Big Mango Bar
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Toilet door’s read, Taco’s or Burritos. Which door do you take? by: ROLLN

Posted by ROLLN | Blog, Reader Submissions | Posted on September 27th, 2011

I had wanted to do more of an informative piece on Tijuana. But it turns out I’m not very good at that, and it was just fucking boring. So I threw in a smattering of my usual hijinks. The info is all in there. I decided it was time for a TJ trip. If I would have planned a little ahead tickets could be had round-trip for $175 but now 4 days away there $300.

I establish a few trip rules for myself. No bareback, No Mexican pussy eating, No vitamins, No 3 day lock-ins with girls on vitamins. No fighting in MX. Ok, Ready for action.  For a back drop I want to say I learned recently that some of my English & Aussie friends had no idea about the drug war going on in Mexico. Put it this way, statistically you are safer in Baghdad or Kabul. I think Tijuana had 2700 murders in 2009 and in Juarez the other big border town they have had at least 7 murders per day for years. It’s mostly drug gangs killing other drug gangs or drug gangs killing the police. But in some towns the entire police force has been killed. Basically everyone wants control of the routes into the US. The MX Army has taken over and they are now fighting with what’s left of the police. But for the most part foreigners are not involved unless they got “involved”. Stay near the other mongers and you will be fine.  I arrive in SD alone and I have a friend pick me up, haven’t seen him since he walked out of Rainbow 4 grinning three months ago. He takes me to get a room on Pacific Coast Highway downtown SD for $95. I also reserve a room for my buddy who is coming on a later flight. I meet him at the car rental counter and start driving south and pick up another buddy near the border. Popped some Kamagra as we drove to Mexico and parked in a big lot right at the border. You are not allowed to take rentals into Mexico. I would never take my cars into MX, I have done it in the past but not now. Usually your Insurance is void once you cross that border and you are a huge target for the police to make a few dollars. In the car everyone divides up there cash and stashes their reserve in their shoe. This is more of a precaution for corrupt cops then for a robbery.

We start walking.  It’s very strange being in SD, which is one of America’s nicest cleanest city’s and basically going through a hole in the fence and all of a sudden you’re in Patpong. You walk past about 25 fully armed border guards on the American side. They’re all giving us the stink eye. To our right there is a bus pulled over full of Mexicans and everyone is getting their processions ran through all over the sidewalk. Only two things are smuggled into Mexico, money & guns.

Walk through the turnstile and you’re in Mexico. No customs, no passport check, no nothing. Walk down the alley, and there is 3 hotties in string bikinis and heels handing out fliers for discos. Right behind them there are yellow taxis lined up. No pestering, it was all pretty smooth. Taxi wants $5 to go to the red light district of Zona Norte. Sometimes they want $8 and if you’re not with anyone that looks possibly Mexican it may be $10.  We tell him to take us to Club Hong Kong. It’s the biggest of the Strip clubs. It was renovated recently and is about 4 times the size now. It is open 24-7, it never closes! We walk straight in. The cover is $4 and they hand you an unopened beer at the door. It has a few levels with clear floors, kind of looks like a large cross between Bacarra/Tilac and Spicy. Strange but mildly accurate. It was packed with customers and girls. We get a seat but it’s got too many dudes standing around our table and blocking us. We move upstairs, get more beers and shots of Cazadores tequila. I think the shots were $8 but were a decent size. We start watching the girls in every direction. They set the stage on fire for a show down stairs. Then they did a whip cream show, and girls eating cream off each other in lesbo acts. We returned back down stairs. We drink some more beers and Tequila and 3 local guys come to meet up with us.

We start looking for marks. Truth be told Latina girls are not my first choice, the Asian fetish is strong in this one! But these Mexican and El Salvadorian girlfriends I had were pretty wild. Only girls I know that eagerly took an ATM (not the money machine) and we even tazer’d each other during sex for laughs. There are plenty of girls here to find something to fit my mood. I eventually zero in on one. She is wearing a very micro black G-string and heels and a black cheongsam Chinese silk half shirt. Long straight light brown hair with blonde streaks and her bangs resting on her huge eye lashes. Nicely kept pink nails and a Lip ring & eye brow piercing. Killer hips, stomach, and ass. I said to my boy “Damn, look at that one”. He starts laughing and says that looks like a healthy morph of Look-Nam from AW and your girl Nan from R4. I guess my tastes are pretty narrow. She  sits in a seat nearby and puts her feet up on the adjacent seat looking bored. I’m trying to make eye contact with her but I can’t get her to look over. I order another beer and delay a bit and miracously she’s still there. I go over and ask her to sit with me. She gives me a big smile. We sit and I get her a drink. It was a small glass with about 4oz of beer mixed with lemonade and a salt rim for $7. She says her name is Afrika. I thought for sure i mis-heard her and my buddy’s say it’s gotta be Erika dude, Afrika no way. I find out later, her stage name really is Afrika, real name Maribel.  She has a full command of English, and even one of those classic happy singing Mexican accents. It was easy to make her laugh and it all came pretty natural. She is from Chiapas Mx, the far south and she looks indigenous Mayan, not much Euro blood in this one. She is 20 years old with no babies. That was more than obvious with her minimal attire. She asks me if I want her to dance for me. Sure,,, she starts lap dancing me for a few songs, and that Kam kicks in. Oh boy, this is going to be good. I haven’t had a girl give me a woody in go-go for a while. My boys look over at her grinding me and say you got a good one bro. I ask her if she wants to go with me. She says yeah, so we get up and head for the back door.

The door guy hands her a robe and asks me for a 1 dollar tip. I give it to him. We walk down the street only about 2 doors and walk into the short time spot. I pay $10 at the counter and get the key, lube, and three condoms. Get in the room and  recently renovated it was surprisingly really nice. I ask her if she wants to shower. She looks at me with a “what for?”. Hmm, Uh, Ok, so we strip and hit the bed, she asks me if I want it slow or fast? Then asks do I want to finish on top or bottom? Nicely done, what a pro. I then break my first rule of my trip and lick her box which is a careless idea now that I know she didn’t want to shower. But,,, Very clean, and shaven, no scent at all, and no stretched out labia’s. Inspection passed. We do the deed and I offer her $70 because the going price is $60. She says hey its $80, I hand it over. We walk out and I’m getting pestered for tips from the male maids in the hallway, I ignore them. Walk back into the club and Afrika says bye and goes in the opposite direction.

Back to our table, everyone has girls on their laps. It takes only minutes and I have another one. I’m hitting the beers pretty hard and getting really drunk. My buddy says lets go looking for Vitamin C. Rule number 2 of the trip about to be broken. We grab one of the locals and we go outside. First we stop and grab a taco from a street cart. There are plenty of freelancers holding up walls on the block in this area. Usually right in front of various short time hotels. One guy pointed us to the spot for the 2 for 1 deal’s. Kind of my thing, but I want to stay clear of the street walkers this time. Then we go to some locals bar. I have forgotten the name so many times I gave up. But I know it’s been there since the 60′s and is the spot for those who live right by the action. You can do vit C right off the bar if you want. Hanging up is pictures of Hendrix, Morrison, and Bonham in the bar (not together). Zeppelin was playing on the stereo. It’s a basement bar and we get to the top of the steps on the street and you can hear the sound of someone getting an ass kicking down stairs. Door guy tells us we  better wait a minute. We agree! A minute later were inside, can’t even tell who was fighting, I guess they got back doored, but we’re in a basement?? Anyway, we got a 32oz of beer and three glasses and downed it while our local sourced for us. He says we may have to wait a bit. He decides to do it a different way. So we walk off down one of the dark streets until we are in a pitch black ghetto, not even a soi dog in sight. This is an extremely stupid and bad idea. Someone appears out of the shadows and asks for $20. I notice my local friend hand him a $5 in exchange and we walk away. Then the guy catches up to us a few minutes later with “what fuck you trying pull on me Holmes, this is a $5″. What surprised me here is that the street guy was trying his best to speak in English to our local friend so that we “the white boys” aka “gringos” don’t get paranoid and escalate the situation. He obviously knows his customers well. I Can’t believe  our friend tried to pull that one anyway. We smooth it out and walk back to relative safety.

Our local guy splits and me and my boy go back to Hong Kong Club, straight to the toilet for a powder coating. Oh Shit, this stuff is fire! Whoa… Back to the table, just a blur of different girls coming and going and us putting drinks back. All the girls totally willing to all kinds of touching and licking. My buddies have already gone twice to my one short time. But after the intensity of the stuff we got, Its crossed my  mind that possibly I can’t perform. I’m having a good time molesting anything that comes into arm’s length. It’s now about 4:30 in the morning. We decide to head home so we stash our fire in a seat at the club. Get to the borderline, and it’s a pretty deep line. Possible 3 hours of people waiting with no place to piss. This sucks. But it gets going fast, and we are back on the US side in about 45 minutes. Customs is pretty easy.

Next day, hung over for sure. Get through the day and we are back on our way to TJ about 9pm. We take a walk down Revolucion Ave, get some food, and turn left before we wander into LB land. We go into Adelita’s. One of TJ’s oldest strip club/whore houses. It was beyond packed. There is one big dance floor in the middle of the bar, one girl at a time up there, and about 1 hundred more walking around the bar in various states of undress. There was a few guys just passed out cold right in the front row, sprawled out, no one paying them any mind. It got too crowded and we went back to Hong Kong. It was even more crowded but we got lucky with a good seat. I’m more open tonight on my choices but every time I see one I want she is gone before i can pull her over. Some girl asked me if I wanted to get some of that Evil Kinevil (frozen water) uh, no thanks… Trip rule number three completed safely. A few girls sat on my lap but nothing that really was doing it  just yet, plus a few of them couldn’t speak a word of English. I can probably speak more Spanish than Thai but I would never claim i can speak Spanish and I’m realizing with every trip to Bkk how little I know about the Thai language, yet i still claim i speak Thai.

Anyway, I spot Afrika. She comes over and I kick a girl off my lap. She says she didn’t come back last night because I had too many girls on my lap and I looked too drunk. Oh, it happens. So she sits for a while, dances for me, my boys go to short times twice but I stayed and kept drinking and visiting the toilet stall. The waiters would hardly wait for the girls to finish their drink, they are serving another one and expecting payment and a dollar tip. Annoying. This is where things start getting expensive if you’re not careful.  I want to get a room and stay with this girl tonight; I don’t feel like waiting in line at the US border all wasted again. She gets off at 4am but the girls with my friend’s don’t get off till 6am. I ask how we can fix this, ie; barfine longtime. These girls have never asked boss man before believe it or not, so they go ask and the answer is $300. Fuck That. My friend’s wanted to leave for the border. Everyone looks really concerned that I’m staying alone in TJ. I can tell this is genuine concern even from the other girls. Everyone exchanges phone numbers to quicken the process if I’m kidnapped, or in jail. My boys leave. About this time there are at least 5 dudes on stage dancing with the girls, lame… A few fights break out. Afrika goes to change and comes back in a sundress and flip flops, very cute. We take a taxi for about 5 minutes and pull up to place called La Mansion; pull into a private gate, a suit asks me for how long? I say till  tomorrow. He says it’s in 4 hour blocks. I tell him I will leave at Noon and he asks for $50. It’s kinda like one of those private short time places with the curtained garage you know as the the Playboy. But you get your own townhome with private garage. This spot is really fucking nice inside. I then remember from my last trip to bkk a guy from SD I met on Soi 4 telling me that La Mansion was the best place to station in TJ. Small world. There was a guy in the room next to mine really going for it, girls moaning for the entire time i was awake in that place. You go my dude, whoever you are!  In the room she showered me and then I caught a blowjob on the couch. After, we ordered room service, the food was really good. Had to call back to get condoms afterwards, cause she wasn’t having it bareback, I’m glad, another rule almost broken. Sex was great, total GFE. After, I passed out and then woke up in the afternoon to her snoring and my phone buzzing. Everyone wants to know if I’m OK. I wake up Afrika and get in a morning screw with a condom then a shower. I check out and taxi back to the border, I give Afrika $200.

I wait in line for about an hour at customs. I’m planning on jumping on the train right at the border to down town SD, the Blue Line. As I’m waiting in line my buddy calls and says he’ll pick me up. We are back down town SD in 25 minutes. We chat about the night before and my buddies all confirmed that the price for short time has increased from $60 to $80 across the board but one guy got it for $40.  The last night I went to see an old school punk rock show in SD. The Bed Breakers & The Penetrators. Such fitting names… Then went to a bar/disco called the Whistle Stop. There were some young university hotties in there. I wake up hung over with some locals on my hotel room floor. Hit the shower, checked out and grabbed a fish sandwich and fries down at the marina then hit the airport back home to SF.  It was good trip. It beats the time I was told I rode a mechanical bull and broke my Rolex in 3 pieces as it flew across the crowded TJ bar, and that’s why my watch is gone. Then being told I straight out handed my friend my vitamins with plain English as code and told him to hold them while I’m getting arrested, which actually worked. Knowing I got on a mechanical bull is more embarrassing than losing my watch.  So then to wrap up, the 3 nights including airfare and hotel, rental car, food, drinks, & girl. The cost is $1500 total. If I would have stayed in TJ at the La Mansion the whole time it could have been a lot cheaper, but I probably would have been more inclined to get more girls and hence spent more money, maybe, probably? Three Days with decent sleep and only one girl for Ole Rolln this time. I still had a great time, it can be done…  Positive affirmations.