The Beer Thread by Pants Elk
Posted by Pants Elk | Blog, Reader Submissions | Posted on October 2nd, 2008
Drinking is an inevitable part of whoring, and beer is your basic entry-level drink. I eventually found my way to Beer Lao, after adopting Beer Sing(ha) because I thought the label looked high-quality, and then Tiger, which friends assured me was better than Sing (DISCUSS). Beer Lao remains a favourite. It’s a good, dry-ish drink which actually tastes of beer. Thais relegate it to the unfit-even-for-animals league on cultural grounds. How can anything made in Lao be any good? The label is butt-ugly, too. But give them a blind taste test and they’ll take it over Sing and Tiger every time.
Chang is a whole different drink. I’m not even sure it’s beer. Rumours abound as to its ingredients, and you’ll hear slanderous talk of formaldehyde and other additives, and the phrase ‒nothing found in nature”. While I’m certain the manufacture (and that’s the right word) of this drink conforms to international safety and health norms … er … the almost hallucinogenic effect it can have on the unwary drinker does lead one to think it could never be brewed in, say, Germany. The first time I drank too much of this brew (and if you drink Chang, you’re drinking too much, by definition) I had an out-of-body experience. Unfortunately it was a bar-girl’s body I was out of. Leaving her to clean up, I found myself in a city that looked like Bangkok, but swirlier, and after wandering the streets exuding goodwill to all men I fell into the embrace of the most gorgeous girl I ever saw. The momentary elation was quickly followed by a sense of mounting horror as I found myself being pulled off Pig-Dog outside the Majestic Suits after (I am told) an unsuccessful attempt at coitus. Oh, we’ve exchanged SMS since, but he still feels the pain. Whatever happens while you’re ‒Chang’ed Up”, though, is a stroll with a lute in a flowery dell compared to the morning after. The morning after a Chang night before is something I’d recommend only to those who enjoy the sensation of a doubly-incontinent elephant sitting on their head. Death seems a blessed relief by comparison, but the brain seems unable to cope with the logistics. You roll around in a pit of your own filth for twelve hours, groaning ‒I wanna DIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!”, which may be just a normal working day for Young Penfold, but you are much more finely-bred and deserve better.
I don’t know why I never threw Beer Leo (pron.: BEER LEE-OH KHRAP, and not to be confused with Beer Lao) at my kidneys while in Bangkers – snobbism, probably. It’s a modestly-priced drink with an unpretentious label I’d mistakenly thought was aimed at aspirational Thai manual workers … ri-ight. But now it is my Beer Of Choice. It has become the definition of beer for me. Everything else is just a drink. It’s also a sly 5% – this isn’t a weak brew by any means, but hides its muscle behind a disarmingly fresh taste. Better out of the bottle (as is all beer, except Chang, which is better in), BEER LEE-OH KHRAP is the first choice of the discerning piss artist in the Kingdom, and an ideal accompaniment to either a bag of insect parts or a blow-job in the Nana disco toilets. Served ice-cold at a swank gathering of your oh-so-fancy friends it will earn you a reputation as bon viveur and borderline cheapskate.
There are other brands on the shelves, but some make me wince just to look at them. Cheers, anybody?
65 Responses to “The Beer Thread by Pants Elk”
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Translator
I was introduced to LEO about 5 years ago by a friend who used to drink Chang. He gave up the “Thai wifebeater” after a trip back to Scotland, during which, the tingling and numbness he had long been suffering in his arm, disappared.
On his return to Thailand, my frined resumed drinking Chang and the numbness returned. Mentioning the circumstances to a friend, he was told, “Of course you idiot. Don’t you know it’s full of formaldahyde? In the quantitites you drink, you’re basically embalming yourself!”
I drank Leo with him steadily until Carlsberg was banished from the country and Tiger was brought in as a sad substitute. It was a few bah more expensive than Leo, but I found that I didn’t suffer the same headaches as the lion beer gave me.
I find it amazing you haven’t mentioned the San Miguel brand. In the Philippines, the beer selection is even smaller than in Thailand. You can have any beer you like, as long as it’s San Miguel — Regular, Ice or Light.
In an effort to shrink the waistline, I tried hard to like San Miguel Light and made a concerted effort to drink it instead of Tiger. I finally came to the conclusion that it simply is awful stuff that bears little resemblence to beer.
Singha Light, when you can find it, is definitely better.
Leo, by the way, is now available in small bottles in Coyotee’s go-go for 60 baht all night and in Baby Dolls for 95 baht.
View all comments by Pattaya Ghost
I have no valid opinion on beer, as I am a person of no real taste, but I consume massive quantities of the golden beverage so I will opine anyway.
Beer Lao – tried it once. didn’t like it
Chang – PE’s assessment is perfect. I drank it two or three times when I first arrived in the Land of Smiles and each time suffered the worst hangovers of my life. Utter Swill.
Leo – don’t like it but I will drink it when I’m hanging out with Thai guys — it seems to be the only beer they drink.
Heineken – probably my favorite… it seems to be very popular with Westerners here in the Kingdom.
Singha & Tiger – I can’t distinguish between them, and both are often found served in pint-sized glasses at attractive prices.
“Tiger Pint” and “one more” are the combination of words that have led to a lot of bad judgement and tragedy in my life over the past three years. Somehow I count each pint as “one” glass, even though it’s oversized. I never realize how much I’ve been drinking until I wake up next to a strange girl in the morning (usually sourced from the Nana Hotel parking lot) and wonder how I got here, since the last thing I remember was stopping in at the Big Mango for ‘one quick cold one’ on the way home.
How did this blog get to 900+ posts without ever having a beer thread before?!
View all comments by Werewolf
I like to experiment and tinker with things; cars, electronics, chemicals (if you know what I mean). Given the current shortage of Beer Lao, I’ve taken to buying the different brewed offerings from the Villa Market in an effort to match that clean brew. All to no avail.
However, after a recent late night bender I am happy to report success in matching the slightly repugnant offering of Chang:
1/2 cup Singha
2/3 cup Tiger
1/8 cup wash detergent (for the hallucinogenic after effects)
approx 1/8 cup Soi 23 runoff rainwater drained from the inside of my shoes (maybe it’s really providing the hallucinogenic after effects?)
approx 1/8 cup Spyy (not planned, but accidentally knocked over the remainder from a bottle the GF had left on the counter)
Enjoy
View all comments by Bubba
You mean there are beers other than Heineken?
Who knew?
View all comments by jack dawson
Heineken is predictable..that is the only piss I will drink.
You know exactly how you will feel in the morning after “X” amount of bottles the night before….
4-6 bottles – no really an issue next morning, maybe a slight headache depending on stomach content
6-8 bottles – headache
8-10 bottles – severe headache
After 10 it is just a severe headache but prolonged by the hour(s) depending on how many more you had beyond 10.
View all comments by Jack Spot
San Miguel Light?
View all comments by SukPsycho
If you would like to try Budweiser in Thailand just send us an email a day in advance and we will order it and have it beer cold ready for your arrival. Budweiser, the King of Beers!
Oh, and all white women are fat.
View all comments by pmmp
Any beer is good beer as long as you don’t have to pay for it. Then again i was at a function the other day and they served San Miguel, normally ok, but i think that the beer had been left in the direct sunlight for about a week and had a cloudy texture to it. Bad news, lucky the hospitality staff took my mind off the beer.
View all comments by Tails
You forgot Guinness, John Smiths, Kilkenny, Stella, Hoegaarden, Kloster, Asahi, Red Horse, Corona, Erdinger, and probably half a dozen others. Oh, and Phuket Island beer is surprisingly tasty if you can find it. O’Reilly’s in Silom had it a while back, dunno if it’s still available there.
I used to date a “beer girl” who worked for Cheers beer on some kind of commission gig – guzzling it in vast quantities was part of my seduction technique. It is vile stuff. So was she, in the end.
I tried BEER LEE-OH KHRAP once, at the insistence of Young Penfold. Never again.
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
Screw the Suds! I’ll take Chu-hi and Sho-cho all day long! The only problem is the Thai’s (or the rest of the world for that fact) haven’t heard of it! Nippon’s finest beverage by far!
This get me thinking…import/export perhaps?
View all comments by Moonman
BBB, I didn’t “forget” any beer. It was my remit to initiate a discussion on all available beers, their merits and demerits, and perhaps prompt the odd off-colour anecdote or two. I do not, of course, include the US “joke” brands in this.
F’rinstance; Heineken, which I’d always thought a kind of global constant in beer, seems to me to be a different brew in Thailand. I’m not sure how it would stack up in a blind tasting, either. We’re so used to the brand, and invest so much trust in it, that we’d drink whatever came out of the bottle. And it’s pricey – so why bother?
If you’re talking about truly ignored beers, I’d re-mention Cheers, which is currently cheaper than any other commercially available liquid, including slurry. And isn’t there something called Black Panther? From Vietnam? I find these more interesting (iff less drinkable) than the yawningly familiar premium draughts you mention.
My favourite brew is pretty much anything at all out of the ice-box at the Nana car park, about two a.m. That’s the drink that gets the night off to a good start.
View all comments by Pants Elk
PE — I beleive Archa beer is even cheaper than Cheers. 20 baht a can at the little convenience store next to my office. Even the Thai clerk there won’t drink it though.
I believe public works guys use it to scrub the blood off Isaan roads after motorbike crahses.
View all comments by Pattaya Ghost
Well, the local Heineken is brewed in Thailand. By Thais. Hardly going to taste the same as the real thing. Pricey? Pah.
Never heard of Black Panther, but a little Googling reveals this review:
http://beerasia.blogspot.com/2007/05/feel-power-of-black-panther.html
Looks almost lethal.
Oh, and I simply won’t stand for this shameless pillorying of American beer. It may not be the most subtle of beverages, but it has its uses. For example, Budweiser can come in very handy for cleaning motorcycle engines, and a 16oz can of Coors Lite can serve as a handy cosh.
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
The downside with my 2 favourite beers in Thailand is the wanky type of glass they are served in
Hoegaarden @ Witches Tavern Thong Lo (I have since dubbed the Witches Tit) comes in a fucking ridiculous hexagon shaped glass that has the circumfrence of basketball. Have to lift the glass with 2 hands which looks ‘whack’
Erdinger @ Tilac Soi Cowboy, the glass is taller then I am. Doesnt need to be that tall. Makes uou look like an ass
Cheers beer is utter shit. I took a girl to the little beergarden @ On-Nut BTS, and returning from the toilet shed taken the liberty of ordering me a cheers beer tower. Cheap bitch. The tower cost 280baht which is 300baht too much. Pure gash. I would rather drink the wringings from a week old sanny towel
Is ‘Red Horse’ that beer written in thai with the blue label? At 20 odd baht for a big bottle, its bound to be a grim drop
View all comments by Young Penfold
Also — I know, double post — I really get sick of the comments that all American beer is shite. Those spouting that nonesense are true ignoramuses.
Granted, most quality American beers are from micro-breweries, but it’s still beer and still sold at retail. (Did you know there’s a 25% alcohol content American beer called Utopia that sells for $100 a bottle?
But there are larger breweries with fine suds, including Samuel Adams, Sierra Nevada, Anchor Steam to name a few.
So, for your edification:
* The 25 Best Beers in America
* Michael Jackson’s Beer Hunter — No, not THAT Michael Jackson
And finally….
Top Beers on Planet Earth
View all comments by Pattaya Ghost
YP, Erdinger is Weißbier…….there’s a use for the tall glass! But you’re right, one should not be drinking Erdinger outside of Bavaria, let alone in Thailand…..
View all comments by Paraquat
Beer should be brown in colour and served cool. Piss is yellow and needs to be served so cold you cannot taste it.
View all comments by Not in Paradise
Well as far as the local beers go then I’m with Pants Elk and prefer Leo to any of the others (but of course, I will drink anything). However, my overall favorite beer that is available in Thailand has to be Paulaner Munchen, not cheap at around 200 bt a pint and also often served in a wanky glass but…..well, just try it next time you see it.
View all comments by Catman
Heineken fucking shite…!!! up there with that Foster piss..
View all comments by Fish
Hello everyone, another newbie on this very interesting site.
@PG – the first german beer on that “Top Beers on Planet Earth”-chart is number 27 after like 20 russian and american ones? Gimme a break. I’m not a german beer fanboy, but this is odd.
By the way, I’ve heard of a new brew in Bangkok with the german name “Federbräu”, Featherbrew. Opinion anyone?
Nice one, Pants Elk!
View all comments by BerlinWolf
When I was rich I used to drink some Bavarian weisse-bier (brand now forgotten) out of a wanky glass with a stalk of wheat cut into it to make it even wankier. There was a whole ritual involved in pouring it correctly so the bottle emptied when the head was 2003.1 microns above the rim, as per the Teutonbierdrinkennschlaffmeisterbraurirekulazion law of 1865. I can’t say I enjoyed it any more than a frosty tin of BEER LEE-OH KHRAP now I’m poor.
Good to hear that there are some drinkable US suds, though – Anchor Steam is the only one I know, which is dry as a popcorn fart, and has to be accompanied by a glass of real beer to help it down.
PG: Yes! Archa! Another brand I instinctively recoil from at the Seven. And YP’s story of the “Cheers Tower” – she obviously knew him better than he thought. You drank it anyway, right, YP? Thought so …
View all comments by Pants Elk
Feberbrau is made by Thai BEv, makers of Cheng.
BTW…Good luck getting any beer during the holidays…!
View all comments by MSB
Double-dipping: I like Federbrau a lot. Great branding, too, and I suppose that matters. Werewolf says something about not knowing about beer because he has no taste – THIS IS WHY THEY MAKE BEER. For people like you. And me. The honest Joe who just wants a reasonably-priced excuse to sit somewhere else.
View all comments by Pants Elk
@ PE – I drank it aye. One upside was it magically cured my cateracts, and when i guffed my guts up so hard the next day my anus prolapsed, it took the limescale off my bath
I remember a scary phase i went through when I was a young scamp in my chang drinking days. I would routinely wake up with my wallet empty, covered in brusies with someone elses sick in my hair (no dramas there) but when i would attend to the street-hog next to me, my hands and feet would develop seriously bad pins n needles as i was about to blow my load. Also it felt like id been mace’d in the eyes too
Anyone else had this?
View all comments by Young Penfold
The beer brewed in the Londoner pub on the corner of Sukhumvit 33 is excellent and between 4-7pm BOGOF!
View all comments by Nok Opayop
A few years ago, I met the brewmaster that Heineken sent over to Thailand. I asked him about the rumors of formaldehyde in the Thai beers.
He claimed that when the breweries started up, the water quality in BKK was so bad that formaldehyde was used as a purifying agent. When the water quality improved, the breweries stopped using it.
However, when they did, the Thais complained about the different taste of the beer. So, the breweries started putting it back in as a flavoring agent.
View all comments by Dilligaf
Does anyone EVER drink less than ten beers?!! I don’t think I ever have… might be an interesting experiment one day, though I hardly see the point.
At the Resort 5th anniversary party the other week they were giving Federbrau away for free. My mates and I consumed several bottles each. It seemed harmless enough. I wouldn’t go out of my way to acquire it.
If we start including microbreweries in the mix, then I have to speak up for German Tawandaeng (two locations Rama3 Road and Ramintra). It’s the best beer I’ve tasted in Thailand. I drank bucket loads and no sign of a hangover.
BTW: It seems to me that you don’t have to declare “double-dipping” unless your two posts are sequential. Other theories on comment-etiquette?
View all comments by Werewolf
bbboy totally argee with you mate,amarican beer is the worst beer ever.budwiser aghhhh ,now the australians have some of the best beer -and no im not talking about fosters-even a dry auzzie woulnt touch that ,but there are some nice small boutique breweries that make a fine drop over there.
View all comments by zepplin
children… children……
Henriot Champagne, specifically the 1959 Cuvee des Enchanteleurs from Reims strained through the gusset of a Bluebell girl – c’est magnifique
View all comments by Times Literary Critic
The best beer I had in Thailand, that’s an easy one. I decided I had been drinking too much beer and made the absurd decision to switch to whiskey for a night. After bar close at some joint near Thong Lor I tried to get a cab and was quoted scandalous ‘pissed up farang’ prices to return me to gentle, welcoming arms of my hotel. I found this especially shocking the scoundrels would try to get ME, a massively pissed up and a farang, to pay such outlandish charges. I decided to walk back to my hotel. I guessed it would be 35-4o minutes as long as I didn’t take any wrong turns.
I took a lot of wrong turns. As time passed I was seized by a deathly fear of sobering up. This was utterly absurd as a pair of whiskeys rocks had to have been sloshing about my stomach, plotting a devastating counter-attack-from-a-set-piece on the open net of my liver. I stopped at a 7-11 and was refused the privilege of purchasing beer. I stopped at a second 7-11 and was refused the privilege of entry. My besotted brain told me my best hope was to make haste to my hovel where the usurious mini-bar would at least disgorge a Heineken.
It was thus that, after hanging a left at the Asok BTS station, I found myself walking along the little shanty town across the street from the Q. Sirikit convention center, with its creepy gold leaf vulva in full moonlight. Some enterprising soul had set up a sidewalk café for non-existent customers and tapped a power line somewhere for a fridge. The same ambulatory challenges that had so concerned the 7-11 staff he found nothing but uproarious, and gladly overcharged me for a large, icy bottle of beer that I nursed for the rest of the walk home. That beer, sipped while I flew quarts of 20 proof farang sweat at anyone within several feet of me, was the best beer I’ve ever had in Thailand. CSI work the following afternoon revealed it to be the ever exotic Singha.
View all comments by Scampering Jack Wilshere
Hmm…well, interesting topic.
I for one am a big fan of Chang. And, like Werewolf, my regular nightly beer intake while in Thailand is always over 10; on a full night (roughly 8 pm to 5 am), about 15. I rarely get more than a slight headache when I drink Chang. And yeah, that’s probably nothing to be proud of, haha.
I can take or leave Singh…I actually prefer the, er, bolder flavor of Chang. But it’s gotta be REAL COLD.
Leo tastes like slightly flavored water to me…it reminds me of crap American beers (read: all American beers with aren’t local microbrews), I hate it. I only drink it when I’m with Thai girls who can’t hold their alcohol, because it is their brew of choice. For some reason they think it will make them less fat than other Thai beers will. Probably because it has not flavor.
Tiger and Singh are indistinguishable to me. I’ll drink either in a pinch.
I quite enjoy the flavor (and strength) of Beer Lao. And if you’re drinking it IN LAOS it’s an incredible bargain. Its flavor reminds me of Angkor beer in Cambodia, which is also a perfectly acceptable brew (for Southeast Asia).
View all comments by ratchada
The national beer of Jamaican is great – Red Stripe. The national hairstyle of Jamaica – the dreadlock, is however unbearably whack……..Especially on white guys
View all comments by Young Penfold
What’s up with Kloster? It seems harder to find.
View all comments by ArtTv
@AreTv: It’s still available but only sometimes. We stopped carrying it at the Mango because it was too unpredictable on when we could get it. Beerlao seems to be having some problems right now as well. Previous interruptions in beerlao distribution were only a few days here and there but this one is a month or so now. Hope it straightens out soon.
View all comments by pmmp
Looking forward to trying the beer Lao in a couple of months. Last trip I got into the Leo because it was the motocy drivers beer of choice and I figured they (of anybody) would have good taste. It fit my budget and didn’t make me hurl so I stayed with it. Plus it has a cool label and it is also my astrological sign.
I also like having an Erdinger when I’m in Tilac bar in Soi Cowboy. But because the Thais have no use for the letter “r” you have to ask for “EEdingehhh” or you might end up with a glass of orange juice instead.
10 years ago Kloster was my fave along with Singha Gold which is harder to come by as another poster pointed out.
I drank Chang by the gallon many a time during the 2 for 1 at Happy Hour in CatHouse with no lasting side-effects other than temporary blindness.
Cheers!
View all comments by kwai mai sabai
Re: Cambodian beers; there are two main brands, confusingly named ANCHOR and ANGKOR, which, if you use standard Brit/US tone, both sound like the same drink to the Cambodians. Which you prefer is a matter of choice (I prefer Anchor), but pronounce Anchor AN-CHOR, and Angkor as it’s spelt, and you’ll get the one you want.
Re: Quantity: I drink amazingly little, mainly because I have to sub BBB’s suds intake (for some reason, the expected postal order has never come through, or he’s just made the monthly on the Hi-Lux with the ski rack, or whatever) but also because it bloats me out. If I can stretch four beers to last an evening, I’m happy. I like vodka-lox, too, but it can be tricky to order as the complexity of combining spirits with ice is beyond most staff of the establishments I like to frequent. Plus it’s nearly always watered down. Drinking wine is a fatuous waste of time in the capital, unless you’re having a hi-so night out and inwardly yearning for a lo-so night in.
WW: Agreed about sequentiality, but I fessed up to double dipping because I thought that’s what I was doing – somebody snuck in between dips.
View all comments by Pants Elk
Does anyone know where you can get a bottle of Buckfast in BKK?
As with bar girls, beer is a matter of personal preference. I tend to stick with Heineken in the gogo’s as it is a know quantity to me. But the choice in beers & lagers available in BKK has improved dramtically over the past few years which has to be good news. I tend to stay away from draught beers cos IMHO in most gogos the quality of the draft has a direct correlation with the cleanliness of the pissers.
If effect is more imprtant than taste, for getting totally wasted at a bargain price I think its hard to beat the whiskey stall outside Country Road on SC.
View all comments by KTBanker
@KTBanker: Ah, the yaa dong stall. Pure loopy juice. My rule on draught beer is that if it’s available in a pint glass it’s probably okay. This rules out the draught “beer” sold in most of the gogos, which is no bad thing.
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
Best beer in Bangkok, for sure, is The Big Mango’s Tiger pint after I yelled tricycle. So cold and refreshing!
Tawandang’s lager is a close second. Awesome stuff
View all comments by But Different
@KTBanker: Indeed, the yaa dong stall on Cowboy! Long a fascination of mine, not just because of the yaa dong–which I do enjoy once in awhile–but because the guy that pours the yaa dong there has got to have the absolute best job in Thailand. All night long, serving (and no doubt drinking) shots to scantily clad gogo girls–drunk gogo girls, doing what they LIKE (which is not hanging on a pole waiting for a fat smelly farang to take them home and lay on top of them…!
Often is the night, watching him from Country Roads, where at various times I’ve known a lot of the staff quite well, and spent a fair amount of time, that I fantasized about paying him to take over his post for one evening. How much do you think it would take? 5,000?
On yaa dong in general: my main experience with it is sitting with freelancer friends in the trok (sub-soi) that connects Sukh sois 5 and 7, back in the day before it got all developed (about 4-5 years ago) drinking yaa dong, eating pickled vegetables and other treats, hearing their stories of the night before while they steeled themselves for the night at hand. Great social ritual, cheapest high in Thailand. And I really don’t think it’s all that strong.
My best freelancer friend and I would regularly polish off two baeng (fifths), 60 baht each, between us, in a 2 1/2 hour period, and I was still good to be for a few more beers after that. And, bless her heart, she absolutely INSISTED on alternating nights treating…no way could I get away with paying 120 baht when it was her turn, it was a really big deal with her. Oh yeah, and if either of us were short baht the guy selling it would give us credit, no problem.
That said, one has to be careful where one drinks yaa dong. Always go somewhere where someone you trust is a regular of that particular seller. This is because some stalls add insecticide to the yaa dong to give it more of a kick. And that is NOT an urban myth or silly rumor, like the “formaldehyde in Chang/Singh” bullshit. I mistakenly did two shots of the insecticide stuff once, I slept for one day and was laid up with an anvil-bouncing-around-inside-the-head feeling for a day after that. Not fun.
Likewise, don’t EVER drink the local yaa dong in Cambodia: the insecticide there goes in pretty much as part of normal practice.
View all comments by ratchada
I could swear that on my first trips to Thailand Bud was widely available in most 7-11′s( for a price though). Am I on crack?Maybe Im thinking of somewhere else.
View all comments by Mr Right
Pretty sure Ive seen Budweiser in some of the larger 7/11s down in Pattaya before. Perhaps it was the passively inhaled ICE from some skaghead fuck-nest from the night before still fucking my memory
Serious question here, are there any laws on a bar brewing their own beer? Mango-Beer anyone? Id buy it
View all comments by Young Penfold
While we’re on the subject of poison, don’t buy any shorts from the street bar close to Majestic Suits on Suk Street. I know, why the hell would anyone, but if it’s the early hours and you’re a little enhanced, it sometimes seems a good idea to relax and watch the stork-like ladyboys hook the unwary into their fiendish clutches – and then you realise they hooked you, too. At least you do if you haven’t drunk any of their “vodka”, which is pure formaldehyde laced with insecticide and a worm from Pig-Dog’s anus.
View all comments by Pants Elk
My personal thoughts…
1. Kloster. The connoisseurs choice. Crisp and unchemically. Not easy to find in whoremonger hangouts.
2. Singha. The perfect beer ice ice cold after a hot day. At 6% not be be quaffed carelessly after a hot day at the beach. Great early doors with very spicy Thai food.
3. Chang. The beer to drink when you’ve been ‘on it’ for a few days. Strong and full flavoured. A precursor to Sang Som cokes later on.
4. Leo. Perfect drunk at sundown in a rice field with ice cubes in it.
5. Beer Leo. The discerning sexpat’s new beer of choice. Cheap and quaffable.
As for international brands, Heineken makes me gag and I don’t touch the others in Thailand, exept an occasional Erdinger or German bottled Weissbeer.
View all comments by Combover
Budweiser is available from local distributors here but very expensive. As for brewing, not sure what the laws are but some pubs are doing it, like the Londoner. If we do decide to brew our own we will surely call it YP Ale.
View all comments by pmmp
YP already has his own wine, “Penfold’s Reserve”.
YP Ale? Because that’s what you’ve been drinking …*
*Think about this phrase. It is offered gratis as a surefire marketing slogan.
View all comments by Pants Elk
Double dip: hey, Combers, where do I find a rice field with ice cubes in it?
View all comments by Pants Elk
@Pants: they drop from the sky if you’re lucky.
View all comments by Combover
Well, I went out with a friend last night determined to carry out an experiment to see what happens if I drink less than ten beers.
First stop was Coyote on Sukhumvit where I drank two bottles of Heineken, two pint-sized frozen margaritas and two miscellaneous shots that were offered up by the bartender.
After that we went to the Big Mango where I consumed two pints of Tiger along with two more miscellaneous shots offered up by the bartender and manager. (I also bought a drink for the beautiful Mint. She took one sip then left it sitting on the bar as she left out the front door with some farang guy. Sad.)
Next stop, The Ring at Soi 7/1 where I quaffed a single Heineken before running out the door for fear of being eaten by the two trolls that came to our table. (Note to three amigos: that’s the last time I follow one of your recommendations)
Off to Soi Cowboy and Rawhide. Add two Heineken bottles to the count.
We decided to see what was on offer at the Cactus Club, but my buddy pondered for about 4.5 seconds before tapping my shoulder and leading me out.
We hit Spice Girls. I read a lot of bad comment about Spice Girls on this website and others, but I have to say that the lineup in there was well above average and the atmosphere was fun. Two more bottles of Heineken saw us through to lights up and bar closed.
It was 2:45 a.m., so not a bad hour for closing the Cowboy on a Friday night. Are any of the Bangkok Governor candidates proposing 24 hour sleaze zone for farangs? How about Chuwit… former massage shop owner who beats up reporters and says things like,
He sounds like the kind of guy who understands the importance of nudity and late night closing times. I’m pulling for him to be mayor. (He’s the guy who has the posters of himself sneering and carrying giant binoculars on the back of the motorcycle taxi). He’s number 8 on the ballot, so tip your bar girl extra to vote for him on Sunday!
Well, 2:45 a.m. is just too early to go home, so my buddy and I sat at the outdoor bar on Sukhumvit and Asok. One bottle of Heineken.
He was unaware that there is an all-night scene available upstairs at Soi Cowboy, so I took him up to the third floor of Penny Blacks where the music was blasting and people were playing pool. We didn’t stay, this was strictly to point out that many bars up and down Cowboy have an active after hours bar with pool and beer on the second or third floor.
We were back at Asok Road at 4:15 being annoyed by obnoxious taxi drivers. I literally screamed at one who was simply too annoying telling him to fuck off. He slinked away.
ON the topic of me being surly, one irritating elephant guy who wanted me to buy a 20 baht bag of food earlier in the evening got directly in front of me and I simply trampled him like Mr. Hyde of literary fame. I mumbled a fake surprised “oops, sorry” but I was secretly glad to step on the annoying little fuck.
At 4:15 we shook hands as my buddy headed south to his hotel and I north to my room. I walked home, arriving at the stroke of 5 a.m.
So, tally for the night:
2 margaritas
2 pints of Tiger
6 bottles of Heineken
So, ten drinks total, but only 8 beers. Technically I guess I achieved my goal.
I have to say that I may as well have been drinking water. I was never buzzed, never really affected in any way. For those of you who heard me shouting loudly at the Big Mango Bar, I wasn’t drunk, that’s my normal obnoxious voice. Sorry.
I still had an angry edge, as evidenced by my trampling of elephant boy and my scream-at of the taxi driver. So clearly my slow drinking rate wasn’t enough to mellow me.
I woke up today with no hint of a hangover or indeed any blank spots in my memory or any of the other normal signs of drinking.
I believe this would be the first time since I grew hair on my chest that I’ve ever drunk less than ten beers in a night.
All in all I can’t recommend it. Next time I reckon I’d just drink bottled water and save a few baht.
View all comments by Werewolf
YP and others — Bud is widely available in bottles here. 7-Eleven, some smaller grocery marts in Jomtien, plus all the regulars, like Foodland, Villa, and Best supermarkets.
I didn’t drink it at home. Why the hell would I drink it here at 3 times the price?
View all comments by Pattaya Ghost
Double-dip, sorry, I didn’t realize it was the same thread….
WW — Beer MELLOWS you? From all my past reading, I thought the more drunk you got, the more obnoxious you got. Elephant Boy and Taxi Prick sound like victimes of drink to me…
PE — I took one girl (on two separate) occasions from the aforementioned street bar. Maybe there are a few. This one was a few doors down from the Suites. Maybe not the same.
Anyway, she was definately all woman. But I really chafe at having to buy “lady drinks” and “barfines” at what’s no more than some plastic chairs on the street. Plus I even got attitude when, around noon, I gave her just 1,000 for her services.
It can’t be bar if ho sign of it is not there come sunrise.
View all comments by Pattaya Ghost
Penfolds Pale Ale – ‘Sweet, creamy and uncommonly good’ We could even do one of those creepy Werthers Original type adverts with me and Pants Elk (PE being the creepy old sex-pest in the cardigan, and me the pre-pubic wide eyed grandson) and play them on the BTS
Im thinking something along these lines….
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=9sUaD2r11oE&NR=1
View all comments by Young Penfold
The point at which beer starts to have a counter-productive effect on a night’s libidinous recreation is notoriously hard to judge. Before Magic Beer Point X, you feel you’re not quite in the mood, one more then it’s definitely back to R4 for number 67, that kind of feeling. Beyond MBPX, your physical ability to keep up with your proposed draining-down session decreases in inverse proportion to your confidence. The slow slide to being a beer-filled flesh balloon bouncing along Suk Street, hands and feet flapping uselessly as tuk-tuks use you as a giant beachball, has begun. And then the tears. And the incontinence. It is at this point that I usually do my best work.
But draining down into your diminutive inamorata precisely as you reach MBPX in some way puts you back at zero, perfectly ready for another run at the skittles.
And what’s this thing about shots? I mean, okay, but it’s not a *drink*, is it? It’s a kind of snack, I reckon.
View all comments by Pants Elk
WW: Was elephant boy pissed at you for not buying food for his elephant? Or because you were buying it and eating it yourself?
View all comments by Daywalker
PE — I find 1/4 tab of Vitamin V (or 1/2 of generic Vitamin K) offsets any drop in ability past MPBX.
View all comments by Pattaya Ghost
Is there many microbreweries in Bangkok?
View all comments by Draken
PE: Please note that the “shots” were not included in the final tally, merely part of the story background.
I find that MBPX can be reached in one of (say) three ways. Over the course of one hour:
3 Coyote’s Pint-sized margaritas
4 Big Mango Tiger pints
6 Bottles of Heineken
To maintain that perfect balance requires approximately one small draft or one bottle of beer every 60 minutes or so for the balance of the night.
I accomplished this perfect balancing act once, just days before a total solar eclipse was visible in southern Cuba.
I’ve spent years attempting to do it again. I reckon I’m as likely to succeed as the people of Cuba are likely to see another total eclipse in my lifetime.
Talking about beer is much better than the usual g-club or politics crap that litters this site, isn’t it.
View all comments by Werewolf
They used to have Duvel ( great belgian beer) at midnight on cowboy. But i drank them all.
For microbrewerie you can try the “holland beer and shows bar” next to central rama 2. Nice selection.
View all comments by RRR
Werewolf; talking about Chang is nicer than drinking it, too. No way could I keep up with your pace – “props, dewd!” (as I believe the young people – like pmmp – say). My own MBPX is reached after a couple or three Beer Lao (khrap) (or substitute) and a couple of vodka Red Bulls – I drink like a girl. Which is better than dressing as one, like Young Penfold. Listen, YP, it’s the kind of thing you do for a bet ONCE, okay? So at the cusp of my MBPX I’d better be in shouting distance of an R4 spinner or my evening, and not me, is fucked. After messily draining down my manly fluids into whatever apertures are presented, it’s back to Big Dogs, the meter satisfyingly re-set at zero. All this was when I was a young man, of course. Now it’s set the Ultrasonic Dog Bark Trainer on stun and settle back in front of the TV with the newspaper the durian was wrapped in and a nice cup of tea. Yesterday afternoon I was shooting empty BEER LEE-OH KHRAP tins off the back of my pick-up, my wife weaving through a hail of gunfire to replace them as I emptied a pallet’s worth of the noble brew down my neck.
View all comments by Pants Elk
I’ve heard several people comment favorably on the Holland Beer Bar; for some strange reason, to date, I’ve never been there.
View all comments by Werewolf
Our investment strategy is based on many principles of risk management. Such planning allows us to minimize risks and guarantee a stable rate of interest for our members. Low risk and long term profits are our focus of attention
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“SOIC”
View all comments by OnersInassy
Nothing seems to be easier than seeing someone whom you can help but not helping.
I suggest we start giving it a try. Give love to the ones that need it.
God will appreciate it.
View all comments by gonypaynC
Bless you Pants! I miss you too mut!
View all comments by mart
I would rate Beer Lao as my favorite, with cold Carlsberg a close second.
View all comments by Big Hairy Pig
So a few people here do remember Klosters. I heard it was driven off the market by Taksin who had the license for selling Heineken I always ask for Klosters but rarely get it. The last time was at the White Lotus on Soi Buakow in Pattaya. which incidentally has the cheapest beer in Pattaya at about 35 baht a bottle. When I used to drink it years ago I considered it to be a breakfast beer but when I checked the last time it was in fact 5%. Regarding Heineken – it rates along with Watneys Red Barrel and Fosters.
View all comments by The Lurcher