Bangkok Plug & Play by Werewolf

Posted by werewolf | Blog, Reader Submissions | Posted on October 1st, 2007

I used to live in Sydney Australia. Pay 4 Play there generally means visiting a brothel with between 1 and 20 girls, seeing the ones available, and choosing one for 30 or 60 minutes, or visiting a rub-n-tug massage parlor. The brothels & massage parlors themselves are generally spread far apart, and usually well-hidden. You need to do a lot of research to find them, and you need good transport to access many of them.

By contrast, Bangkok is a Plug & Play city. It’s nightlife options for visiting Westerners are collected into a few fairly tightly defined areas that are generally well-serviced by transport options. If you simply know the names and general locations of a few streets (Soi Cowboy, Patpong, Nana, RCA are probably enough for most newbies) you should have enough information to enjoy your first week-long holiday in the Land of Smiles.

You don’t need to read the instruction manual for Bangkok; it’s got quick start features. Unlike Sydney, the brothels aren’t hidden away in dark corners – they are lit up with neon, and there are a dozen girls every few steps who are happy to help you find what you are looking for. It is, in short, user-friendly – no tour guide needed.

I mention this because I notice a lot of people on internet blog & forum sites trying to get as much information as possible before coming here on their first holiday. I’m talking about guys who are planning to visit Thailand in the near future for the purpose of having a lot of sex with a lot of Thai girls. They are asking questions about the best bars to visit, whether to use internet escort services, and where to find the girls.

Even though I am a plan-a-holic myself, I think these efforts are largely unnecessary.

Bangkok’s nightlife and pay4play scene is so diverse and easy to use that (a) assuming you make it from the airport to a hotel somewhere close to a nightlife area, everything will be easy to find, and (b) planning your holiday based on someone else’s ideas of what you should do may cause you to completely ignore things you would have really enjoyed.

I mean, what’s the best entertainment option in Bangkok?

• Soi 7 Beer Garden
• Eden Club
• RCA
• Patpong ‒Ping Pong” shows
• Nana gogo bars
• Lolita’s
• Soapy Massage
• Katoey Bars
• Nana Disco
• Freelance Bars like Gullivers or Hillary II bar
• Small beer bars like Queen’s Park Plaza on Soi 22
• Livingstone’s and the high priced bars of Soi 33
• After-hours bars like Spicy and the Tunnel
• G-clubs
• Sukhumvit Road “Miracle Mile” at 3:15 a.m.

The options are so diverse that invariably there will be some things you love and some you don’t, and your opinion is probably going to be different from mine.

Everyone has their favorite aspect of Bangkok’s fun and naughty scene, and most people have some aspects that they just don’t participate in. Relying on other’s recommendations before you see it for yourself means that you may miss out on the parts of Bangkok that would have made it the most memorable experience of your life. I’m not saying that it’s a bad idea to share information and opinions – I’m saying that first-time visitors should explore Bangkok and discover it in their own way. It doesn’t require a lot of advance planning.

That said, there are three things I do think newbies should research before coming to Bangkok for the first time:

1. Learn where the main nightlife areas are. If you’re here for the first time and staying a week or two, you’ll probably never have to leave the stretch of road between Sukhumvit Soi 4 and Soi 33. This stretch of road is probably no more than 2 kilometers long and is serviced by three train stations and hundreds of hotels. (I know people who come here for 7 days and never venture away from Soi 4 & Soi 7).
2. Find the right hotel. If you’re here for pure fun, make sure that the hotel is located near one or more of the main nightlife areas, that it’s fairly close to a train station, and that it is girl-friendly (ie. No surcharge for bringing a guest to your room). editor’s note: Not a hotel guide but some good info about hotels can be found here. Hotels Anyone?
3. Find out how much you should expect to pay for different services and in different areas. These days, with the internet, the info isn’t hard to find. That said, you’re on holiday, so pay what is comfortable and enjoy yourself. Just please don’t be totally stupid with your money… it’s not good for you and (more importantly) it’s not good for me.

When you arrive, you may want to find a decent bar that can act as a ‘home base’ where you can go for relaxation, and also to get advice and directions as needed (or to pick up a wingman). The best place in Bangkok to act as a home base is, of course, The Big Mango, but there will almost always be a few options near your hotel. It’s good to have someone who can tell you exactly where you can find Ratchada or Thong Lor, for instance, and how to get there if you need to know.

The real key is that as soon as you venture out of your hotel, and walk to one of the streets where you know the nightlife can be found, you’ll realize right away that you don’t need any help. It’s all right in front of you. You can shoot pool, get a massage, visit a gogo, grab some Thai food, drink a gin & tonic, listen to live music or go out dancing. The girls mostly speak enough English to help you get what you want, and there are plenty of other Westerners around to provide directions or advice if you want it, but I have no doubt that if you just walk around with your eyes open, you’ll discover Bangkok on your own. You’ll build your own unique holiday experience without needing any help.

Of course, the longer you stay here, or the more frequently you visit, the more you will want to explore different options. I mean, do you really want to see the shows at AngelWitch again? That’s when you may need to research a bit more (you’re not going to trip over Saprano’s or the Tunnel walking around on Sukhumvit Road), but that comes later, when it’s time to read the owner’s manual because you’re sure that the software you just bought will do more than you’ve done with it so far.

But for the first timer, Bangkok (and Pattaya) probably offer the best Plug & Play features available anywhere.