Gum
Posted by sideshowBOB | Blog, Reader Submissions | Posted on June 23rd, 2009
That’s it folks. That is the only thing I can honestly say that I am missing when it comes to life in Thailand. I have been to England, France, Monaco and now the US. I live a pretty simple life and I am always on the search for new things and wonder about things that I don’t have or can’t live without. Like I have tried to explain here before but some people don’t agree – sex in Asia is a simpler thing. Even if you are not paying for it one cannot deny that it is easier to get laid in Asia than in the States or England. Sure – if you are rich, a model or a serious PUA then maybe not but for the mere mortals out there – getting laid in Asia is not rocket science. So that means you spend less time wining and dining, begging for it, falling in love and or spending time and money in the spots hoping to pick up. All in all I believe it allows me the time to enjoy my life more.
So there I was in the US with my folks. My brother already introduced me to the wonders of Jimmy Dean sausages on a stick wrapped in pancake batter. Yummy. I even forgot to try syrup on it. Had a few backyard BBQs – something I miss here but it is not impossible if one has a balcony and a BBQ. Booze was pretty cheap in the stores and the selection of spirits at the local BevMo would make any BBKite drool with envy but then again we have go-go bars where the booze is good enough, cheap enough but comes with hordes of scantily clad girls.
Given that I figured I would then try to top that in the US.
So I went to my old fav strip club on Highway 50. 15 bucks to get in. All you can drink flat soda. No booze. Marginal food – they used to have a good burger BTW. Out of the 20 girls maybe 2 were hot. They had some of the fattest dancers I have seen. I used to just sit at the tip rail to take in the nudity but this time I was frightened so I sat a table back but that comes with risks as well. Seems every dancer who is not dancing comes to beg for a table dance. That is another 20. Topless. No touching. Had one cute girl I bought a drink for who took the time to understand the Bkk scene as I explained it. She said if she was a guy she would move there. My thoughts exactly.
Roads. The roads are nice but seems everywhere in California they are being worked on. Highway Patrol everywhere. Just like Bangkok – when the going gets tough the cops write tickets. France. Roads are amazing but it costs an arm and a leg to use them. Pubs – well the bars in California never hold much appeal for me unless I am out with some friends but the costs are shocking. Pubs in England. Okay – I went. Can’t say I am missing much and most are closed now anyway.
Big motorcycles. All over the place. My biggest beef about Thailand is the tax on real bikes. Just sucks bigtime.
Computer stores are awesome but this is Thailand so we get most of our software a different way. Games too. About the only thing that is better is the variety and the pricing. For items like cameras, iPods and such. The iPhone 3GS looks cool. I am sure True will have an overpriced one in stock in a few months. Android phones look cool – can’t get those around here. 3G though. Please.
So what am I getting at? Gum. It is the only thing I picked up in the US that I am missing here. That new Zing brand is tasty. Bunch of really wicked flavors. Good bubbles and long lasting. Not too sweet but sweet enough for a long chew. Bought a few packs. Almost afraid to chew it all since I won’t be able to get anymore.
Long story short or maybe not short enough. All it takes sometimes is a trip abroad to remind you about how good life can be here – depending on what you want out of life. Some people say there are too many losers here – but I met more than a few back in the States. Every been to rural Nor Cal? I guess I get a kick out of being a foreigner and having tried it in a few places I keep thinking Thailand is pretty okay. Sure – it is not perfect. It is struggling but so is the World but it can get frustrating when Thailand is causing many of their own problems.
More on that later.
As always the blog is something that reflects my own life at times. I have my ups and downs and lately things feel more down than up but that is the environment and it is hard to not feel the effect of it. However I am lucky to be here and as hard as it is at times – I will take it over a life of Safeways, freeway traffic, expensive food, bad service and this feeling that you are surrounded by people who wish they were doing something different but yet have no choice.
Back and glad to be here. More tales to follow.
I will leave you with this article that I find to be so off that it is just laughable:
You now face the inevitable assumption that you went to Bangkok to either find sex or to find love. Both of these assumptions will ruin your chances with the opposite sex forever. We’re going to give you a primer on what you’re going to have to defend yourself against — the accusations of being a pathetic, desperate, misogynistic sleaze. In the end, you may agree with us that if this is what a single man has to face upon returning home, it’s not worth it. Single men can’t go to Bangkok by themselves.
This is exactly what is wrong with the thinking about Asia – the assumption that it is only P4P or that guys are looking for lub. Please. How about guys who want to party, get laid, get some value for their cash and don’t want big brother on their back. Granted guys do come here for the P4P but not only and who says people don’t have both when they are here.
It is funny to read that drivel and then to see books like this:
When Flaubert traveled to Egypt in 1849, he, along with Sir Richard Burton – easily the most interesting men in Bernstein’s book – recorded some of the most detailed, salacious and divine views of sex in the East, which still color our vision today. Flaubert adored prostitution (even in Paris!): ‒a meeting place of so many elements – lust, bitterness, complete absence of human contact, muscular frenzy, the clink of gold.” In the dancer Kuchuk Hanem, he found the soul of his East. Her vagina (not the word Flaubert used) ‒felt like rolls of velvet. . . . I felt like a tiger,” he wrote. ‒My night was one long, infinitely intense reverie. . . . Toward the end there was something sad and loving in the way we embraced.” En Égypte, Madame Bovary, ce n’est pas moi!
Burton, one of the most brilliant and romantic figures of the 19th century, conducted parallel searches for the source of the Nile and the source of Flaubert’s pleasure, not unconnected drives. While he did not quite succeed with the Nile, he did find that certain tribal slave girls made expert use of ‒the constrictor vaginae muscles,” so that a woman could induce her partner’s orgasm ‒not by wriggling and moving but by tightening and loosing the male member with the muscles of her privities.” (Now there’s a decent indecent word for us, girls!) She was known as a kabbazah, which in Arabic means ‒holder.” Holders were quite expensive. Meanwhile, of the single brutal swipe that rendered a boy a eunuch, Burton reported laconically, ‒He often survives.”
Any constrictors in Bkk?
47 Responses to “Gum”
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@Robert - I concur, Pink tartan shorts? I only hope they're properly t...
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The Man - Usual story, every time Id meet her, Id show up a vodka soak...
The titty bars in CA are the worst…first, they are over-priced, second, the tarts are usually meth-addled skanks with 4 kids and even less education. Third, they arent naked..all you see is a g-string..muffin top, usually and some saggy titty that a host of whipper snappers has already sucked most of the life out of. Lastly, you cant drink in those bars. Now..head to places like Dallas, Texas..Miami, FL or even Sauget, IL..and you will find loads of fun.
Sure..life in Thailand is nice, but you make it sound like life in the US is so terrible..and this is utterly wrong. It is NOT hard to get laid there..in fact, it is rather quite easy, but one must have some sort of ability in being able to pick up women while Thailand is the easy way out. Dont get me wrong..it’s incredible, but it also dulls one’s skills at picking women up.
And, let’s be honest..California is a damn fine place. From the Napa Valley to San Diego..it’s hard to beat that state for the amount of things that are on offer.
View all comments by Indu WangZi
Gum?!? but you don’t live in singapore! you’ve forgotten the tastes of In-N-Out, Taco Bell, Krispy Kreme (okay, the Taco Bell might just be me)?!? Gum?!
View all comments by generous sponsor
i – I did not say us was terrible. I was born and raised in cali. I love it but the taxes, the biz climate, and the big brother thing is getting a bit much.
sure u can score there but it is not the same as asia – not even close.
anyway. good points and I am not bashing. just looking at both sides.
View all comments by sideshowBOB
You would think more girls would be constrictors since it seems like something they could easily learn to do. I’ve only had one real constrictor since I’ve been here. It was at Love Boat massage. Skillful young gal and now that I think about it I can’t believe she’s the only one. I’ve actually had a few constrictors in the US so for me the west leads the east. Welcome back btw
View all comments by pmmp
@SSB “My biggest beef about Thailand is the tax on real bikes”
Almost all big bikes are imported, and taxed like mad – usually cost about twice as much as in the USA.
Kawasaki is now selling big bikes that are made here. They have 3 different 250cc models for 150k baht. They sell 2 versions of a 650cc, starting at 225k out the door, legal plate and book.
Those are real enough to get you in trouble
View all comments by Dilligaf
Acquiring ’skills’ to pick up women seems like a complete waste of time. Men certainly have better things to do with their time than to learn to interpret body language, when no means yes, and crap like that.
By the way, people actually do read garbage like AskMen? I can’t remember the last time I read dating advice online, when I watched a TV show, or when I had to go for an oil change.
But then, I live in Asia… and somehow have to find room in my calendar for 5 (non pro) girls this week. Just received a booty call SMS a few minutes ago – and seriously thinking of skipping office for a quick afternoon roll in the hay.
BTW what is PUA?
View all comments by Julian
And BTW, girls from the Indonesian island of Madura are famous for their constrictor skills. Supposedly moms teach their daughters when they turn 14, using batons. I’ve heard it often enough so I don’t think it’s a fabrication.
View all comments by Julian
California is not so bad. I have been living here for 20 years. I Make all my money here, and spend half my year hanging in Thailand.
Both places have there ups and downs. Bangkok certainly has cuter Girls, a crazy lifestyle, and general wackiness. California has Mexican food, NFL and much better drugs.
I like both = variety is the spice of life!!!
View all comments by Radicalron
Yea it’s easy to rag on life in the USA, I do it constantly
Wangzi- its easy to pick up chicks in the US these days? Whats the point? Whenever I spend time in the US (mostly NY) women there are loud, abrasive, and very frustrated. You can tell a lot of them would be good to go but you would have to listen to them yap yap yap all night first. After 15 years in Asia I’ve gotten older but the tarts are all still in their 20’s. We going to have the same luck chasing 20 year olds around in the US? No thanks.
View all comments by datou
There is the famous ‘Gum’ shopping emporium on Red Square of course – most shoppers there look like they would rather be in Thailand too
View all comments by doctorbond
i saw the title and enthusiastically clicked expecting to read something about geriatric blowjobs. boy was i disappointed.
i miss the suburban sacto strip clubs. they always attracted the highest quality clientèle. also loved how all the girls seemed to study the same thing at sac state.
constrictors- if anyone is interested in teaching their girl how to do this try this. page 54 http://books.google.com/books?id=uoQZlPSTllsC&pg=PA56&lpg=PA56&dq=pussy+constriction&source=bl&ots=eYQE1Av9nN&sig=AXdKKyqyJPINnvJJKH6xlTWlTnA&hl=en&ei=N4xASo6wGMGCkQXr_eVi&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=5
i had a malaysian girl that could constrict and it felt like i stuck my dick in a pool drain only with less drowning. it’s definitely something every man should experience.
View all comments by UnCochinoWetback
When you have the cash flow and the cum flow, anyplace is good.
View all comments by JJ
Hi to all. First time I’ve posted on here. Just a few random thoughts and reflections on SSB’s post. Before I go on, I just want to say that I’ve been living in Thailand for 15 years. Have lived in Phuket but now divide my time betweem Pattaya and Bangers.
Was over in the US 3 years ago on a work commitment – Gulf of Mexico – and spent a few days in Galveston. Friendly people and, as SSB mentions, cheapest shopping I’ve seen anywhere (particularly computer stuff at places like office depot and best buy)
Went out one night to a strip club, with a local we befriended,located on the outskirts of town. Had to bring your own booze (put a dozen beers in an ice cooler) and it cost 20 bucks to get in. There was a raised platform – something similar to the go-go bars of Thailand with a few chrome poles. About 20 girls – most of them way overweight – who’d get on stage and do a 10 – 15 minute routine. All of them stripped off completely. Only one of them was what I called hot – a blonde that was slim with a big pair of tits. The only money they made was from the oglers who’d stand right at the edge of the raised platform and get a couple of minutes viewing of close up pussy as these babes were on their backs with their legs spread. The oglers would then put a few notes up on the edge of the platform and then go back to their beers. It was a look but don’t touch policy in the strip club. You could get a personal lap dance for 30 bucks in a private booth. The local guys thought it was as good as it gets – poor bastards need to travel a bit more. The point is that we don’t realise how lucky we are until we go back to the ‘real world’ and see the sort of lame shit that the average guy has to put up with.
Regarding the judgemental, pre-conceived ideas that people have about Thailand. When I’m outside Thailand and somebody asks me where I live I just tell them I live in Australia. I really can’t be arsed with all the stupid questions – particularly from whiskey tango females – that I get subjected to. When guys, who’ve never been there, ask me now what it’s like in Thailand I just tell them it’s pretty boring and not much different to the western world. My attitude is fuck em, if they really want to know they can go there themselves and find out. Just like all of us had to.
View all comments by MEGA
Regarding pre-conceived views on Thailand. I am now a proud ‘Father’, so being responsible, I wanted to take out Life Insurance. Filled in all the forms, where I have travelled to etc.
I then received a letter from the Life Insurance company, saying that because I have spent 200 days in Thailand over the last 5 years, I have to have an HIV test & Hepatitus C test. I also stated the travelling to Vietnam, Sri Lanka etc. I took the tests no problem, but have cancelled the life insurance policy with the company, because of labelling Thailand a hot bed of HIV, & me a sex tourist! I have more chance of catching HIV from the Crack Whores in Nottingham!
View all comments by AUK
d – yes. I have test rode the d tracker. the bigger ones they have are street bikes and not my thing. I want my gs1200 back.
j – pick up artist.
guess I need a field trip
rr – once again. not saying it is bad and my guess is that if u did not have the long breaks in thailand u would not like it as much. cali is great. just wait until the air resources board requires nitrogen filled tires from 2010 on.
un – they used to be great but 3 of them have closed and most have moves to city limits. none of them are as good as they used to be. there were times it seemed u could find half the cheer leading squad working on amateur nights.
nice book. need to read up on PMT
jj – sure. it is always about money and if u are loaded even monaco seems like happy hunting grounds. being a mere mortal though I will settle for asia.
mega – seattle used to have some of the BYPB strip clubs was fun. yeah – seeing the hotties nude used to drive me mad. then I had a trip to KL and hooked up in the beach club. after that I was off strip clubs except for a few in atlanta with booze, hotties and 10 nude lap dances.
auk – are they in the pubs?
View all comments by sideshowBOB
SSB – We don’t have pubs in England no more. Just supermarkets, chubby f*****s & chavs. And crack whores.
View all comments by AUK
As SSB says, there ain’t really a hell of a lot back in the ‘real world’ that’s worth going back for. More to the point, once you’ve been living in Thailand/S.E. Asia for a while, why would a bloke want to. I’ve just hit fifty. If I tried cracking on to a 20 year old back in Oz I’d get called a pervert and, maybe, arrested. Not so in the LOS. At the end of the day though I guess it’s all relative. If you’re a young bloke back in farangdom, you’ll still get the young pussy. Living in Thailand is definitely a better option for us older fellows.
I caught the asian bug when first ventured up this way thirty years ago. Didn’t make it to Thailand that time cause I was a mad keen surfer and spent most of my time in Indo. Met one of those Madura birds on Legian Beach – she was hawking the fork – and, as luck would have it, she was one of those constrictors (I called her the gripper)
Had about 10 days with her and it was some of the best shagging I’ve had. Those Indo birds are pretty good. Picked up another one at the Ipanema Bar at Orchard Towers about three years ago and she had the corkscrew method of ’smoking’ down to a fine art.
You read a lot of shit on some of the other blogs about how Thailand’s going to the dogs but the fact is, if you take everything into consideration, it’s still the best place to live.
Because of my job I get to travel a lot and I can say with assurance that there’s some real friggin’ shit holes out there. Been to some pretty wild places over the years. Lots of oil towns with plenty of ‘working girls’ – Dubai, Baku, Shekou (China), Labuan. None of those places are as remotely good as Thailand. Dubai used to be good – lots of mainland Chinese and Ukrainian girls but pricey as well – until they shut down Cyclone night club.
Haven’t had a white woman now for nearly twenty years, they just don’t do it for me any more. The ozzie birds especially – I call them blokes with tits. They’re too fixated on trying to compete with the men, or prove themselves better. One of the funniest things I ever saw – when you talk about white birds lording over their husbands – was down in Singapore back in the early nineties. The reason I remember it so well was that it involved one of Australia’s most high profile sporting couples. I think it was just after the Barcelona Olympics. I was was walking down Orchard Road and coming towards me was a fairly well built, tanned, blond guy struggling under the weight of a dozen hefty shopping bags. It was none other than one of Australia’s sporting icons and surf life saving legend; Grant Kenny. The cunt that was striding out 5 meters ahead of him, carrying nothing, was his Mrs; Lisa Curry Kenny. I think it was at that moment I became a confirmed appreciator of the Thai version of womanhood.
View all comments by MEGA
@ MEGA … “Hi to all. First time I’ve posted on here”
ermmm… that’s excluding your previous post then?
View all comments by doctorbond
I stand corrected. Short term memory loss I’m afraid.
View all comments by MEGA
I have a few friends who are full or part time dancers here in the states. Turns out it’s a VERY recession sensitive business. I guess the pole dancer section of the budget is one of the first to get cut, and the girls are hurting. Can’t say I’m too disappointed all the time, as this makes my employed self that little bit more hansum, but it’s tough on the girls.
View all comments by Scampering Jack Wilshere
Me too MEGA – I can remember why I’m porking… just not ‘who’ – she will have told me her name at some point but something in my brain just ignores the information – I guess when your grey matter is diminishing you become more selective about what you retain.
I haven’t been completely won over – still fancy the occasional whitey… but not whales obviously…
View all comments by doctorbond
horrible is the plight of the recession affected pole dancer. i would feel sorry for them but i still have a grudge against a few clubs for not letting me pay for lap dances with rolled stacks of quarters and nickels.
SSB- i absolutely miss the liquor marts in cali. i really miss the few occasions when you walk into a stockton liquor store at midnight in the middle of a robbery. do you know if the flag city near thornton is still there?
do they still sell the cigarette gum in stores? the ones you can buy in packs and puff and all the sugar flies off like cigarette smoke? or the gum with the juice inside? or the mexican gum thats been sitting in the back of some room for 20 years that cracks your teeth when you try to chew it?
speaking of bikes, has anyone seen the new schwinn bikes? they are sexy as shit.
View all comments by UnCochinoWetback
welcome back SSB .
“rural no cal”. is that like pleasanton ?
speaking of gum , have u tried trident splash ? addictive .
let me report that my “commute” (walk) home from “work” tonight involved a stroll down the north of lumphini park . for the FIRST time, a couple (of the
gals I saw spoke to this farang looking to make “friends”. how bad r things, anyway ?
View all comments by jack dawson
The strip clubs in California are regulated at the county level, which means that the strip clubs in Sacramento have different rules than the strip clubs in Hollywood. Some counties are better than others. But none of them have girls with numbers you can take home!
View all comments by Red Barron
Personally i have had a mixed but mostly crap experience of the P4P scene in the UK. I have lived in places from Bournemouth on the south coast, to London, in the North – Manchester and also Aberdeen.
Manchester i got my wallet stolen by some Manckie crack Whore in a alley during what i thought was a bit of fun together, in Aberdeen i found a massage parlour – newly opened back then, i picked a girl from a line-up down stairs, paid £90 for the hour, once upstairs it was a further £50 minimum for a shag, 1 cum and that’s yer lot mate! And the massage, well, absolute shite.
Then there’s Thailand, ahhhhhhh <—-long relieved sigh as i exhale!
For the same £140 (price for 1 hour in UK) i can have 3 nights of hot LT sex anything i want from those cute sexy Thai girls.
Compared with the whore back in the UK of which i could only fuck her the way she wanted, no anal, no BJ without condom, and it was a case of getting me to cum as quick as possible, the Thai girls are so much better on average, you get so much more for your money.
Aside from the P4P scene, for me – Thailand offers me a life so different to the UK, so much healthier, i eat less shit, i eat more veggies and the fruit is sumptuous unlike Tesco or Asda unripe crap.
I drink more water and feel so much better, alive ! So Thailand for me represents a pretty good life in so many ways, yea sure there are the niggling aspects of Thai psyche, attitudes and sometimes – dumb ass ways, “bottom line” – i prefer Thailand to the UK.
2 things i miss about the UK compared with Thailand is cow milk, and decent Pasta dishes lol. Can’t seem to find decent Bolognaise or Lasagna in BBK or anywhere in Thailand so far.
Anyone know any great Italian restaurants in or around Sukhumvit or Samui?
View all comments by Eddie T
Here I was, planning on picking up a nice bottle of Patron for you when I visit, but if you’d rather have some gum, far be it from me to question your preference…
Pmmp, you don’t have to worry, you’re still getting your scotch, unless you’d rather have something else. Maybe some corn nuts?
I had some sour apple Big League Chew last week. Good stuff.
View all comments by fender
I live in Nevada where we have legalized prostitution (only in rural counties) and topless bars with plenty of booze flowing. Still a waste of money. At the cathouses, you can talk them down from $1000 an hour (seriously) to about $250-300, but the “pornstars” always want at least $500. Some are pornstars I’ve heard of but most are either washed up and used to have a name in the biz, or some B-rate porn chick. And the level of performance is not up to Asia standard. Not even close!
I pulled a pretty hot 30 yr old black girl out of Goldfinger Strip Club in Reno a few months ago. Got a few lapdances from her and we made a little deal after hours. Gave her $200 for her to come to my house and have a shag, which was pretty damn good, actually. Had her over again a few weeks later. We developed what I thought was a bit of a friendship. She got herself in a bind (don’t strippers always seem to do that?) and called me from the airport needing $30 for a bus ticket back up to Tahoe (recession sensitive biz, yep). Went over on my lunch hour and dropped off the $30 for her like a fool. Haven’t heard from her since, but $30 isn’t gonna kill me, and she made life in mundane Reno, Nevada a little more interesting for a minute.
Just returned from a month in SE Asia and I’m missing it again already.
Speaking of missing things, do you fellow Americans in LOS ever find yourself missing a real pizza? I know, it’s technically Italian, but pizza here just kicks ass. When I lived in Phuket a few years ago, there were days where I would’ve killed someone for a large Round Table Pizza, or some NY style slices. I cannot find real pizza in Thailand. Some places were OK, like this place in Kata Beach called Capradiccio or something like that. Ronny’s on Soi 4 is OK if you’ve been in Thailand for a month and just HAVE to have a fucking pizza.
View all comments by IrishLager
mega – gripper. priceless.
un – my parents are way north of sacto so that whole area u talk off I have not been to in years. Thank god.
jd – lumpini. get in there. I still cant bring myself to pull the trigger.
rb – they are all full nude but none of them have booze. however there are like 3 less than there used to be. the recession is pummeling them.
eddit – there are tons of awesome italian places in bkk. tons.
fender – patron it is. or a slice of caesars. u choose.
irish – ronnys? are u kidding. avoid it like the plague.
http://blog.durianseed.com/?p=15
View all comments by sideshowBOB
We’ll take the Patron to Caesars…
View all comments by fender
From jack Dawson: “rural no cal”. is that like pleasanton ?”
I grew up in Pleasanton, 1965-1982, what a small world.
I am only a tourist in Thailand and have only been out of California for 35 days at the most, but what I miss, is: The weather, Coastal Ventura County, it doesn’t get any better than this; Mexican food; Diet Dr. Pepper; Pancakes; girls. Girls may be an odd choice but I would bet in the 18-20 year old category that they are as good if not better looking here, than in Thailand. The variety is also better here. The big difference is that leering at them here makes me a pervert whilst banging them in Thailand makes me normal.
View all comments by Nedword
SSB,
Agreed. I’ve only had it once for a reason. Ronny’s is the first place that came to mind since I’ve walked past it more than any other pizza joint, other than that Big Bully’s place ( I think that’s the name) that’s about on par with Ronny’s.
View all comments by IrishLager
“but I would bet in the 18-20 year old category that they are as good if not better looking here (in California), than in Thailand.”
i’ll take that bet
View all comments by jack dawson
SSB – Highway 50? Ouch. I’m guessing it was somewhere near the Rancho Cordova area.
I’ve only been to one strip joint in the Sacto area, and it was on the way to Reno for my bachelor party. It was bad, real bad. Big heffers.
The strip club in Reno for the bachelor party was ok but my friends laid out a pile of cash for me to go in the back room with the girl of my choice. All she did was stroke my cock a few times. On my last night of freedom.
At the time it was a bit disappointing but now after living in Asia for 7 years, thinking back, it is just depressing.
View all comments by WPD
@fender: Do they make Nyquil/Dayquil in a flavored gum yet? If so, I’ll take a case of that.
@IrishLager: Yes, miss the real NY Pizza but some decent one’s around as ssB pointed out.
View all comments by pmmp
To Doc Bond – I know what you mean re not remembering the birds names. After a few years here it all becomes a bit of a blur. Have to admit I’ve slowed right down now compared to a few years ago when I first hit Pattaya. I was never much of a night owl, more of an early bird. Used to spend a good bit of time time down at the Belgium Embassy (the welcome Inn) which normally opens at about 10.30 am. Good spot for a breakfast blow job. Some of the girls there are pretty good at team work – maybe not as good as Eden but if you’re doing a threesome you don’t get the situation of one hiding in the toilet while the other does the business.
Got myself a regular now that’s a bit of a hottie and an expert ball sucker so I’m content to stick with her for a while. She’s a bit of a smart cookie and knows the score when I travel off to work. Knows the scene down in Singapore (the four floors of whores) and places like Songkla and Had Yai.
Was down in Had Yai about 2 months ago and managed to get out and about without the girlfriend cottoning on to it. There’s a couple of places down there worth checking out – although it’s mainly the Asian and Thai scene. There’s a G-Lounge there called Barberry that’s got a few good lookers. I was out with a bunch of work mates and we ended up at a Thai bar called the ‘Ice Bar’ – it’s bloody freezing. We were the only farangs in there and we ended up with the dancing girls that work there(probably because they knew we’d be good for a few drinks). Fuck me can they knock it back. I ended up shagging one that was from Nong Khai – bit of a dud root. Makes me wonder if the babes that work in the farang bar scene are better shags than the ones in the Asian and Thai scene.
If anyone’s going to Had Yai, I can highly recommend the massage at the All Seasons Hotel (just around the corner from the Pink Lady). Get an oil massage ask for number 40 – she massaged my dick and balls for about 30 minutes straight.
Enjoy.
View all comments by MEGA
@Fender – nothing wrong with Patron, but if you get a chance check out Trago. I’m a tequila drinker and it’s the best I’ve ever had.
View all comments by Scampering Jack Wilshere
yeah fender – bring trago then – that should impress the c girls
View all comments by sideshowBOB
Yeah, reverse culture shock can be a bitch. I only travel back to the States on biz: if in San Francisco, I visit friends and gorge on Mex and esp Centro Americano food…UCW knows what I’m talking about. A huge El Salvadoran tamale, chile relleno de carne (NO cheese in that thing), pupusas, frijoles y plantains y crema…and I haven’t even gotten off 24th Street yet.
Anywhere else, always a chance of sterile bland “you LIVE there?!” rubbish. I miss riding my Honda 1100 Shadow over Twin Peaks. And the comida, did I mention that?
As for pussy-grippers, the gals at the Pink Lady in Hat Yai are trained by someone. I’ve had two or three milk me dry, and yes, it’s something everyone should experience at least once. Damn. Maybe Young Penfold can set up a special class at his gym or something. Any gal who develops a rep for exercising and using THOSE muscles will be popular.
JtB
View all comments by Jack the Bat
The only thing I miss from my old life in Los Angeles is Baja Fresh, and their Baja Shrimp Tacos and mango salsa….. God that was good. Will be back in August. Raised in Cali, I just have to scratch that Mexican food itch once and a while.
View all comments by I Phukit
SJW/SSB: thanks for the tip on Trago. I’ll keep my eyes peeled.
Pmmp: same goes for the nyquil gum.
JtB: a search of “Kegel” on Amazon turns up 44 “health and personal care” items and 7,906 books. A couple of them must be translated into Thai…
If I were to leave SoCal, I’d miss, among other things:
-Year-round surfing
-Year-round golfing
-Cut, Mastros, El Coyote, Patina, King Taco, In-n-Out & Tommy’s
-Living in a desert (i.e. no mosquitos or 3 inch long flying fucking cockroaches)
-90 minute drives to Santa Barbara wineries, 60 minute flights to Napa
-60 minute flights to skiing in Tahoe, 45 minute flights to gambling in Vegas
-Riding to the Rock Store
-Oh yeah family and friends
As for girls: sure, non-p4p sex is indeed a lot more, um, entangling. Since I usually don’t spend my time in BKK pursuing non-p4p girls, this is a wash for me. As for p4p girls, particularly Asians, sessions here are very easy to come by, if more expensive. You won’t find many of the bells and whistles (fl bars, bj bars, fishbowls, popping balloons with blowdarts, etc)(and believe me, I love the bells and whistles), but if you want to lay some pipe on a smokin’ LBFM, you shouldn’t have to try too hard! There’s no bargain basememt, though, and 5’s cost the same as the 9’s.
View all comments by fender
whilst on the subject, can anyone please enlighten me on the subject of bike pricing / taxes in thailand? Hoping to get myself a set of 2 wheels in the next couple of months, but not really keen on the idea of one of those run-of-the-mill khii nok 20-50k beasts. Am i right in thinking you pay big bucks for anything over say 250cc? thanks!
View all comments by Mr Carpet
mr c -anything over 250cc is money. there are lots of used bikes though and some guys like kawasaki are locally assembling some bikes that alleviate some of the taxes. they have some 250 and 600.
View all comments by sideshowBOB
You can find second hand bikes for a good prices, if you don’t need a new one.
My faithful cb750 did cost me 60,000THB with green book and everything. Ok, she’s thirty years old, but i’m riding it for nearly two years, and never had any real problem, only minor electric issues… (15k paid over two years on fixing, including 9k for a new pair of michelin)
You can also find a newer cb400 for a similar price.
View all comments by Louk
ssB and Louk – thanks for the info. Im fine with the idea of getting a second hand bike and think that might be the way to go. I was just worried that maybe the pricing worked out similar to how it does for second hand cars (ie way over priced relative to new). cheers
View all comments by Mr Carpet
Am eyeing a return to UK in December for Christmas
I do miss……
Friday night 5-a-side football
Punchups with people who ARE NOT Bangkok taxi drivers
Ribena
Pizza Express
Walking on carpet
My rich mother
My even richer Grandmother
Neither of the fuckers giving me a single penny anymore
Not being the only white guy or a mile around
Lamb
Dogshit English TV (Big brother, Eggheads, The Apprentice)
White girls with thick thighs and huge tits
Marmite
65 quid for 5kg of protein powder
Fosters on tap (gay)
People NOT staring at my cock in the gym showers
Ill update you as and when I think of anything else
View all comments by Young Penfold
Bombay BadBoy Pot Noodles (despite the MSG and Carbs)
1quid fifty for a Cornona in Whetherspoons
Topman
Being called a cunt in a language I can understand
TopGear
Asda
Gingerbread
Fatgirls
Deep Heat/Last nights beer/cocks/arse/last night vodka/week old football boots/shinpads in the changing rooms at 230pm on a Saturday
Drinking from the tap
Cocopops
Niece & Nephew
Earning a salary
Pedestrian crossing that are adhered to
My $2000 matress (No GBP sign on this keyboard)
Vimto
Pork Scratchings
NOT being the strongest guy at the gym
NOT being the youngest, most hansum man in any given bar
Tesco cooked chickens
Cold rain
Not having to pony up for ‘taxi money’ the morning after
View all comments by Young Penfold
I looked into bringing over my R1’s.
- Silly money to import. The tax was the purchase price equivalent.
Just not worth it.
A tricked out 250 D-Tracker is worth a punt I think. Riding a proper bike in Bangers… foooook that.
YP… you are such a Chav!!!
View all comments by Daywalker