Big Mango Bar
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A Bangkok Trip Report Part 4 by The Lurcher

Posted by The Lurcher | Blog, Reader Submissions | Posted on March 23rd, 2010

(The Bangkok Trip Report series by The Lurcher  is available here)

Ooh matron!

When I woke up in the hotel on my second day in Bangkok I ached all over. I stood naked in the full length mirror to check myself for MDIs: not a pretty sight but I couldn’t see any new bruises or abrasions. So: a fairly decent start to the day.

My head ached though and I was slightly dizzy, had a severe pain in both feet, left knee, right hip, and lower and upper back. It was fortunate I had an appointment at the hospital.  I had to forsake my usual handful of painkillers to present myself at the hospital with my ailment unmasked by the numbing pharmacopoeia I had been living with for the past few months.  The walk of pain up Soi 4 across Sukhumvit out of the manor to Soi 3 was long and onerous.  It was some small consolation I suppose that, the Bumrungrad hospital, is stacked with almond eyed beauties neatly turned out in trim green and gold tonic silk uniforms.  Yes, at the Bumrungrad there is veritable wealth of ogling tackle.  For those who ‘date’ girls on the non P4P scene the Bumrungrad is a zone rich in potential.  I have no interest in non P4P as I consider it dishonourable and for me the whole point of Thailand is P4P and all that it offers.

If anybody is thinking of going for a course of treatment at the Bumrungrad I would not recommend staying on Soi 4. A combination of the one way system and gridlocked traffic precluded rapid progress and though the walk is relatively short it seemed an eternity. That morning even the slightest movement caused me grief so the walk was indeed an agonizing chore. Nearby on Soi 3 would be a better choice of accommodation.

I must confess that although I am I am fairly inured to the indignities, and humiliations that are heaped upon hapless patients in the course of thorough medical examinations I did feel a bit sorry for myself but cheered up as I walked through the doors of the hospital and saw the ‘greeter girls.’

At the Bumrungrad the two ‘greeter’ girls are not outside the establishment but inside the building at reception and they have more clothes on than the welcome girls at establishments in Soi Cowboy or NP. These girls are usually lovely, often wearing tight silk skirts,  leather semi high heels, which as any fetishist knows keeps the calf, thigh and vaginal muscles taught and tight. This delightful assembly is topped off with flowing ebony hair falling on to semi translucent white or cream blouse. Following the girls’ directions I located my self, as I presume we all do, on that part of the escalator that enables a view up pretty girls’ skirts as the stairs move upwards.

Checking into the appointments section upstairs I try to avoid fantasizing about the body of the medical admin assistants whose ostensibly modest garb somehow manages to convey a vivid, visual sensuality. This effect is brought about by the hem of the hip length, shimmering, silk jackets just finishing over the girls’ tightly trousered buttocks thus accentuating them like two orbs of pleasure.  The jackets have, at the sides, darts beneath the armpit stretching to just above the hip thus creating a corset effect, nipping the waist and raising the breasts of the girl. This is all quite a subtle effect and required a lot of visual analysis on my part. The latter might be referred to as staring or leering: But all in a good cause. It is possible also that the array of chemicals both prescription and non prescription consumed in the previous 24 hours might have influenced my train of thought.  I bloody well hope so as they would have been a waste of money otherwise.

Advised that I had a few minutes to wait I took the opportunity to limp away and have a cup of coffee and a ham and cheese, toasted, butter croissant at the Au Bon Pain a French bakery located on the ground floor.  It cost about 150 baht: delicious, followed by some moist carrot cake. I had not bothered to eat before I set out for the Bumrungrad as I knew there are plenty of places to eat and drink around this hospital but the Au Bon Pain is my favourite. As well as Au Bon Pain there is a Starbucks; an Asian modern eatery serving Thai and Chinese food; a McDonalds; a curry house called the Bangla; Ayame, a Japanese restaurant and Sushi bar; and an Italian place named the Portofino.

It was all down hill after the croissant actually. It was a grim day.  The doctor took one look at my X ray and asked me if I had been in a car crash recently. Then I was stuck in an MRI tube for nearly an hour with my nerve trapped but not allowed to move. It was all very harrowing and I nearly lost my sense of humour.   A nurse approached me with a clipboard and my medical notes. She said: “You must stop masturbating.”  I asked: “Why?”  She replied: “I want to take your blood pressure!”

The Bumrungrad specialists came to the same conclusion as the Arab doctors in the sandpit as to the cause of my headaches, back aches, dizziness etc: they didn’t know and suggested I came back for more tests.  I left the hospital 4 hours later relieved of 14 thousand baht but relieved to be back on the street again.

It was one of those rare occasions when I left a place without any girl’s phone number in my moby. The costs were as follows: Doctor’s fee-750 baht; Facility- 150 baht; Medical equipment-500 baht; MRI radiologist’s fee-2,420 baht; MRI-9,380 baht; X ray radiologist’s fee 280 baht; X ray 600 baht. Total: 13,992 baht.

I left Soi three on my way passing the gorgeous Optometrist’s shop who I would be visiting later on my holiday after getting my bins nicked. It was worth the loss just to hear the frictionate rustling of her nylons. I passed the Arab quarter, the smell of Apple shisha sending me back to the sandpit, and from a distance I spied an Arab pharmacy a possible source of Vicodin, Xanax and Valium for future reference.

I then popped into Charlie’s Café on Soi 4, opposite the Spirit House shrine next to the Golden Bar, had a beer, Googled the painkillers I had been given at the hospital. You just put the name of the medicine into Google plus the word ‘abuse’ and see what turns up. I hit lucky. My medicine was addictive and ‘overuse could lead to dependency and anti social behaviour’:  therefore definitely worth messing with. I use Charlie’s a lot to check my e mails, shares, research my holiday and liaise with escort agencies, bordellos and other houses of ill repute. The Thai food looks better than the western food at Charlie’s Kitchen. The Internet connection is steady and the machines quite fast. The coffee is also good. The service is rapid and efficient from bright n shiny polite staff.  Is it a Chinese family concern I wonder?

I walked past the Dynasty Inn-don’t like that place, walked past the tarot card reader, and into that bar small bar, on the left that has steps leading up to it and a swimming apparel stall next to it, at least that day it did. It’s kinda opposite the bar with the tattooist above it. Both these bars have fairly non-descript girls in them.  Well actually quite ugly girls generally. You have to look around to find a beauty but sometimes the beer and the conversation flow and it is possible to get some phone numbers of potential talent. It’s nice that it overlooks the street.  I recently took one girl’s number, young, pretty, 21. I never saw her there again but when I called her a few days later she was at dinner with friends in Chitlom.

I visit Chitlom sometimes to go to the Akane Fashion and Massage. There is also a Branch of Akane on Soi 33.  The girls at Akane don’t do full sex but offer RGFE rimming and prostrate massage.  The menu of services includes one, two or three girls and a selection of unguents and oils for ones oleaginous pleasure. They have a special small chair, Sukebe isu in Japanese which are rather like the stools at the Colonze 2 bath house that you sit on when you get the Nuri Nuri massage. The chair, Korean in origin and used for medical purposes, has been adopted by the Japanese for perversion purposes.  It is now used in Thailand. The gap in the chair seat allows one  girl to massage your balls from underneath, press your prostate from outside, and rake her nails along your perineum if you are lucky before inserting a soapy digit up into your anus to probe your prostrate knowingly while the other girl wanks or blows you.  The various services at Akane range at from 950 baht to 2500 baht.

Of the two Akane MPs I prefer the Soi 33 one as they use the rooms at the Peep Inn in nearby which are better than the cubicles at the Chitlom branch.  I used to go there so often I earned enough tokens for a free massage.  However the beauty of the girls went down a couple of years ago though I think there has been a revamp of the place recently and an increase in the amount and hopefully the quality of the girls. Akane is always worth a visit to introduce your self to the managers and the girls who are friendly and service oriented. You can also pick up a business card and some free dodgy Jap teen magazines like G diary.  Such magazines have excellent information about some of the best MPs in town including cos play clubs.

Nearby in the Chitlom centre shopping mall there is a delightful restaurant on the second floor I think. It is fenced off by a hip high barrier and does very successful Thai/Western fusion food.  Although, much to my regret, they no longer do the Laad Na with Black Aberdeen Angus, they still do deep fried soft-shell crab stuffed sandwiches. The floor below seems to be a frequent venue for fashion Photo shoots and promotions. Extremely glamorous models can be found promoting various clothes and other lifestyle related goods: fertile ground for the upwardly mobile non P4P aspirant. The Chitlom mall is kinda opposite the Centara Hotel and Convention Centre where in the very near future I was to have another disastrous night out with Miss Au during which I discovered her weakness and accidentally cracked her fault line.

Back in Soi 4, back in the present, with the hospital memories thankfully fading, I gazed across the street to the bar under the tattooist.  There is an internet café adjacent and nearby a man sells orange, plastic, royal loyalty, wrist band some days.

I remembered I had I once bar fined the prettiest girl of the bunch from this place and it had not gone at all well. I had originally started visiting the bar after having a long chat with a sallow faced, diminutive girl with a pageboy haircut and bright eyes. She explained to me, in a very matter of fact way, that she had hepatitis C which she had caught whilst in the monkey house in Rangoon, Burma. It was a tale of woe I had time to listen to as I myself once fell foul of the authorities in Burma though I had not been imprisoned and raped. She asked me if I wanted to go short time but I declined mainly due to the worry about Hep C. I gave her 500 baht for her kid and called by a few times to chat with her until eventually she disappeared but I carried on drinking there till one day I met a very pretty girl there who wore tiny, red, corduroy hot pants: those impossibly small tight ones which seem to have originated as street clothes in Pattaya.

After our second meeting I barfined her and we went back to the hotel where I tried to shag her.  I say tried as she was so unresponsive I had to everything. Take of all her clothes, feel her up, remove her bra and T back and eventually put a condom on and bone her with me on top, all very unsatisfactory. When I commented on her useless performance she explained she was not comfortable with the fact we had not agreed a price and she thought I was trying to get a free fuck!  Oh for fuck’s sake! I tried to explain that this was furthest from my mind and I always paid my ladies. Despite her lacklustre performance I paid her anyway but by then we were back at the bar.

You see it is an issue of some importance whether to discuss prices before hand or not.  Most people have a view on this. It is my belief that usually I do not bother discussing prices and services to be rendered but if the girl brings up the subject I will listen and make a decision accordingly. In this instance a discussion prior to sex would have been useful. Things didn’t get any better.  I barfined her again, she had a fit body, was young, sexy and without child, but we never left the bar as she wanted to finish a game of pool, with someone else. So I left her to it with a snarl and never drank in the bar again.  I still don’t. Thinking about this girl I began to realise how horny I was.

I walked down the steps from the bar briefly considered a visit to the MP, can’t remember its name. It is next to the ATM Machine and Seven Eleven near Joolz.  I thought about Nim from the Charmming MP but found my self drifting towards Soi 6 where I passed the Happy Bar, Jersey Pub, Bangcockney, and landed in the Alex Bar. This bar was to become a regular haunt for me in this trip. Quite a few people go there because it is not too busy, if that isn’t a contradiction.  I barfined two girls from there on this trip and would have taken another couple if I had had the chance. This evening as the sun was setting I sat outside and talked to M again. She was the girl I had taken the day before referred to in Trip report passim. She spoke good English with a slight American accent and we passed an hour or so chatting and playing pool.  Under her stylish black frock she was not wearing safety pants this time, just nice see through bikini panties. As a reward I barfined her.

We went back to the bar again before I left to go and see Loso at the Hilary bar. Walking past Soi Big Mango I stopped to talk to Nim and her young friend Mu, who, not to put too fine a point on it, had really big tits and a lovely face and a well proportioned body.  I chatted, flirted, a bit, and made some suggestive comment before moving on. Walking into the seven eleven to get some Red Bull I started to ‘Follow That Arse.’  She was wearing a Polka dot Vivienne Westwood frock with a waste clinching, broad belt.  The thin material showed the outline of modest underwear beneath.  Her slim legs tapered into expensive looking high heels.  I moved from leer zone to personal space invasion zone as she arched up to get a coke from the fridge, then sensing my unseemly proximity she turned sharply to face me. I jumped back. She jumped back. It was Miss Au!  She greeted me: “John!” I smiled and shook my head. Not my name. She seemed flustered and left clutching her coke.

In the Hilary bar she joined me and asked me to buy her a drink. I did so.  We discussed the Sek Loso concert which she had tickets for as did my friend, Mam, from Morning Night.  Miss Au asked me to bar fine her and take her to the gig but I declined which was just as well as she immediately left me for a customer she had been with before I arrived. I carried on playing pool for an hour before crossing to the other Hilary bar to see the band but disaster stuck  I was seized up with shooting pains from my neck to my ankle. Overwhelmed with a migraine and dizziness. There was nowhere to sit and at the front the mosh pit seemed very rowdy. Somebody said there was fighting.  My friend, Mam, from Morning Night came in and a bit later so did Miss Au. I was rooted by pain to the spot.  I was only able to lean on a table to avoid falling over. The people whose table it was eyed me curiously. I introduced Mam to Miss Au who disappeared into the crowd. Mam whistled and commented on how beautiful Miss Au was. In the distance I could see Tee, the girl who had snogged me on a previous holiday. The place was too crowded so I left. The pain diminished a bit.  I crossed to have a drink at the Golden Bar which I always think of as the Nana hotel bar. I have never taken a girl from the Golden bar and indeed find the girls rather unfriendly not hostile but not very sociable. In fact I have only ever managed to have one conversation with a girl there.

I was not particularly perturbed by the disappointing gig but was a bit worried about the way the pain had overwhelmed me in such a debilitating manner. I decided not to think about and instead to treat my self to a steak. I went to the Rib Room and Bar Restaurant at the top of the Landmark Plaza. I always try to find high places to eat and drink in. This is one of the dearer places and although their pork rib is over-rated, their grain-fed beef, New York hung, and aged for 400 days is excellent. You can get a ‘tasting’ plate with three different samples of beef whereby the animals have been fed different ratios of grain over different periods of time.  The starter, or rather the amuse bouche, was a sculpted tomato, emptied, puréed with horse radish sauce, and then re set and chilled till lightly frozen like a tomato ice cream.  It had a Heston Blumenthal feel to it.  The serving staff are beautiful, clear skinned, fresh faced professional girls.  Throughout the meal I looked across the restaurant to the attractive waitresses and down to the distant drama of the streets below. You get a clear view of the people snaking around Nana Plaza as the lights glitter all around them. I finished the meal with a crème caramel and Irish coffee. With some fairly decent wine the whole meal came to about six thousand baht. It occurred to me that Miss Au would like this place.

I can recommend this bar as a great place to do some excellent boozing. If you are just drinking in the bar it’s about the same price as the bars in the streets below and you still get the dramatic vista of Bangkok. And the girls are very nice. It was midnight.  The events of the day had taken their toll on me so I decided to go back to the hotel after a quick visit to Mandarin.

The lift from the top of the Landmark is one of those Perspex panoramic external lifts.  The escalator up to the Mandarin is one of those metal ramshackle escalators and the views are of a different nature.  The Mandarin has improved since I last visited it. There are two Mandarins and the upstairs one is the best. Scantily clad young girls cavort and disport themselves in an appealing manner. There is a good atmosphere and in future I may bar fine one of these girls for a bit of rumpy pumpy but not this night: time to go home.

One my way back I called Charmming massage and though Nim was not available the Mamasan offered to send another girl round. At my hotel I was lying down relaxing under the influence of my chemical cosh but on my towel when Lat arrived.  I asked for an oil massage. I lay face down as she massaged me and I opened my legs so she could massage my balls from behind.  She was very obliging in this respect. When I turned over my erection flared and stood proud. I pointed to it and twitched it in rhythm to some simple Thai phrases.  A talking cock: this amused Lat. Well let’s face it: this isn’t the only farang dick to talk to her.

I asked her how much she wanted. She frowned and looked puzzled and asked what for. After a bit of joking and fooling around we arranged a price for a hand job about 1200 baht including the massage and call out fee.  She agreed to strip to her underwear which was a delightful, tight and white simple cotton affair. Her tight white briefs showed a subtle camel toe indentation and though I tried to inhibit my ejaculation she was gently merciless milking my man juice till my cock was soft. As usual I forsook the tissue and used the towel. She left as I slipped into a grateful slumber. I giggled to myself when I heard the lyrics of the CD I had put on earlier.  It was one I had grabbed and thrown in my bag without looking just before leaving my place in the sandpit: Gregory Isaac’s Night Nurse.

Night nurse
Only you alone can quench this Jah thirst
My night nurse, oh gosh
Oh the pain is getting worse

I don’t wanna see no doc
I need attendance from my nurse around the clock
‘Cause there’s no prescription for me
She’s the one, the only remedy

To be continued

The Lurcher