So, let’s say you’re a regular visitor to Thailand, but you’re still cashing your U.S. paycheck.  You get to go to Disneyland twice, maybe three times a year.  You’ve been thinking about making The Move, but with the real estate market sucking up the equity in your condo, the stock market sucking up the value of your portfolio, and your company’s stock options underwater, early (voluntary) retirement isn’t looking likely.  The job market isn’t exactly sunshine and light either, at least not from the candidate’s point of view, so you’re not likely to find a job in Asia that some laid-off schmo wouldn’t undercut you for.  So, for the time being, you’re staying Stateside.

Now, let’s say you just got back from your latest 3 week jaunt to Bangkok.  Or Hong Kong, or Manila or Singapore or Seoul or wherever it is you went on your Asia p4p binge.  It’s a real effort, and a lot of money, to get to these places, so you stay as long as you can, and now you’re out of vacation days.  So what’s the first thing you do on your return home?  Well, duh, you go online and book your next trip.  Let’s see, 6, 8 months out, you can work in a 10 day stay.  Cool.  Okay, found my date, 7 months out.  That’s 31 weeks.  214 days.  Shit.  Is there anything more depressing than those first few weeks back?  How the fuck are you going to get through 214 days?

Can you find a time to work in a quick trip?  Forget it.  It takes 20 hours to get there and 20 hours to get back.  That’s 2 whole days, a whole weekend’s worth of travel right there.  Boss Man won’t allow it.

Well, can you take a sick day?  Do you get Memorial Day or July 4th off?  Cause if so, you can hop on a flight to San Jose, Costa Rica and, in about 3 to 6 hours (depending on where you live in the U.S.), book yourself into the Hotel Del Rey, and spend a long weekend in what is basically a Central American version of the Nana Hotel.  This country, a northern, western hemisphere neighbor of America, does a pretty good job of keeping the visiting punters satisfied.  It doesn’t replace Asia for me, but it certainly satisfies the craving.  Like a nicotine patch, I guess.  It’s a good analogy: CR girls are called ‒ticas”, and a lot of girls from nearby Nicaragua (called ‒nicas”) come over to ply their trade too.  So it’s a nica-tica patch.  (I’m so freakin’ witty, I don’t know how the panties stay on when I’m around.)

I just got back from my first visit, and it was rock solid.  I got most of my pre-trip data from the website costaricaticas.com, which has a lot more info than I can possibly give here, and fully prepared me for what to expect.

First, there are lots and lots of MPs, and if you see a girl you like you can bang her now or take her to your hotel:

Bugs: ‒Would you like to bang me now or wait ’till we get to the hotel?”
Daffy: ‒Bang her now, bang her now.”
Bugs: ‒Be quiet.  He doesn’t have to bang you now.”
Daffy: ‒Well I say he DOES have to bang me now, so bang me now!

(like I said, witty!  Panties!)

There are also strip clubs and discos, which I didn’t get to, but looks like a lot of p4p happens there too.  Many of the strip clubs have bedrooms for rent.  Sounds kinda like a go-go, but I hear it’s a lot pricier.

And there are pick-up bars, where the working girls gather.  These are FL bars, pure and simple.  They might as well be lifted right out of Bangkok.  The Blue Marlin Bar in the Hotel Del Rey is one, but there are several congregated in the ‒Gringo Gulch” area, and all over town.  Sportsman’s Lodge is another, right nearby, where a lot of expats and visitors gather (one told me it was the punters’ frat house).  These places have lots and lots of girls, and a solid 3:1 ratio at least.  If you’re staying in the Del Rey, you can take the elevator down, grab someone, and go back up. 24/7.  If not staying there, hop in a cab from and to your hotel.

So here are some differences between CR and Asia (BKK primarily), and whether they’re a negative or a positive:

-The girls: they’re Latinas.  Double duh.  More like J-Lo than Girly Berry.  Bigger butts, bigger tits.  Some are part Asian.  I liked the Colombianas the best, but I didn’t have a statistically significant sample.  I think the ratio of girls with kids is higher than I’ve experienced in Asia, but some of the CR girls with kids were so tight and flawless you’d never know the difference.  Girls who have kids at 16 seem to be able to get their bodies back into pretty good shape by the time they’re 18, and they probably don’t even need to do any non-bedroom related exercising!  Personally, I like Asian girls better than Latinas in general, but there are some Latina looks I’m crazy for (Thalia, for example), and others not so much (such as Selena).  Also, some bars, including the Blue Marlin at the Del Rey, are open 24 hours and always have girls available.  Obviously a positive.

-The travel: definite positive.  5 hour flight for me.  Same as going coast to coast.

-Accommodations: not as good as BKK.  This is a much smaller city.  You won’t find a Westin, Marriott or Hyatt in Gringo Gulch, and there aren’t that many uber-nice hotels outside the Gulch either.  Also, the best hotels aren’t necessarily guest-friendly.  There are lots and lots of very nice smaller hotels, though, with free breakfasts and friendly, attentive staff.

-The cost: well, the airfare is lower, and the hotels are roughly the same price for the same quality.  Short-time sessions cost around $60-$100, but the per-hour cost is higher, because sessions are generally 1 hour as opposed to 2 in BKK.  It’s all subject to negotiation, of course, but long-time initial quotes (called ‒toda la noche”, Spanish for ‒all night”) were $250-$300.  Booze, food and taxi costs are about the same.

-The sessions: while all sessions are YMMV, I think there’s less of an ingrained GFE attitude in CR than in Thailand, so this is a negative.  In BKK, you make a deal with a girl, and there’s a good chance she’ll act like she’s in love with you (no guarantee, of course).  In CR, it was a bit more business-like, but this could be a result of my not knowing the ropes in a new culture.  I plan on going back, so time will tell…  Reading the internets, it sounds like there’s lots and lots and lots of GFE in CR too.  You have to put more thought into negotiating up front for what you want, though.

-On the plus side, getting a porn star 3-way seems to be WAAAAY easier in CR than BKK.  In Thailand, girls who do a lesbian show at a go-go won’t necessarily recreate it for you in your hotel.  In CR, it seemed like it’s pretty much understood that if you’re taking 2 girls to your room, girl-on-girl comes standard.  At least that’s how it turned out for me.  This is a DEFINITE positive.

-On the whole, the attitude towards p4p seems to be much closer to Asia than America, especially in the gray areas.  Y’all know what I mean: SSB & the others have written about it time and time again, so I won’t rehash, but it’s a poor country where people are doing what they need to do to help themselves and their families, so short-term ‒dating” of non working girls can easily happen, as long as you have some rapport, the girl has something to show for her time and she saves enough face to not look like a total ‘ho to her friends and families.

-Safety: everyone says not to walk around outside at night, which you don’t have to do as there are taxis everywhere anyway.  But there’s no Miracle Mile.  Always be smart.

-Expats & fellow punters: every gringo I met was very, very friendly, welcoming and willing to share their knowledge (as were all the Costa Ricans, for that matter).  The punting community is definitely a family here, as it is in Asia.

-Attitude.  Summed up by the saying ‒pura vida”, which basically is the Spanish equivalent of the mai ben rai attitude.  Enjoy life and celebrate.  In bed.  For money.

Like I said, it’s a great way to spend a few days, or longer.  A lot of folks have been to both and prefer CR to Asia.  I’m only dealing with the mongering here, obviously, but I’m told that there’s great fishing, hiking and golf, there are casinos, and they get all the NFL, NBA and MLB games at regular times!  I’m already planning my next trip!