Soi Sex by On Nutter
Posted by On Nutter | Blog, Pattaya, Reader Submissions | Posted on November 14th, 2007
Soi 6 in Pattaya has more tattoos than a Hell’s Angels’ convention. It is not the place to find a sweet Thai flower. But if you want to get laid at budget-beating prices, look no further than the sleaziest street in Thailand’s sleaziest resort.
Two years ago, I knew nothing about its reputation when I walked down its entire 200 metres looking for a guesthouse a friend had recommended. Scores of hard-bitten hookers wailed at me from in front of black-glassed bars, some simulating blow-jobs. It was like being taken back to how I imagine Pattaya was 35 years ago when American servicemen dropped into town on R&R breaks from Vietnam. I was scared.
My fear continued until recently when my friend Big Mike, a veteran sexpat, gave me a crash course on how to survive and prosper in this little corner of Sodom and Gomorrah.
LESSON ONE: At least 90 per cent of Soi 6 women are tattooed, unattractive and have personality disorders. Have nothing to do with them.
LESSON TWO: There are gems to be found among the other 10 per cent.
LESSON THREE: Never go into a bar unless you have identified your target outside and requested her company. If you ignore this lesson, you risk sexual assault from the woman of your worst nightmares.
LESSON FOUR: These bars are brothels. Do not feel obliged to buy anyone a drink.
A sensible strategy is to walk down the soi from Second Road and inspect the talent until you come to Jack Tar Bar, near the end of the soi and one of the few no-hassle bars. This is an open bar and you can relax with a beer while you assess what you have seen and observe the dozen girls sitting opposite outside the Red Point Bar.
I lost my Soi 6 virginity in the Red Point. Big Mike and I simply walked across the street and he told our targets we wanted to go upstairs. He has never been one to beat around the bush. The deal was 300 baht for the bar and 700 for the girl for short time. My new friend was such an enthusiastic performer that I rewarded her with a lady-drink after the event. This struck me as a better deal than my usual Bangkok routine of buying lady-drinks and not getting laid.
My second Soi 6 encounter was with an Isaan cutie wearing a school uniform at the O Bar. As she led me for a post-coital shower, we bumped into a farang dragging a suitcase down the corridor. Bizarrely, this place doubles as a guesthouse. If you are going to holiday in Sin City, I suppose there is some logic in staying in a brothel.
Big Mike and I returned to Soi 6 last weekend. We were having a beer in Jack Tar when I received a worrying text from my sister in England asking me to check my email as soon as possible. I rushed up the soi in search of an internet café and was near the end when my way was blocked by an absolute stunner who grabbed my hand. The email could wait.
The aptly named Boom led me into her bar and, without even asking for a drink, she straddled me, lifted her denim skirt, pulled up her top to reveal her breasts and produced a condom. By Soi 6 standards, this was a lengthy courtship. I was helpless and appeared to have grown an extra leg. ‒300 baht for the room and 500 for me,” she said. We went upstairs.
As I thought of the financial demands of far less attractive women in Bangkok, it seemed wrong to give her only 500 baht. But that was the going rate and I hadn’t haggled her down. An Isaan girl can gorge on somtam and deep-fried insects for 10 days on 500 baht. Clearly, Bangkok’s mercenary sexual services solutions providers are way out of synch with the rest of Thailand.
It hasn’t all been plain sailing for me in Soi 6. I once made the mistake of ignoring Lesson Three and agreed to provide moral support to a newbie friend who had seen a girl he liked outside a bar. He invited her inside for a drink and sat on a sofa. I sat alone on a sofa opposite, but you are never alone for long in a Soi 6 bar.
To my horror, the mamasan was ushering an absolute beast towards me. On a scale of one to 10, this was minus 75: fat, middle-aged, ugly, black and wearing a leather dress and fishnet stockings that somehow managed to make her even more revolting. ‒She no speak English,” said Mama. ‒She start only yesterday.”
This was getting worse – I couldn’t even tell her to go away.
Things went downhill fast. As my friend engaged in foreplay with his very cute hostess, the rookie minger by my side took that as her cue to mimic his actions. When my friend stroked his girl’s breasts, my beast massaged my tits. When he went down below, she grabbed my unresponsive dick. Then, when he started French-kissing, a tongue the size of a Great Dane’s appeared in front of my eyes.
Ugh! Check bin khap!
23 Responses to “Soi Sex by On Nutter”
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Translator
Guess where i m going to go on my next trip to thailand? hahahah
definitely have to check that place out, i didnt know about it and i usually stay a Soi away from that area.
View all comments by Omoroi Koto
Nice report and excellent timing. I’m going to Pattaya for the first time in a couple of weeks and had heard a little about Soi 6 but now I know what to watch out for. Thanks.
View all comments by Mark
Another literary classic! Reminds me of the writing style of a long-term Thai expat (http://philipwilliams.freeservers.com/).
I’ll nominate the following for the blog segment best describing why Pattaya is far surpassing Bkk in the P4P game:
“My new friend was such an enthusiastic performer that I rewarded her with a lady-drink after the event. This struck me as a better deal than my usual Bangkok routine of buying lady-drinks and not getting laid.”
View all comments by DJ
I’v been going to soi 6 for many years now for some afternoon delight and I’ve never been disapointed. It’s true that most of the girls are downright ugly, but as stated in lesson number 2, there are gems to be found.
View all comments by hanuman
I think I’ll give soi 6 a miss.
If I wanted women that are “tattooed, unattractive and have personality disorders” then I’d stay with my UK girl-friend.
View all comments by Day Walker
friend of mine told me that in Patts for a ‘quiet beer’ around 1pm hit soi6, we wont get hassled……….
im not phased or shocked at all, but the filth this girls were screaming at me across the road would make a hardened Millwall fan blush. i was hooked.
Fought our way to the top of the soi and ducked into RedPoint Bar which has by far the best in terms of girl quality. 5 minutes later i was smashing the granny out of some stunner with tits the size of my head. 300 for the room, 500 for a fuck. She text me nexy day asking me to go back – 300 room, 200 for a fuck.
You have to sift your way through some absolute swampdogs but there are some absolute stunners to be had, and no ‘buy me dlink’ bullshit
View all comments by myspace.com/penfold_xxx
“By Soi 6 standards, this was a lengthy courtship.”
LMAO.
View all comments by The Asian Badger
are the soi 6 hookers any worse than the customers that go with them?
View all comments by MSB
Onnutter: Another literary masterpiece! I fell off my chair laughing! I am NOT a Pattaya guy. I’ve been there a half dozen times and NEVER had sex with a hooker there (okay, once in a soapie… but never again).
I think one reason is that on my first visit there (about 3 years ago) I arrived about noon, rented a motorcycle and cruised around town for the afternoon. Because soi 6 had been recommended as the place to go, it was my first destination.
I shudder reading your description:
“Scores of hard-bitten hookers wailed at me from in front of black-glassed bars, some simulating blow-jobs. It was like being taken back to how I imagine Pattaya was 35 years ago when American servicemen dropped into town on R&R breaks from Vietnam. I was scared.”
That’s exactly how I felt. The terror stays with me to this day. I’ve never been back to Soi Six, and Pattaya holds a special horror for me based on the beasts on that street.
I agree with Asian Badger… the funniest line of 2007.
View all comments by werewolf
I don’t know if it’s still there but about a year ago there was a GoGo on soi 6 called Kiss Kool. Talk about finding a gem in the middle of elephant dung.
Me and a buddy were doing the soi6 “window-shopping” until we saw these cuties outside KK. ON is so right about picking the girl outside, much like what you do at Lolita’s. The girls took us in and it was just like a GoGo you would see on Soi Cowboy with a nice lineup. Well, for soi 6 anyway.
We both struck gold as the girls delivered top notch performances. The prices were similar to ON’s, 300 for room and 700 for the short time. The rooms and shower were on the third floor. Brilliant.
Most of the soi are brothel lounges as ON points out with at least one Ladyboy bar catering to those who don’t abide by the ass being an “exit only” orifice. The brothel lounges are mostly dank and dark and the girls are not shy. May soi 6 live forever
View all comments by pmmp
…but, what was the email about?
View all comments by myrth
p.s. that poor coffin dodger in the 2nd foto doesnt know whats in store for him if he ventures upstairs
poor bastard
poor girl
View all comments by myspace.com/penfold_xxx
Myrth: The text had me worrying someone had died or something. When I got to the internet cafe, the email was just asking me to check a flight. That’s sisters for you.
View all comments by On Nutter
I can remember Cafe Ole on soi 6 and the special cookies the Mamasan used to bake..Me and 2 buddies went in there for a quick snack early one evening.
After about 30 minutes we decided the cookies weren’t coming on so we ate more. As we sat there snacking and drinking, a guy came in looking for a game of darts. My English friend figured he was up for a game, but ended up throwing darts into the floor and giggling like a schoolgirl..in fact we all were.
We ended up taking a bag of said cookies to Abbe’s bar and turning all the girls on. A few hours later we dropped back by Abbe’s only to find the entire staff staring at the ceiling fans.
View all comments by bo
bo – these don’t sound like the cookies my mother used to bake.
View all comments by smitty
As I read these comments I can’t help thinking how unadventurous so many guys in Thailand are. Some guys must walk around with their eyes closed – I can’t believe it! Come on suckers get out there and explore…
View all comments by smartyanimal
sa – u may be right but it is probably not wise to jump on a site u are fresh to and start calling your fellow commenters suckers…
View all comments by smitty
Yeah well.Soi 6…………..there ia also Soi 8 and a whole load of bars on 2nd road between the two sois. There are also Go Go bars on Soi 6 and perhapd more importantly Good pies! Pie-ttaya. Ahhh Land of Smiles….Pieland..I will be there soon………..But I am dreading Song Kran………..when exactly does it start?
View all comments by sandman