Big Mango Bar
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Jakarta in a Nutshell by WFTM

Posted by WFTM | Blog, Indonesia, Reader Submissions, Trip Report | Posted on November 9th, 2009

Some of the geeks out there will know about the O’Reilly Nutshell books. For me anytime I try to tackle a new programming language or some spec I would normally look for the nutshell book on the appropriate subject. Clear, concise and lots of pointers. Hence I will try to do the same. For the record I did SMS and Email the Crazy Kiwi – AKA The Athelete who did get back to me with a list – on my last day of course.

FYI all nutshell series books come with an animal to represent the subject matter. I chose the Platypus – a seemingly strange but cute looking creature that appears to be perfectly harmless but the male of the species has poison spurs and can almost kill you. It is the way I feel about Jakarta. At first glance the seemingly tame Muslim country looks like it does not have much to offer in the way of nightlife but dig a little and you will find a dangerous(in a good way) city that apart from the go-go scene – can be a nice alternative party city to Bangkok.

Quick aside – since what is life without an aside? Anyone catch the small article in Fortune mag about Jim Press the CEO of Chrysler? First off how do rich people end up broke so easily? I never get that but that is not why I am bringing this nitwit up. He has recently gone through a big job change and some tax issues. He is a longtime American expat for Toyota so you know that means he gets the Asian scene – he fools around. Don’t tell me he doesn’t. So he gets a divorce and people start saying he has some personal and financial issues. Cool – guess how it relates to Thailand? You have to know that all bad things in Asia have a link to Thailand.

Jim showed up after his divorce with some younger arm candy – Suwichada Busamrong – some hi-so Thai chick with a 100 watt smile. This was back some years ago but it is all coming out now cause it seems she lead to his divorce and she is also being listed as his wife now since they both owe the IRS some money. I guess Jim was hitting Bangkok now and then on his way back and forth from Japan to the US.

Back to Jakarta.

As with all countries in Asia there are ways to play Jakarta TX and Non TX. TX is the easiest I guess but I was also interested in seeing the Non TX scene and meeting some normal girls but the problem is time of course. TX takes less time. My first night in was a Monday so I hit BATS. FYI the name means Bar At The Shangri-La. Nice and inventive. The place is okay. The most expensive out of the hotel bars but the band is not that great and the place is gloomy. It was full of girls but also grizzled mongers and a not so great party vibe. I will go back to finish my bottle but having seen some other places I would not rate BATS that highly.

Another one of the hotel bars is CJ’s at the Mulia Hotel. Much better than BATS in my opinion. Better layout, way better band(the lead singer is HOT), better prices and more girls. CJ’s also has the distinction of attracting party girls and office girls. This is due to the fact it is a popular Indonesia conference hotel and the band is well known. I was hanging with my bottle of Jim and just taking in the scene. There were some absolute stunners in there. The right Indos are sometimes called the Latinas of Asia – they have tits and ass. My old live-in whilst I lived in Hong King was an Indo and had the best boobs I have been with.

I had not picked up anyone yet and was glad I had not when 2 cute office girls walked in with a guy in a suit. They sat next to me and we started chatting. He was a lawyer and had some business with a law office in Jakarta. One girl worked for that law office and her friend worked for one of the hotels in the area. We shared some booze and chatted. Exchanged phone numbers and left it at that. I packed it in since I had an early meeting and Jakarta traffic sucks ass – the one huge problem with the city.

I got an SMS the next morning asking if could go out Thurs night. A date was set.

On Wed night I had business and a dinner with the locals. We hit this pub – which was a nice place to hang and be local. Lots of cuties in there as well.

I did not get to explore more Wednesday and Thursday night was date night. She picked me up at the hotel and we went to Buddha Bar for dinner and then on to Red Square. BB is awesome. A cool old building with a dinner area, a lounge and and outdoor area. Great food, fun cocktails and a cool vibe. Perfect place to hang with a date. Reasonable prices but not cheap, cheap.

Then off to drink and dance. She chose Red Square which I was aware of but had not been to. Good drinks, awesome DJs and a nice mix of people. It was not rammed but fortunately they had table dancers. 2 hotties and the token fat one but fun and all very doable. Was a nice distraction. Like Thai girls the Indos like ogling other girls. I even saw some lesbians here so I need to do some 3some exploring. We did not stay late since we both had to work but the cab ride home was fun and we planned on meeting up next time I am in town. So one on the back burner for Jakarta. I was told this was how to play with the normal girls and after a few dates they become regular stay overs. We shall see.

That was all I had time to do but here is a list of places some expats and locals suggest.

Normal clubs/bars:

Dragonfly

Blowfish

Immigrant

Loewy’s

X2

Social House

Equinox

Vintage

Mistere

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So you can see for clubbing Jakarta has it in spades over Bangkok and it is open all night so you can start late, go late and well u know. Taxis are cheap, user the meter and at night there is no traffic. For pure clubbing I prefer Jakarta to Bangkok already.

Obviously there are no go-go bars and a small girly bar scene. I did not sample any of it. Word is though that there are some clubs with topless dancers and one place has an occasional topless female DJ who is super hot. Sign me up.

The problem with Jakarta as compared to BKK is the lack of things like a soapie but supposedly there are some places. Like Malaysia and Sing you will see health spas all over town with many of them offering some sort of happy ending and some offering full service.

Some notable mentions:

5+1 Bar at the Melawai Hotel.

Delta Massage

I am sure there are more but hopefully others can help fill in the blanks. If I had this post before I went I would have wasted less time but next time I hope to go deeper.

The last place I will mention is Stadium. I went there years ago and was stunned about how nutty it was and supposedly it has not changed. It stays open late, has p4p on site and is known for lots of crazy shit. People say don’t go alone and I tend to agree but I also don’t think it is super dangerous – just watch your back. However don’t take normal girls here or mention you go here since then they will assume you are a dirty, drug loving monger – which is the truth but you have to keep the lines between church and state clear.

Enjoy!