A Bangkok Trip Report by The Lurcher
Posted by The Lurcher | Blog, Reader Submissions | Posted on February 14th, 2010
I visit Thailand at least three times a year when I get holiday leave from the company I work for which is a large corporate entity based in the Middle East. It is always a delight to fly into Bangkok from the land of sand, buggery and burqas and home made hooch. But there again it is always a delight to fly into Bangkok from most countries.
On my last trip I decided to be a bit more adventurous and less of a lazy sod and leave the purlieus and environs of Bangkok and Pattaya and go to Chang Lai, Mai Hong Sot, Mai and other such places. I should inform you right now if want any information about these aforementioned places do not read on. I never really got out of Soi Sii actually.
I changed hotels on the last trip as I could no longer tolerate the construction site quality of the N— P—- Hotel: the noises of the hammering and drilling at all times of days and night, and I do mean *all times* *of* *day and night*. A never ending cacophony of ongoing repair and renovation always involving the loudest electrical power tools and the biggest and heaviest of hammers chisels and mallets used in inharmonious union.
So I moved to a posher hotel around the corner near Soi Six and for the first time in twenty years actually visited some of those bars such as The Alex Bar and The Bangcockney. I needed to have a base in the area as I had scheduled a visit to Bumrungrad Hospital for an MRI scan to check the cause of recent dizzy spells, headaches and blackouts. I had decided to have a medical holiday in Bangkok as I did not feel like, could not face, going to a local hospital here in The Great Sandpit but I might as well have done so as the Bumrungrad hospital is rapidly deteriorating into a Middle East Mad House.
Having checked in to my new hotel and having crossed town to run some errands, I decided to relax a bit on my first day to prepare myself for my forth coming hospital visit. Realising the potential detumescent effects of the Jet lag, I decided to drop half Cialis. (I am always surprised there is not more debate about the comparative benefits of Viagra and Cialis. The latter is far superior.) Anyway I returned back to The manor and decided to pop into the N— as my only doubt about not using the hotel anymore was leaving the massage girls behind, (abandoning them I mean). I was going to miss these stirling wank warriors who had helped me rise to the occasion so often on many morning past.
It is a luxury we do not get in most places to wake up at 10am with an early morning stiffy, pick up a phone and then, five minutes later, be visited by a pretty girl who bathes you, oils you, massages you: one hour oil –one hour Thai massage and then having aroused you by sly and overt stimulation turns you over on to your hand and knees, inserts her finger far enough into to you to stimulate your prostrate and then proceeds to milk you from a behind using a wrap-around position, (or from behind but between the legs) whilst mercilessly pumping her hand up and down using dainty but firm muscle powered *vertical* strokes till you spend your self helplessly and unashamedly on the bedcover…..twice.
An excellent way to start the day but alas alack! The girls were too lazy to walk five minutes to my new hotel. How can these girls afford to throw away two thousand baht!? One was up for it but was up country. One was in California and the other was ill at home with family. None of the other three were willing to do an outcall 5 minutes away. Mulling over this state of affairs and for some reason beginning to get penis centered and horny, I made my way back to my hotel with thoughts of The Tulip on my mind when I noticed a tall pretty girl in a short dark frock outside one of the bars on Soi Six.
I joined her for a chat and a drink but when, after a decent interval of three minutes, I put my hand up her skirt I discovered to my horror of horrors she was wearing safety pants! Argh. This modesty protecting fashion of a girl wearing a pair of shorts over her knickers but under her skirt is just plain cheating! I remonstrated with her but she claimed some guys touched her up, got too horny and then had a wank in the toilets in the bar causing her to loose money. I was intrigued by this insight into cheapskate sexual incontinence so I took her back to my hotel where thankfully, she, without any conversational ado nor the usual preamble of bath, shower or even a cock ‘sniff and check’ undid me, took me in her mouth and gave an excellent long slow full blow job until I shot my wad.
Then, having, undressed, recovered and showered we then shagged with her on top and she either came or pretended to. Not of great interest to me actually. After one more BJ assisted by my hand and her lips she received me again and took her second shot of vitamins like a lady. I was gratified by this swift ‘Zip less fuck’ as it was just what I needed and left me with an appetite for lunch. Having just arrived a few hours ago maybe I should have rested in preparation for my MRI and hospital check up but I heard pork chops calling me to the table and after a gratefully guzzled non halal meal of pork chops mashed potato and a glass of whiskey, I thought about unpacking: Thought about it. Another reason I miss the N— is because sometimes I like to take a pretty girl from the car park, pay her to undress, unpack my bags, hang all my clothes up and then blow or wank me but at this new posher hotel this was not an option. I decided not to bother unpacking, couldn’t be arsed so I drifted around a few bars, well actually all the bars on Soi six then went in search of an unusual girl I had met on the trip before: Miss Au.
Miss Au as I called her, for that was her name, was an unusual woman. She looked and dressed like a model: like those porcelain Thai women, beautifully dressed, immaculately coiffured, hi so poo yings you see being interviewed on Thai TV. With her delicate smooth white skin, artfully made up fluttering eyes, modest dress, effortless comportment, I had never understood nor had the time to find out why she had started employment in the Hilary 3 Pool Hall. ‘To learn English’ she had told me weeks ago. I could believe that as I have often had severe irritating communication problems with the girls at this bar but anyway I had not heard from her in my absence in the great Sandpit and though via an intermediary at Morning Night I had attempted to contact Miss Au, I had been unsuccessful.
I left the bars of Soi Six behind and ambled towards Hilary 3 with the intention of bedding this beautiful woman and finding out more about her puzzling anomalous presence. I tend to get the Hilary bars mixed up but this is one just past the faux Irish pub, in front of the Indian hotel and does not have live music.
On my way to Hilary (3) I was hailed by a very pretty, tall, young, 19yo full lipped, fresh faced girl who was touting for business for local massage parlour next door but one or so to the Big Mango Bar. I took her card, asked about morning visits to my hotel but her blush perturbed me a bit. It might be an uphill struggle to train her up to the levels of filth and degradation I require but I decided to give her the benefits of my training scheme…later..tomorrow. I crossed over and entered the Pool bar in search of the mysterious Miss Au.
To be continued…(The Bangkok Trip Report series by The Lurcher is available here)
28 Responses to “A Bangkok Trip Report by The Lurcher”
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Mango Fortnightly - 16th May
That 'free blowjob with first drink'....mmmm wheres that? Just curious.
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Mango Fortnightly - 16th May
Did a couple of all nighters this week. As after hours is concerned, Insomnia Bangkok is king in my book. There were plenty of freelancer...
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Mango Fortnightly - 16th May
Good theme for the party DW, never tried a 'Four-Some', bucket list #38.
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Mango Fortnightly - 16th May
Good read. Appreciate the effort. Thanks
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Mango Fortnightly - 16th May
"A group of guys from the US Military descended upon us" - did everything suddenly become 'awesome' ?
:)
Yup - wheels up in a week - ...
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Mango Fortnightly - 16th May
I hope you keep the fortnightly updates going. It's a good read and something most (any?) other bars don't do. I used to frequent the 'Ol...
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Mango Fortnightly - 16th May
CTG - June 9th is the party. There will be a separate post about it soon - I am just waiting on some final details.
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Mango Fortnightly - 16th May
Daywalker, have you confirmed the date for the anniversary party? Last I read was some time around June 8th or 9th.
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Isan women drinking too much? Really?
9.6 grammes of alcohol would be the content in 24 ml of vodka (40% v/v). That's less than a "small" measure (30 ml.) Is that daily dose s...
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A November to Remember Part Two - By Deptstar
200lb... na, not even in a bad dream.
Recent Comments
Translator
“safety pants”!! don’t you just hate them!!!
I know a guy who wears boxer with holes in them. Apparently they are ‘comfortable’.
Commando is the way forward.
- Until you have a fart that gets a little meaty.
View all comments by Daywalker
Incidentally, whats the score with the massage parlors next to the Mango?
I’ve seen a few cracking little girls there. But the last thing I need is to fall in love with more bloody girls.
View all comments by Daywalker
I always found the massage parlour near the Mango jolly useful. It was a great place to pass the hour or two between the time B3 said he would meet me for a drink and the time he actually turned up.
View all comments by doctorbond
“I like to take a pretty girl from the car park, pay her to undress, unpack my bags, hang all my clothes up and then blow or wank me…”
You dirty old sot! I prefer them to do that in an abbreviated, pantyless French Maid outfit but I find it embarrassing to travel with one of those in my carrry-on, seeing as how often I get all the extra attention from Airport Security. For all us bean counters, would love to see prices paid in the next installment. What did you offer the massage parlor girls to make a housecall?
Nice read…
View all comments by soi4rulz
BTW, the massage shop next to the Mango is called “Charmming Massage”. Not sure if the double m’s are intentional or not.
View all comments by pmmp
Having only ever been to one massage parlor (and having a massage) in Bangkok, I was most disappointed. Can’t say I care for a massage anymore than I like those little toilet attendants trying to massage me when I take a pee.
Am I missing out on something?
View all comments by Daywalker
DW I had a real massage where I usually get just a foot massage and the cow damn near killed me. I swore that for sure the next day I’d be black and blue. You can bet there will be no more of those. From now on when I want a massage it will be with 38 kilo sweetheart that just wants to fuck and suck.
Damn Lurcher I go past the Hillery bar 3 or 4 times a week and I never saw anything that looked good enough to nod at. Whats this lily white shit, if she shaves you’ll have to shake the sheets to find it.
View all comments by The Man
@ The Man – you’re Penfold in drag, aren’t you?
View all comments by Pants Elk
PE Your talking to the wrong Mickey Ficker.
View all comments by The Man
The Man – “From now on when I want a massage it will be with 38 kilo sweetheart that just wants to fuck and suck”.
Put me down for one of them.
View all comments by Daywalker
DW, As soon as I find one you’ll be the first and only one to know.
View all comments by The Man
The Man as YP in drag…. that is a very scary thought, though perhaps a glance in to the future
View all comments by spats
spats, not as long as your alive will that ever happen. Also not as long as I’m alive!
You sissy boys just don’t know what it is to be a Man!
View all comments by The Man
@ Daywalker
“Commando is the way forward.
- Until you have a fart that gets a little meaty.”
I would also humbly suggest shorts to hide the embarrassing dribble down the front of your leg.
View all comments by Gringo N Mex
thank you for reading my piece
DW: The MP I am talking about is Charmming
S4rz : I did not offer anything but I asked the price but anyway that was eventually handled by the mamasan at the place. The massage is one price and the happy ending (or two) is another price. At the Nana the girls ask 600 baht for 1 hour and I think 900 for two hours. They this goes to their ‘shop.’ As rule of thumb the happy endings and girl undressing should be no more, and hopefully a bit less than the actual massage. I usually pay a total of 1500 to 2000 to the Nana girls but that is for a very special 2 hour plus service.
However, when the first beauty from the Charmming Massage came to my room, it was nearly 1am. I think she wanted 700 or 800 hundred for one hour. When it came to the sticky ending I think I offered 5 hundred and she asked for more. I must admit money is not really an issue for me with these matters and I also factored in her youth, bravery for visiting an ogre like me and the very late time of the visit at what was a time of great need for me: but more of this a latter juncture.
DW: In my humble opinion you are missing out some of the best sex to be had in BKK and Thailand in general. I am sorry for not making that clear in the report.
TM: I tend to agree and more of this at a letter juncture.
View all comments by The Lurcher
TM: I tend to agree and more of this at a later juncture. Sorry about spelling error
View all comments by The Lurcher
I have given up on “traditional Thai massage” as an exercise in pain survival. When I want a “normal” rub I now request an oil massage. Of course you have to be clear what kind of place you are in when you are asking for one. I went in one place for a normal massage and ended up with something more! Not that I complained, but I might have expressed a choice of masseuse. Funny thing is my buddy only ended up getting a “normal” massage, so maybe I WAS in a normal place – what can I say, Thai chicks dig me
And Lurcher, the “therapeutic” massages you get from the NPH are very interesting and I’m sure stimulating. Your proctologist must be happy you are following advice.
Good stuff, looking forward to the continuation.
View all comments by SBDOTKU
SBDOTKU:
There are massages and there are massages.
Any massage, oil or Thai, or Korean for that matter, in a private room usually end in some sort of sex. If you wish to avoid sex then you have the massage in a public area of the massage shop or in a semi-public, but curtained off area. That being said many styles of massage designed for Asian bodies may not suit the occidental body type especially when factoring in age, weight, and fitness level. Even yoga can cause a strain. When I do want a traditional Thai massage I make it clear I want a gentle massage, but always in a private room to facilitate a happy ending. So if you do definitely want a happy ending then ask for an oil massage in a private room. However, I usually ask for half Thai half oil in a private room. I always tuck my cock downwards towards my thighs give the masseuse an opportunity to stimulate me and so she can see that I am stimulated. I have only had two respectable massages, one in a spa in Cambodia and another in a spa in Pattaya on second road. I always arch appreciatively at the slightest hint of butter finger tips fluttering between my legs.
View all comments by The Lurcher
@ Lurcher – interesting post – thanks. As far as I remember there are no rooms off Charmming massage so I guess you are pretty much restricted to whatever you don’t mind being visible through the windows – Obviously more is available if you order a carry-out to your hotel but this somewhat defeats the object for me – I like to go in, get sorted and leave – I’ve had a few foot massages there though and they were pretty competent.
View all comments by doctorbond
I had a massage in Hat Yai (sorry, don’t remember the name of the place, but close to the big department store) that took place on a mat on the floor in a big open room and we only had flimsy curtains between us and everybody else that waved in the breeze every time someone opend the door. I think this qualifies as semi-public.
The girl was slim and cute enough and we did fuck and suck right there. Of course she urged me to be quiet, and I was mostly successful. She was game, except for the noise factor, and it was kind of an odd experience, but felt great nontheless. When I emerged, the smiling, noding faces of all the girls waiting for customers told me maybe we hadn’t been as quiet as I thought.
I agree, Lurcher, that usually such a location would preclude sex. But I guess my point is that in Thailand there are guidlines as to how things should go, but that, when it comes to sex, anything can happen.
Thanks again for your informative post.
View all comments by soi4rulz
doctorbond: I believe there are ‘rooms’ at Charmming massage in an area behind where the girls sit. For those who wish to check out the NH girls but are not staying at the hotel there are ‘rooms’ next to the barber’s shop. The girls sit outside waiting for bookings.
soi4rulz: Point taken. I agree.
View all comments by The Lurcher
@ Lurcher – ahh – sorry. I never really looked behind that screen. Only ever had the foot massage there.
View all comments by doctorbond
Lurcher….Thanks… I really enjoy your writing…good ,honest, detailled report…heading out in May…and will be sure to hit the Mango via alot of the above places..
View all comments by Maleo
Maleo-Thanks. Have a good one.
View all comments by The Lurcher