Fun With Pills Part 1 by Debt Star
Posted by Debt Star | Blog, Reader Submissions | Posted on March 9th, 2010
[Editor's Note: These three parts were sent in by Debt Star during the Hiatus. Apologies for not getting them out sooner. One note about pills in Thailand, you do need prescriptions for stuff so check the Thai Government and Embassy websites for more info. on the matter. Some helpful websites are here and here]
So there I was, a fun run to Bangkok four and a half years in the making. It was August of 2009, and I had just arrived at Cobra Swamp IAP at 11:00 PM. I had hopped a cab from the airport by 11:30, and was feeling the adrenaline rush hit me as my driver sped in on Soi 55 towards Sukhumvit Road. The sight of the concrete columns supporting the BTS lit a restless fire in my blood that I hadn’t felt in half a decade! I grabbed a room at the Sawasdi Hotel in Thong Lor (the 800 baht price they advertised was only for online reservations, so I only stayed there a couple of nights). A quick shower and change of clothes, and I was on the prowl by 12:30.
Hit Queens Park Plaza and partied at Country Road there until the 2:00am curfew. With nothing else to do, and knowing the jet lag would keep me wired all night, I headed down to Soi Cowboy to see if my old friend Pam (from Pam’s Bar fame) was still pushing a food cart around. No joy, couldn’t find her.
I walked down to Country Road Cowboy. The bar itself was closed, but I was surprised by the number of punters walking around after closing time. This was the first I saw of the drink cart phenomenon of lower Suk on Cowboy. The power of capitalism will not be denied I guess.
While wandering around, I found a lovely young lady with nerd glasses running a drink cart outside Country Road Bar. I ordered several Jack Cokes while pumping her for info. Her name was Gib, and she was a Rainbow 1 dancer who earned extra money after hours as the bartender of a Soi drink cart. She helped me get caught up on current events, as I used my not considerable charm to flirt with her as she tried to work. Eventually she had to close down business, and I took the opportunity to ask her to accompany me back to my room. Once she had closed up business for the morning, we hopped a cab back to Thong Lor.
Back in my hotel, we got down to business. At one point, she took off her nerd glasses and put them on the stand. I promptly put them back on her face and had her keep them on the whole time we were doing it. She squeaked out loud a couple of times from the climaxes. Everything was going great, when it happened.
I experienced a catastrophic weapons malfunction.
I couldn’t tell if it was the long flight, the Jack Cokes, the years of Stateside bullshit I put up with, or the fact that I was an overweight 39-year-old codger. All I knew was that, all of a sudden, I was “shooting pool with a laundry line.”, I was “throwing a hot dog down a hallway.”, I was “attempting a Rommel with a Montgomery.”
“Why you so small? You finish?” Gib asked in complete innocence.
“Uh… Yeah. I mean, UHH! YEAH BABY, YEAH,” I yelled in my best Austin Powers voice, unwilling to admit to her (or myself) what just happened.
After settling up the tab for the night and sending her on her way, I lay awake in bed and thought about what happened. Visions of General Jack D. Ripper kept dancing in my head. I’m sure it must be the long trip. I’m just tired, that’s all I thought to myself. I slept for a few hours, and got up to go to breakfast.
The breakfast would turn out to be very important. I asked for the bacon and eggs, and got two strips of semi-raw pork and two eggs runny-side up. I planned 3 weeks that August in Bangkok, and I spent a week’s worth of that time in bed or on the toilet from food poisoning. I also experienced several more missile malfunctions from either the food, whiskey dick, or just plain physical condition. I was thinking that someone should put a warning label on plane tickets to the LoS, “Punters with age or heart conditions should consult a physician before attempting to get laid here.”
I had varying degrees of success for the rest of my time there. On the plane back to The World in late August, I vowed to myself that I would start an exercise program and eat healthier in order to improve my personal performance next time in the LoS. I would clean up my act. I would turn over a new leaf.
(NOTE – As I write this in January, I am in a kitchen surrounded by dozens of empty liquor bottles, bags of beer cans, and a trash can full of fast food wrappers, my ginormous gut hanging out over my belt, exhausted from a hectic week of joblessness.)
Fast forward to October. As I surfed the ‘net at the local library, I read the weekly article Pmmp wrote back in October 2009 about the various pharmaceuticals available on the street in the LoS. Several of them piqued my interest. My parents would soon be taking a road trip down south to look for a new place to live away from their lazy, annoying offspring. Since I had agreed to house-sit for them (in exchange for all the free food I could eat before my folks threw it in the garbage), I had an opportunity to bench test the claim about the Lecithin. By late October, my folks were on the beach in the Carolinas, and I was on the couch in their living room with a porn movie on the satellite and my first experiment in my hand (the bottle of pills, that is).
I had picked up a bottle of the 1200mg Lecithin pills. They were the size of horse pills. I thought to myself, Christ, I’d have to be Marilyn Chambers to swallow one of these artillery shells! (I don’t swallow pills very well.) Fortunately, the gelatin GNC uses to make its capsules out of is saliva soluble. One pill and a few beers later, and I was ready to start.
“Amateur American GILFs and The Midgets Who Love Them,” or something like that, was playing on Pay Per View. I commenced my missile maintenance bench test.
Hmm, guidance system? Check. Rocket motor? Check. Warhead? Oh hell yeah! CHECK!
Judging by the detonation that occurred, I had experienced what was known as an Expanding Rod Warhead. This was an enhanced warhead fitted to the AIM-9D Sidewinder that was know to blast MiGs in half over Vietnam. At least, it sure as hell felt like that!
OK. We have a successful test firing. Now, how was it for persistence? I got another beer and sat back for another bench test. 10 minutes later and I had my answer. All over my stomach!
Another beer and a couple of sandwiches later I was feeling ready for round three. I didn’t bother, as I had all the results I needed from the experiment. While I sat there, I thought about what happened and pondered my situation. I still had some money left in the Credit Union, money that Uncle Sam hadn’t managed to get his hands on. I wasn’t doing anything special this winter. The weather in the LoS would be cooler, just the sort of thing that a fat geezer like me appreciated. I had a better sense of which girls were where this time out. I was also armed with more info about what chemicals were available over-the-counter. Given all this, I came (no pun intended) to an important decision.
The next day I was on the Internet booking tickets to Thailand for December.
26 Responses to “Fun With Pills Part 1 by Debt Star”
Leave a Reply
walking by lolitas and hearing my name...never!;)
1 2 beers per hour/per man/per day2 3somes with some ladyboys3 yeager ...
Bang a deaf girl..... too easy. Done it.This has the opportunity of tu...
Ask to sit on the naughty step:http://www.the-castle-pattaya.com
I challenge the dynamic duo to obtain a packing crate, nail in a pair ...
I'd like to see them make the So What and Lucky Love bars' Facebook pa...
I would like Daywalker to "pull a train " in Jenny Star Bar . I will e...
Well they should start the trip by stealing a taxi from a tout in bang...
I would like these two obnoxiously drunk (which shouldnt be an issue) ...
@ Barfine warrior you got some pretty harsh sh*t in there, goddamn! ha...
Recent Comments
Translator
Too much information.
View all comments by JJ
Not enough information.
View all comments by Pants Elk
Sorry for Off Topic:
But are you going to show the ‘Pacman” vs. Clottey fight?
View all comments by 8 Ball
That fight wont last long, I’d say Clottey could last maybe 3 rounds at best.
View all comments by Radicalron
You do need a prescription to enter Thailand with most drugs. But buying them here without prescription is almost as easy as getting laid. Even hardcore stuff like Rohypnol and Dormicum go OTC in a few pharmacies.
View all comments by mart
Yuck.
View all comments by Wombat
NOW YOU ARE Sure this is usefull information?????
View all comments by robert
I had a wank and got knackered. I took chemicals had another wank and it lasted longer – the end.
View all comments by doctorbond
@8ball: Working out the details and will put a post out in the next day or so. We’re pretty sure we have it showing, but making 100% sure and then we will post.
View all comments by pmmp
You’re gonna show this guy masturbating and coming all over his stomach?!!
Gross!
That’s just c*r*e*e*p*y!!!!
View all comments by Werewolf
I thought the O.P. was entertaining. I had a similar failure with my first trollop on the last LOS trip.
On a slightly related matter, if anyone stayed at Areca Lodge Pattaya circa Nov 2008 and found the following porn mags: Naughty Neighbours Dec 03, Leg Action Jun 09, Tight July 03 – I will pay for any info relating to. They were the ‘crown jewels’ of my stash.
View all comments by Hunch644
@ Hunch
You were there in Nov ‘08 and lost a Leg Action from Jun ‘09? Cool, I wanna learn to time travel too.
You see there was this bad decision regarding a future ex-wife that needs to be corrected……
I have read the posts and test results from Lecithin before. I vaguely recall PMMP describing YP as cumming like a spastic rhino. (Though in his defense I don’t believe that was witnessed personally.) If UCW is out there I would like some advice for getting a hold of some in Mexico and what is the translation into Spanish. How is it sold in LOS or the U.S? Should I just walk into a pharmacy / nutrition store and ask for it off the shelf similar to fish oil (sorry, former cholesterol problems) or is it an ingredient in another product?
View all comments by Gringo N Mex
@Gringo, you read correct – Jun 09….in Jun 08.
Actually, srcatch my last appeal – I just saw the photos of that Dr Bond Star Trek party. Damn!! Someone assure me those uniforms have been safely stored?
View all comments by Hunch644
Surprised at all the yuck mentality…its only cum guys, it won’t hurt you!
Who can fault a guy for sitting on his sofa in his pants doing this shit? Exactly, nobody.
On a brighter note, i’ll be arrivaderci bangers 25th march,feel free to lock up all the thieves and starfish before I arrive.
I might need to borrow some money on arrival actually, the way the pound is going, I will have a minus budget, so if you can see your way to lending a pretend old soldier a few baht for beer, i’ll be most grateful.
View all comments by rope-a-dope
Definitely TMI. But what I wanna know is, what the hell does taking lecithin, which supposedly makes you produce gobs of semen, have to do with getting a case of limp dick? If you’re not hard in the first place–and of course, there are plenty of pills available in Thailand over-the-counter to remedy that–what good is any amount of lecithin gonna do you?
View all comments by ratchada
@GringoNMex: It’s available OTC. GNC carries it, and you are right, I did not witness the YP Rhino
@Hunch644: They are. We are waiting for the next movie to come out in 2012.
@ratchada: Mileage varies, but for me, Lecithin stirs up the libido a bit. Maybe it’s Psycosomatic, but so what if it is.
View all comments by pmmp
@pmmp: okay, that makes sense. and hey, probably 95% of sexual excitement is “psychosomatic,” nothing wrong with that!
View all comments by ratchada
Care for some drug info that’s actually useful?
http://www.aafp.org/afp/991001ap/1387.html
View all comments by fender
There’s some seriously depressing information on that link, Fender:
“Survey Reveals Continued Trend of Decline in Illicit Drug Use by Adolescents
Results from the Monitoring the Future Survey of eighth, 10th, and 12th grade students in the United States showed declines in the use of marijuana, some club drugs, cigarettes, and alcohol, according to HHS. This year’s study surveyed more than 43,000 students in 394 schools across the country about lifetime use, past year use, past month use, and daily use of drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes and smokeless tobacco. Marijuana use during the past year was at its lowest rate since 1995 among 10th graders and at its lowest rate since 1994 among eighth graders. Rates of LSD use were the lowest in the history of the survey among students in all three grades.”
Kids today – CUH!
View all comments by Pants Elk
This reminds me of something.
After 4 months without getting wet (due to a pregnancy), I decided to go for an aloe vera rub for my burnt skin, which I got due to various trips with my visiting family to all sorts of beaches and islands. Anyway, as it turns out 30 minutes later with an okay (lets say, fine but experienced) looking massage therapist, this particular massage parlor offered to down the gun for 500 baht. Cheap charile as I am I actually managed to bargain this down to 400 baht. Said and done she got to down to business and unfortunately for me, being without anything even resembling a vagina for a way longer time then god intended, my dong was caught off guard and decided to give a tinge-ling feeling after two measly seconds. Quick as I am, I grabbed the machinery and at the same time as I squelched “I’m sorry, I can’t do this.” I filled the rubber with the mother load of a lifetime. To my surprise the masseur did not notice this. I managed to hide the now very greasy, barley used condom under the mattress and as I left the booth with aloe vera all over my body I kind of felt like I did her wrong and gave her a stunning 200 baht tip.
Stay out of the sun.
//Rollins Rolls
PS: I now take the longer way around in order to avoid being seen in that area.
View all comments by Rollins Rolls
I wouldn’t worry so much about the drug abuse. Child stars have been using then for years without repercussions. I mean lets take Corey Haim for example.. oh wait.. bad example.
RIP Corey.
Drugs Kill
View all comments by I Phukit
PE: easily explainable.
Pot is already legal in California and will likely continue to be decriminalized around the country (you just know Obama sparks up; zero doubt). With the label of disapproval removed, pot use among 13-15 year olds will drop, but will be more than picked up by the increased use by the 21+ crowd.
LSD is even easier: In 1995 Jerry Garcia died and the Grateful Dead stopped touring. This was a major disruption in distribution. I mean seriously, if you live in Topeka KS, how the fuck are you supposed to get acid once there’s no more Grateful Dead parking lot?
View all comments by fender
Good points, Fender, good points. But I’ll take issue with your “useful” information – the only useful information on drugs is where you can get them. And I’m going to write a country song called “how the fuck are you supposed to get acid once there’s no more Grateful Dead parking lot?”
And to “I Phukit” – drugs kill? Like alcohol and tobacco, right?
View all comments by Pants Elk
PE: where to get ‘em is a good start. But that’s easy: Thai pharmacies. After you’ve found your way to one, there’s more info needed for your average sex tourist on a 4 week jag. Such as, “which antibiotic do I need to get rid of this case of chlamydia, and how much?”
Sure, you could just wait till you get home and go to your GP, look him in the eye and say “I’ve spent the last month paying to screw anything that moved in Bangkok. Give me a full panel screen and put me on an antibiotic IV drip.”. Then, after shoving a q-tip up your piss-hole, he writes you an Rx or 3 and hands them to the receptionist, who flips through you file and reads all about it… I’d rather get my own stuff OTC and make myself a drug cocktail, thanks much!
View all comments by fender
If we’re exchanging stories about wanking, when I was 14, I came back from school and got locked out of my house. It was a bitterly cold English November, so I snuck into the garage, and had 3 wanks in the space of 30 minutes on a dusty deck chair, and wiped the ’stuff’ on an old roll of carpet. The end
View all comments by Young Penfold
If we’re exchanging stories about dusty deck chairs, I shagged one once on the beach at Brighton. I’ve since moved on to leatherette recliners, but occasionally I’ll slam the Old Boy in a stripy one just for old times.
View all comments by Pants Elk