Big Mango Bar
drink and blog

soi 4, ladyboy staffing ratios and the new and improved Big Mango – by nurseRon

Posted by nurseRon | Blog, Reader Submissions | Posted on July 4th, 2011

* eds note… wow, nurseRon has the writing bug now!  c’mon chaps, give us your tales!  All submissions greatly received. Hutch and Salty are next in line……*

It was a lazy Thai Tuesday eve around 7ish on Soi 4. Dear and I were to meet up with an old friend later and we still had some time to kill. As we sat drinking San Mig. lights from chilled bottles, yet the contents were at best indifferent, we watched the daily coronations from from our perch in Big dogs. Having had a few laughs as the last of the super stars scurried to take their marks for this nights production of NEP. we observed the early pulls beginning to trickle out escorted by sons of Nihon, with confused expressions of conquest and overloaded fanny packs bulging from what ever the fuck those dudes are toting, we knew it was time to head in or head on….

Given the night was still young, we both being barely primed, and having an open bottle in waiting, I suggested a challenge in pool and more drink and merriment at the Mango. Dear lit up with a cheerfully eager “good idea”, and a robust “Pee Ka!, check binnnKa?”. After a brief exchange with our attendant we were off to survey the extra effort terminal lap of the miracle mile? This patch of foot path holds an, at times, unsettling cosmopolitan piquancy of charm that is uniquely Soi 4! Tonight was no exception…After successfully navigating the bowls that become a semi unobstructed side walk we rounding the corner onto Soi Mango, without a head ache mind you, just a dull annoyance alike the persistent chiming tone of a door ajar warning in an American car, we sauntered past the little mom and pop bar/make shift minimart. Mushing on and to our left a platoon of masseuses’ bearing faces of tedium until they spotted our passing, and on finally across the newly created threshold of the Mango, my new Oasis!

Let me just say now; the recent transformation of the Mango has revitalized my fondness for the joint. I know I’m getting old when my gait swells and all I can wish for is a cool place to hide, with pleasant people, good food, true pool tables with straight and tipped cues and loyal servants? The Mango has not been this to me for quite some time. Before, back when the Big Mango rematerialized from the ashes of Nana plaza to current incarnation & local, I would have considered myself a distant regular at worst. Having met a few of my blogging
hero’s of old and to this day many interesting and enjoyable characters that continue to be friends and welcoming acquaintances, I’ve always regarded the Mango as a worthy out post during my lower Suk adventures. Perhaps the allure of Bangkok proper burgeoned or I simply out grew the flavor, but the Mango began to fall from my list of perspective haunts. At one point it was almost a social faux pas to admit being any where near the place? I can’t say for certain what exactly the issue was but it just became a tired and unfriendly establishment, akin to Angel Witch during your annual visit? Some of the staff were terminally of bad temperament, the interior was lacking that certain pop and the frequency of interesting residing characters waned. It nearly became more of a service call, to check in and make sure the boys were still with breath and the place still stood! I would regularly attend only the special events so as to insure seeing all the old patron crew and new blog regulars and enjoy the always jovial greetings from the management and ownership et-all!

On a few occasions I made plans to head out into the city with a member or two of the current executive branch only to find our congregation point being another near by venue of like taste and scope? But things have changed, and for the better!!! OK DW, that’s about 300 words of shameless plugging! I want my turn on the R1 bitch, and my 7th free mixer!

In all seriousness though, bravo guys and brilliant execution! The new Mango has recaptured my loyalty and I’ve really enjoyed the changes, especially the little cutie with the braces who’s name escapes me! Perhaps a friendly suggestion or two? A life size full frontal color nude promo poster of showgun with a strategically placed and rigged miniature cowboy hat sporting the Brazilian colors in the brim, wired to trigger an alarm in the bar when disturbed by a sneaky spy and to keep you company during those swollen prostate extended failure to launch sequences? We could make it the new dress code for female staff to don pigtales and clean, white Vans tennies, with roll down baby doll socks and matching cotton panties embroidered with the proper day of the week in French or phonetically transcribed Japanese directly under and gracing a freshly applied Big Mango faux lick and stick tramp stamp? And how about a thick padded PVC twister mat with perimeter Sumo salting and a big jug of Tokyo Hot/Sky Angel love goo suspended from a polished, chrome, heavy gauge chain with a dispensing pull cord fashioned into a light duty break away noose, next to a trapeez above the Wii station streaming SuzukaIshikawas’ cinematic masterpieces, circa 2009??? Ooops, sorry about that, just know that Hutch and his stockings thing aren’t the only freaky quirkster gig in town!!! Ok I’m better now. Back to my evening drivel…

We make our entrance and immediately were greeted by all on duty staff, by name and with warm smiles and a snap to attention. Before I’ve even picked a roost, my Jim Beam white, one fresh diet coke and bottle of soda water with a bucket of ice are rounding the bar heading our way. Dear makes a brisk jog for the ladies room and now her motive for such an enthusiastic escape from Big Dogs is made known. I notice the lower level pool table is in use and motion to my glowing service person that she may accompany me up stairs? She winks and motions me I’m welcome to make use of the unattended tables on level 2 as we both ascended! I lean in as we climb, to steal an innocent whiff from her raven draped nape, mmmm! I love Thailand for these little precious moments? BTW she’s the adorable, seemingly unspoken for attendant that has a war stopping angels face with braces who’s name truly escapes me. Lets call her Nicci tonight?

We both assemble at the first table and she attentively begins to pour my Jim & coke, before I can perv on her for another sample Dear crests the upper level landing and I withdraw from my lust smitten fantasy and toward the cue rack. Making my selection as I mentally returned from the pure lands of Nicci, Dear joins me at the racked and readied table and the games begin. She’s quite the player and in no time I’m down 3 games to zip! I’m now on my 5th J&DC and feeling the urge to smoke. As sweet miss Nicci racks for game 4, I excuse myself to the upper newly roofed and furnished piazza and welcome Nicci to test her skills on Dear. She accepts and I’m free to reside alone outside, admiring the birds eye view to the entrance of the short time hotel across the soi.

As take my spot I remember how entertaining this was on my last visit. To witness the endless stream of tortured souls seeking a brief interlude of solace and pleasure with an equally diverse host of technicians, eager to make their days wage and selflessly give of themselves. It was a beautiful thing and I was expecting nothing less.

As I drew my next cigarette I notice 5 figures briskly making their way into my vantage point. It was an rather unconvincing lady boy who appeared to be in need of a shave with 4 male Indian looking suitors? Now I’m no hater and if it works for you and nobody gets hurt I’m cool with what ever floats that boat? But this gaggle was too fucking funny, the quartet of Indians had posted at the front door to the hotel, while the ladyboy dude poked her head in and was in a rather animated dialog with the staffer. Ladyboy dude returned to the larger of the 4some and began an extended debate. I lit my smoke, cautiously cupping the open flame so as not to alert the party below of my peering. Perhaps they were discussing important world events or the need for pork flavored condoms, I don’t know but they went back and forth for a good 2 or 3 minutes and my cigarette was nearly done by the time an agreement was made. Before I could snub out the butt they all gestured a sigh of relief and the largest of the group gestured the smallest to join ladyboy dude and they entered and quickly disappeared from the lobby. At this point I slowly removed myself from the seat and returned inside for my drink. I looked to the table and Dear was nearly done with running out on poor sweet Nicci. I grabbed my drink motioned Dear to join me after she was finished. She knew exactly what I was doing and she immediately forfeited the game and joined me with drink in hand. Nicci looked perplexed but soon realized what we were up to and graciously began to re-rack the table as we made our escape. Dear and I carefully crept up to the edge of the pony wall and assumed our observant positions. I didn’t say a word as we both watched the 3 Indian guys waiting outside the hotel entry. A moment later the small and apparently youngest of the band emerged and gave the leader what looked to be a strip of condoms. The lead then dispensed these to one of the other guys in waiting and he ventured into the hotel alone. At this point the 3 were involved in what appeared to be an Indian flavor of props and hi 5′s? They all talked and the small guy was telling his tale. Dear and I snickered quietly as we observed. I lit another cig in same fashion and the second Indian exits and passes the pack of condoms to the next in line. At this point I’m certain Dear has surmised the activities at hand and looks to me with a surprised expression. I mouthed back she hasn’t seen anything yet but I think something was lost in translation since she just smiled and looked on toward the hotel lobby. More of the same from the Indian envoy and after a few more minutes it was the next guys turn, with condoms in hand he entered the lobby and wandered from view. At this point we were getting giddy and nearly blew our cover, a few more minutes pass and #3 returns to the group and now it’s the big guys turn. He goes in and after another few minutes returns with the now rather un-kempted (more so than before) looking ladyboy dude who’s frantically trying to adjust his attire and hair piece. At this point Dears mobile screams announcing not only an incoming call but also alerting the 5 some they’ve been seen. The 4 guys all look up in horror at Dear and I as she answers, I bust a huge smile and nod to the boys as ladyboy dude heads back to her trench for her next catch.

The Indians scurry promptly out of view and I nearly fall off my seat laughing. Dear finishes the call and looks at me with wonder, “why you laughing”. I couldn’t address her at this point but soon she recapped what we were doing and let out a resounding Ohhh! He go with many India man, na? I nearly pissed myself as did she when it was clear what was witnessed.

We returned indoors where our friend soon (a cute little Patts pole girl spinner on holiday in Bangers for the week) met up with and joined us in a 3 way rotation of some very sloppy pool. We finished Mr. Beam and cracked another and soon it was 1:45am. We all waddled back to Suk, hopped a cab to HQ in Bang Ka, and I had the girls fill the wash tub with orange colored/flavored jello and water where I went on to give the lasses a lesson in submariner jello flavored ass to mouth drills. We carried on til I lost count but I do remember having the last round finish up as a rather feeble lukewarm eye dropper load of saline that was nearly undetectable. We all reconvened at the coffee table and I demonstrated the art of burning alkaloid crystals, we bumped hard for an hour or so and did the jello exercise again. Next thing I remember is awakening alone in puddle of piss, vomit, and sticky orange shit flavored goo all on the cool tile of Dears bathroom floor!

Nah, really we all just got bombed, ate some street noodles and crashed back at the house…

Cheers!