglies – literally so in many cases because, as in Soi 6, the quality on show is at the lower end of what the kingdom has to offer. But the girls are generally a friendly crew and, as ever, there are a few diamonds in the rough.
The bars have some inventive names, including The Where House and Cupids Stunts. As soon as you enter any of the bars, you are approached by a hostess eager to make contact, usually through a back massage. If she isn’t to your taste, just politely say ‒no, thank you” and she will disappear. If she does fit the bill, an 80-baht lady-drink is a contract for both parties to indulge in thorough body searches. The girls aren’t shy – one was totally naked apart from a pair of skimpy shorts as she attended to a customer at one bar. Beers are reasonably priced at 70-80 baht and there are enough ladyboys scattered around to keep Young Penfold occupied for an afternoon.
The Camel is a great place to stay. This English pub has nice rooms for only 600 baht a night, including a decent English breakfast. It has real English beer and Belgian premium beers such as Hoegaarden and Leffe for only 160 baht a pint. Its farang food is awesome: the 390-baht mixed grill has so much char-grilled meat that it looks like a road accident while its Sunday roast dinners (pork, beef or lamb) are the best I have had outside England.
Even though it captures the authentic feel of Olde England, The Camel also has short-time rooms and obliging hostesses mingling with customers. It also has some very cute waitresses dressed in school uniforms, though I don’t think they are for hire. My policy is to never dump on my doorstep, so I looked elsewhere for action, only to be afflicted by The Curse of the Thai Prophylactic. It was really a case of little and large, as I shall explain.
My first hostess offered me a condom so small that it looked like a rubber thimble. With a lot of straining and pulling, I managed to stretch it over unwilling Junior, whereupon all blood supply to my member was suspended. Intercourse duly began but I was in severe pain and had to withdraw. I whipped off the offending condom and asked if she had a bigger one. ‒Mai pen rai,” she replied. ‒No need.”
While I am pretty fastidious about taking no risks with prostitutes, the person who wrote The Guide to Safe Sex had obviously never been kneeling on a bed with a hard-on in front of a hot 21-year-old with her legs parted wider than the Red Sea. I went for it. Silly, I know, but at least it was a reminder that unprotected sex is far, far better than wrapping up. That thought will comfort me as I contemplate my disease-ridden demise.
On my second dalliance, my hostess presented me with a condom so big that I thought it was a colostomy bag. It was flapping around so much during our union that the inevitable happened – it broke. She produced another jumbo, only for this to also end up in shreds. As she prepared to go to another room to find another, I conceded defeat and asked her to finish me off by hand.
Ban Chang offers fun at very reasonable rates. It is the 19th hole of choice for the many golfers who play at the excellent local courses. It also has decent, largely deserted beaches just five kilometres down the road. Check it out if you are in the area, but remember to take your own condoms.
15 Responses to “Black gold by On Nutter”
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Yes I remember the Mickey Rourke Lookalike. I just knew the girl I pic...
Daywalker,That's how you'll know me at the Mango.Middle-aged bald guy ...
The first time I got to Eden, you landed at Don Maeng.
Yep - I remember walking past Eden and keep walking to the end of the ...
Trojan,You have the Mango and the Eden on your list. Just don't get t...- Soi Dog, Why on earth would you want to wear a school uniform?Lolitas...
Excellent write up, had me pissing myself.Been here 8 years and done s...
They laughed and said “No pomphem. We take care. Lelax.” Cool. Don’...
ROLLN at an AA meeting...talk about irony.- Funny stuff! I was intimidated by the Eden Club too. Don't know how I ...
Recent Comments
Translator
I always take my own condoms to Thailand. Thai Condoms Suck! Way too small Thick Rubber, and no Sensation.
View all comments by radicalron
“Mai pen rai, no need”………..Chok dee!!!
View all comments by Hawaiian Punk
Awesome read! Thanks for sharing. Sounds like a lovely little oasis and change of scenery. Do let me know when you are going again.
View all comments by pmmp
Great Post – As usual from On.
The camel bar – I know it well and yes the school uniformed waitresses are available for hire, at least some of them are, a few seem to have long standing arrangements with their local customers. One meal from the camel is more solids than any body needs in a 24 hour period. Had some good nights down the strip with many a lock in so anything goes after that. Spent some time down the dark-side in Songklha (1st visit 1994 – WOW it was wild) but it is a sad sight nowadays – very slim pickings – so bad in fact that when I was there in November I nearly spent the night alone.
View all comments by Riodon
Appreciate some new information. Unfortunately now you have to sweat it out for 6 months to see if you caught “it”. Gotta always carry in Thailand, everywhere and all the time especially if you are drinking. Hope things turn out well for you in July
View all comments by 8 Ball
On Nutter your too cool! you English guys are great to read! I’ve often contemplated my disease ridden demise!!!!
Hey Ron recon dude?
View all comments by nurseRon
ON – Thanks for revealing to the world my ‘secret’ getaway. I hope the Strip will not be as packed with customers as Kinnaree is since TFS2M mentioned it.
View all comments by mart
@mart: Kinnaree is packed now? Cool. They should buy the Ghost a few beers as he let us know about it first. I do miss his reporting. For those interested the Ghost mentioned it here first and then the trip report came later.
View all comments by pmmp
pmmp – Cool for you, not for me
Not even sure it’s cool for them. It’s not unusual for such businesses to kill themselves by beeing too busy. I still go there to listen to the nice tunes no one else plays in Patts but it certainly is less relaxing a place than it once was.
View all comments by mart
Great read. Good luck.
View all comments by Nedword
Always good to read about somewhere different. Especially away from the well known areas. Like radicalron I always bring my rubbers that I buy in Oz. The irony being that they are inevitably made in Thailand.
View all comments by Wombat
Hey Mart, I hear you, ON that was messed up. Well, OK I’m telling myself it shouldn’t really for the cause, but it still hurts a little.
BC is my Thai hometown. I know the street well, but only from my Thai brother in-laws spot. A crazy night or two every visit(yes, my Thai brother-in-laws made me even worse), especially when they finally got at least one English Karoke song, Hotel California of course, and rocked it like a Cali vet, concert style, had em eatin hot cashews out the palm of my hand.
’01=’02 is when it really picked up nicely, although there had been early farang presence in the area, since that war when U-Tapao was built.
Yes, many found memory’s in other nearby spots too, especially U & I in Sattahip, now that was … well every day is crazy isn’t it.
LOL, now exposed. Don’t go there it sucks like everywhere else
View all comments by dogflye
SATTAHIP – similar scene, much nearer to pattaya….
Thai Durex condoms are ok these days – the ‘wellies’ the girls have are the ultra cheap thai crap ones – never use them. 1mm thick and tiny. no sensation, no blood supply and you need to be strong and fit to get one on. im knackered just doing that – so shagging’s out of the question!! always take your own, keep one (or 5) in your wallet.
i go for the durex feather-lites, not had one split for years so they are much better than i recall on my 1st vizit to LOS 20 yrs ago.
‘bodyglove’ brand (well body*** something) boast 54mm circumference, they are nice too, thin and usually cheaper then the featherlites.
i always carry some ‘rubbers’ in my pocket, everyday – its a must here ‘cos you never know when you may ‘get lucky’ or bump into an old pal and end up going on the piss – which always leads to some
go-go or ST bar in the end!!
bareback is good too. your choice, but personally i never bareback in a ST bar. too many things to take home that you really dont want with you …. and are hard to get rid of – and i dont just mean the girls!!!
M Pea.
View all comments by M P
@MP – Its Bodyguard, and they are the best I’ve found here. The 54′s are standard western size and the new purple packet ones are just 54′s with a bigger tip which I find more comfortable. Better than any of the durex shite you buy here which just seem to rip if they encounter any degree of enthusiasm and are just too damn tight if you end up with Thai size. Bodyguard are not carried at the big stores and chains, but found at the small pharmacies and most importantly that small shop in Soi Cowboy where the girls buy their cheap booze. The purple ones are hilareous, because they state clearly in English and Thai that they are the largest – give them to a girl ‘for your Thai boyfriend’ is worth a chuckle
View all comments by Cabby
was in shongkla 2 weeks ago ,big place but no real action,the dark side should be called the dead side,went to a irish pub nearby ,had a gret meal there and proceeded 100m down the road to the only bar with but,ha had the condom freeze effect so got a blow job instead.she was a very fresh 20 year old that wanted to jump in my car back to samui after my visa run to saturn /malaysia border.that place is the pits ,the malaysian men come accross the border for a quicky and there were knock shops everywhere ,but none that i wanted to go anywhere near.dreadfull place indeed.
View all comments by zepplin