Bottom Feeders by On Nutter
Posted by On Nutter | Blog, Reader Submissions | Posted on October 21st, 2009
The longer you stay in Thailand, the cheaper you get. It’s just one of those things that happen. When I arrived here four years, three months and 27 days ago (not that I’m counting), I had zero income but spent money like Imelda Marcos in a shoe shop. Now that I earn a UK-level salary in a developing nation, my wallet gets less action than a Bangladeshi tourist visiting Rainbow 4.
This transformation happens, I believe, because after a while one realises just how little most Thais earn and spend. In a nation where the average monthly salary is about 10,000 baht and where many people work long hours in factories for half that sum, it just seems morally wrong to spend as much as a Thai’s weekly food bill on, for example, a barfine.
The locals are constantly amazed that I splurge 11,000 baht a month to rent an apartment, even though that is much less than many farangs lay out for accommodation that Thais could get for a quarter of the price. They cannot understand why anyone would eat overpriced food in British pubs when good Thai meals can be had for 30 baht. They are bewildered that we even get inside taxis where the driver won’t use the meter. As for tipping the driver, most Thais would rather gargle with rat poison.
Faced with this cultural thriftiness, most expats eventually go native – some more than others. Take Douglas, for example. As a Scotsman, he was already imbued with penny-pinching genes, but even his friends were surprised when he stopped going to Cheap Charlie’s in Soi 11 because he reckoned it was ‒too expensive” after its beer prices rose to 70 baht. He regularly arrives at bars just before happy hour ends to order six beers at the discounted price. He even gets away with this trick at the posh Huntsman pub in the basement of The Landmark.
When I asked him if he was ever embarrassed by being so cheap, he replied: ‒My money is as good as anyone else’s. If a bar or a girl doesn’t want it, I will spend it elsewhere. These Isaan gogo dancers asking customers for 3,000 or 4,000 baht make me laugh. Most of them had never seen a 1,000-baht note until they came to Bangkok.”
I spent a week in Koh Samui in the company of a man so cheap that he made Douglas seem like the last of the big spenders. Steve was from Wigan in northern England, where they are careful with their brass. It became apparent that he wasn’t the most romantic of souls when he explained his policy towards the Isaan ambassadors populating Lamai’s many bars.
‒I have three golden rules – I never pay barfines, I only go short time because I don’t like waking up with them, and I never give them more than 500 baht,” he announced defiantly as we chatted in the Red Fox Bar, one of the few bars in the area without entertainment providers, providing you discount English landlord Alan.
While I have always approved of budget-conscious whoring, it struck me that Steve’s hardline approach would ensure him of celibacy in more expensive Bangkok, but perhaps he would have a chance in Samui in low season when even I can have the allure of Brad Pitt as I wander round bars devoid of customers.
Steve decided to demonstrate his bargaining powers at the plaza of 12 bars within spitting distance of the Red Fox on Walking Street. He was soon approached by a Buriram native and, after the usual formalities, he told her his golden rules and asked if she was up for some action.
‒If you don’t pay the barfine of 300 baht, I will have to pay it, so I will be getting only 200 baht,” she protested.
‒Not my problem,” Steve replied, folding his arms across his chest.
Being a lazy type and not really wanting to walk back to his room for some mattress gymnastics, he then took the negotiations down another level by pointing at the toilet at the vacant next-door bar. ‒We could go there,” he suggested. ‒You won’t really be leaving the bar, so I cannot see why you would have to pay the barfine. I will give you 500. It’s up to you whether you pay the barfine.”
Remarkably, she agreed. They marched off to do the deed in the less than romantic setting of a shithouse. About 20 minutes later, they emerged looking rather disheveled. There was a spontaneous round of applause from the other bargirls.
Steve decided to reward his girl with a drink, but even then there was a catch. ‒This drink is for me – it’s not a lady-drink,” he shouted to the cashier as he ordered a Spy wine cooler. When he was served, he handed the bottle to the girl, thus saving the 40-baht lady-drink surcharge.
I asked him if everyone from Wigan was so cheap. ‒We like to get value for money,” he said. ‒I had a mate come here on holiday once who went with a girl and only gave her 60 baht to fill up her motorbike. And I forgot to tell you – that girl I just went with wanted me to buy a condom for 10 baht, but I made her get it.”
I felt proud to be British.
81 Responses to “Bottom Feeders by On Nutter”
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Mango Fortnightly - 16th May
That 'free blowjob with first drink'....mmmm wheres that? Just curious.
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Mango Fortnightly - 16th May
Did a couple of all nighters this week. As after hours is concerned, Insomnia Bangkok is king in my book. There were plenty of freelancer...
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Mango Fortnightly - 16th May
Good theme for the party DW, never tried a 'Four-Some', bucket list #38.
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Mango Fortnightly - 16th May
Good read. Appreciate the effort. Thanks
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Mango Fortnightly - 16th May
"A group of guys from the US Military descended upon us" - did everything suddenly become 'awesome' ?
:)
Yup - wheels up in a week - ...
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Mango Fortnightly - 16th May
I hope you keep the fortnightly updates going. It's a good read and something most (any?) other bars don't do. I used to frequent the 'Ol...
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Mango Fortnightly - 16th May
CTG - June 9th is the party. There will be a separate post about it soon - I am just waiting on some final details.
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Mango Fortnightly - 16th May
Daywalker, have you confirmed the date for the anniversary party? Last I read was some time around June 8th or 9th.
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Isan women drinking too much? Really?
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A November to Remember Part Two - By Deptstar
200lb... na, not even in a bad dream.
Recent Comments
Translator
Long time no see On Nutter (we have met at the mango a few times, we spoke about the lies I tell everybody about my holiday destination) very funny story!
Know what you mean about going cheap, I’m the same. However, not quite as bad as your friend from Wigan!
Did your Wigan mate eat many pies?
View all comments by Philip
Really funny!
View all comments by Cosmo-Politan
Ahh Wigan……….The Paris of the North….. :+)
View all comments by Uncle Dave
On Nutter,
You have the best observations on Thailand!
As you mentioned he was from Wigan, I wonder if every time someone quoted him a price he replied, “Are you ‘avin a laugh? Is she ‘avin a laugh!?!”
View all comments by The Soi Lawyer
Please keep the posts coming, On Nutter. It’s been far too long!
View all comments by Ling
I once had a girl I met at the Green Mango on Chaweng Beach for 800 LT. So 500 ST seams possible, especially on cheaper Lamai beach.
View all comments by Santa
This story is completely true.And much more to you suprise was easily done on Samui.As long as your not an obese,stinking pig,with socks under sandals.and the obligatory Singha vest it is very easy to find action at this price and lower.Meet a freelancer in the Bahaus (sadly gone now),buy her a couple of beers,talk to her like a human being,and have a laugh,come closing time when the talk turns to money tell her you will feed her at the food market and she an have a night in the aircon (if your not too cheap to pay for a proper room),and 9 times out of 10 you get your way.Look at it from her point of view the alternative is sharing the floor with 9 other girls who also didnt get lucky,in a bungalow made for 2 people.Chuck her a couple of hundred baht in the morning,or as i did fill up her motorbike with petrol!
View all comments by SwampDonkey
Great post… In stiches throughout most of it…
Cheers!
View all comments by jones
To each his/her own, of course, but keep in mind that you really can’t take it with you. Philip Larkin left a quarter million pounds (back when that was real money) after living on a librarian’s salary at Hull, and I bet when the grim reaper arrived he wished he had gone high end a little more often.
View all comments by Scampering Jack Wilshre
Always a joy to read On Nutter. Great post.
And so true. In good times, I do have the dosh to spend. Sometimes I go out with the stated mission of paying a BF, shagging a hottie and not worrying about money. But when it comes time to pull the trigger, the cheap-pat in me talks the honrny-pat right out of it. They get down off my shoulders and go to Champion for a 39-baht Sangsom-Coke.
By the way, I order 4 drinks just as happy hour is ending at Peppermint. When asked by a quizzical table mate why, I point out the exact same drink that is now 55 baht will be 115 in 5 minutes.
Makes perfect freakin’ sense to me!
Of course, I live in Pattaya and, as you well know, Pattaya in Thai translates to “Cheap Charle Heaven.”
View all comments by Pattaya Ghost
Great read.
Cheers
View all comments by Prufrock
What gets on my goat is the price of beer. The restaurants and bars that I eat in every day of the week are such good value for beer. I normally pay 60-80 Baht for a large Singha, but when I head anywhere near Farang land you can easily double that and more.
I live near Victory Monument so I do expect it to be cheaper than Nana, Asok and the like, but twice the price and more, gimme a break.
I just had dinner with three friends, 8 large Singha and more food than we can eat for less than 800 Baht. That and just discovering the nurses college around the corner. PRICELESS
Only problem is the encroaching beer belly.
View all comments by wineguy
SwampDonkey, true even in BKK.
Two weeks ago I took lovely Emma (thai but born in England) from Gulliver’s to my room at the Landmark, just by providing her bed and breakfast.
On Nutter – thanks for the post
View all comments by Sergio
What’s a barfine? I’ve never had to pay for one of those…. can someone elaborate?
Other than that I’m to cheap to say anything more besides this was enlightening.
View all comments by Canadian Boy
CB – two evenings before I met Emma, I went to Hillary and couldn’t resist and pay 500 BF to take one of the girls, we agreed on 1500 LT – “everything you want”. One minute after crossing the door she turned into the drunken human being I ever saw. Nevertheless I succeed to help her to my room and showered together. Then she asked for 2000. She didn’t remember any agreement and told me that she never went with anybody for 1500. I didn’t pay her and send her back. I guess she only wanted to fill a BF quota.
Where I’m is only 20:47 and miss BKK every night.
Sorry for my broken english.
View all comments by Sergio
Good posting. I always a sucker, and end up paying way too much, like most others.
View all comments by ArtTv
sergio… i feel the pain.
View all comments by Canadian Boy
Really good post! I always enjoy when you ‘lay down some thoughts”!
A lot of this I agree with – have lived in BKK about 14 years now – rarely go to Lower Suk – I have more fun out in ‘Thai Ville” – living “native”!
I cannot remember the last time I BF’ed a girl in Lower Suk or Cowboy – I don’t need to –
Plus I get really tired of the girls ‘piranha’ attitudes at times (yes – not all have one)!
I have a Thai girl ‘yellow pages directory’ categorized on my phone (backed up on my PC) of girls that would be happy going out eating and drinking some beers then spending the night!
This happens here – after you have lived here a while – not all are after money – some just want some fun – after working their asses of more than 60 hours a week!
As far as going out and drinking beers – most places I go out to here in “Thai Ville” – 45 bht for a big bottle of Leo – then I go to Suk and pay 100 bht at least for a small bottle of some beer that is not even my favorite — I just think – I am not getting the value I am used to!
I don’t know the transformation that occurs over time – but you just start doing what the Thai’s do – looking for the best deal here – with everything!
But on the other hand – the Thais can and do really spend money having a good time and ensuring they have ‘face’ materialistically ….
You made some good points in your post — and YES you can have a shit load of fun here without dropping a shit load of money!
View all comments by JDH
I have met many a self respecting cheap charlie who has negotiated a special long-term rate of just paying the daily bar fine, that is on the understanding that the arrangement will endure for at least two weeks. For me, I would rather forgo the discount and enjoy the freedom. But I do love it when the market is left to run its course. It seems loyalty discounts are potentially no less part of the business culture in Pattaya than at Tesco.
View all comments by bassyfarang
11K on an apartment?!?!?! For real? You have got to be living in a dive. I doubt you make a UK level salary.
While it’s true that most Thais earn and spend little, I would say that many, many Bangkok Thais earn and spend way more than the “national” average, and then you. It doesn’t really matter to me what the somtam seller down the soi earns and spends so much as how much the middle class office worker does – that’s who I measure myself against.
It’s the same in NY – in America as a whole, 100K makes you very upper class, in NY city that is barely adequate. So it’s no use telling me that compared to the national average I make tons if I see in my particular city everyone living it up in a way I can’t afford. 11K maybe be a lot to spend for an apartment in Issan, but in BKK it’s chump change.
Generally, you get what you pay for. If you want ugly girls, you don’t have to pay a lot. If you want hot ones, you gotta pay a bit more. Guys who aren’t willing to pay for women are the ones who have no problem getting with the nasty ones. Most of what you get for 500B I would pay 500B to stay AWAY from me!
This “cheap” mentality has always fascinated me and I have never understood it – how can someone care so little about the quality of the women that a few bhat is worth more than a hot lay?!?!?! I’d rather not get laid than get with a nasty ho that will accept 500B.
I really believe this kind of cheapness when you see the middle class to rich Thais spending so much more and in general having a lavish lifestyle really says something about a persons personality, especially if you HAVE the money to spend. Cheap people are generally small minded individuals and have small personalities as well. Personally, though, I think BKK expats are cheap because they are poor without any other fancy reasons.
But this incredible cheapness definitely hurts us as a group, collectively – the best and the hottest girls obviously will only go for guys who are willing to lay out, and if they don’t think it’s farang but guys from another geographic region (closer to Thailand, hint hint), that’s gonna hurt us. But hey, if you can save 10B, who cares if your girl looks like she crawled to Bangkok from Issan through the sewers? You just saved 10B! High five! Someone has his priorities straight!
View all comments by George
I enjoyed this post. But as an occasional tourist in Thailand, I don’t follow the advice. I really don’t mind spreading some wealth around – I think these girls deserve it, and over the short time I’m there, I can afford to be generous.
View all comments by Dan King
Philip: Yes, I remember chatting to you in the Mango about your holidays in Torremelinos that always diverted to Bangkok. As I recall, you live quite near Wigan. You certainly never bought me a drink!
Soi Lawyer: As an American, you can be excused for getting confused about English dialects. Anyone saying ‘Are you ‘aving a laugh?’ is a Cockney and would almost certainly be beaten up for speaking that way in Wigan.
Ghost: On regular trips to Pattaya, a Scottish friend and I used to regularly do the happy hours at Happy (50 baht) and New Living Dolls (39 baht). His record consumption at Happy was 17 vodkas with orange. When the waiter brought his deadline order of eight vodkas on a tray, some nearby Japanese customers gave him the thumbs-up.
George: I now take home more than when I earned a salary of £26,000 in my last UK job. As for my apartment, it is a one-bedroom fully furnished unit (not a studio) in a new condo in Rachada. My balcony looks out on a 60-metre swimming pool. The key factor is that it is a Thai area and 99 per cent of the condo residents are middle-class Thais. That’s why it is such a great deal at 11k a month when some farangs are paying 20k for decaying bedsits on The Reservation.
View all comments by On Nutter
George There are tons of great apartments out there for 11,000 Baht. You just have to walk around till you see a building you like, go in, and most likely they will have apartments empty and will negotiate on price. I just found a two bedroom apartment, fully furnished, pool, gym, sauna parking space (not that I’m brave enough to drive in BKK), and German beer garden within 2 minutes walk for 15,000 Baht.
You mean you actually paid for sex? You sound so awesome that surely the girls were all over you offering you lady(boy) drinks and brown notes to take them home.
A hot lay isn’t dependent what the girl looks like. Some of the most uninspiring sex I’ve ever had has been with the most beautiful girls I’ve ever been with. Maybe you’ll figure that out one day.
I’m guessing you say that 100K makes you very upper class because that’s what you earn. It doesn’t. Class is about more than money, it’s about bearing, and tact, and manner and not being a complete knob.
View all comments by wineguy
Some people are cheap in strange ways. I have one friend who is fairly wealthy and has spent an enormous amount of money (in my book anyway) on a girlfriend – ex-now I should add – buying her a house and land and a nice car and so on. But he won’t go to a restaurant where the beers are over 70 baht – his criteria for where he will eat depends on the price of beer – of which I admit he drinks quite a bit! But I am like – you just spent another 100,000 baht buying her another parcel of land and you won’t spend 80 baht on a beer? Nope.
At least so far and this may change – my attitude is that it’s a lot more fun spending my hard saved money than not spending it – if I go around worrying about an additional 20 baht for beer or taxis or an additional 500 baht for some female company I would go nuts and get ulcers. I am here to have fun, not count every baht. But then I don’t drink so I figure I am already way ahead of most guys in Thailand budget wise!
View all comments by Drronin
On Nutter: I think Soi lawyer is referring to “Extras” by Ricky Gervais, which has a character who uses that saying as his tag line, and is from Wigan.
View all comments by wineguy
I concur George.
Though I will also argue that one must take Farang age and looks into account when it comes to inexpensive/free action. I mean, why go to Go-gos when you can simply have the litter at the After Hours at no cost? Hmmm…
View all comments by Pete
On nutter,
I know, sorry it was an extremely tenuous reference to that show Extras…forgive my rough colonial ways. Always a pleasure reading you stuff.
View all comments by The Soi Lawyer
George – The BKK market is currently flooded with brand new, fully furnished, one bedroom condos for rent. 10-12K per month is the going rate. A “dive” that has A/C, internet, cable TV etc, within walking distance to the BTS/Skytrain, can be had for 4-5K.
View all comments by Rich Bingham
On nutter and others about cheap apartments – if what you say is true, then my hat off to you. I haven’t lived in BKK for about 6 months, and when I was there decent pads in prime locations ran minimum 20K, and even then you’re not getting anything fantastic. Things must have drastically changed. I still doubt anything even remotely livable is to be had for 4-5 K though – surely that’s an exaggeration.
Drronin – of course I pay for sex. I’m a loser who can’t get laid in the World, like all of us, including you. That’s why we’re in BKK. No use denying it. All I care about in a girl is how hot her body and face is. It doesn’t take that much for a girl to be good in bed, all she has to do is move around a tiny bit and just lie there looking smoking hot with a young fit bod and adorable face. Guys who pretend that they’d take a girl who’s “good in bed” (whatever that even means – she wiggles a bit more? How much does she have to wiggle in the end of the day? Are her moans louder?) over a hot girl just tell themselves that to console themselves for the fact that they can’t actually GET a hot girl. But every guy really wants a young hot girl even if she doesn’t do jumping jacks in bed.
I used to make a bit over 100K while living in NY. After taxes I brought home about 6K. Consdering that decent pads in NY begin at 2K, with all the other expenses of living I had a barely adequate salary as a single male – I’d hate to think what it’d be like if I had a family! Compared to most of the guys living like kings in NYC, I wasn’t doing so well, but objectively I was in the top 5% of earners in the US, so I shouldn’t be complaining, right?
View all comments by George
Bravo! (and I don’t mean that BTITT drivel). These cheap charlie ideals should be required viewing on the plane ride to BKK.
@drronin – his 20thb savings on small items add up over time. That’s how he is able to buy those 100,000thb plots of land.
View all comments by Canadian Girl
@ George
I dont think you get it bro’ .. Its the story of something that happens over time. I pay 6,000 for a 2 bed/lounge out in Thaiville OK, no refinements, but its clean and full of respectable working Thai families.
Its not that we are cheap, it’s something that evolves over time and .. Barfines .. Why ? When there are plenty of office girls here, plugged into the internet 24-7, they are everywhere .. just need a smile, persistance, a little Thai and a bit of charm. Maybe, you dont have that ability, and should stick to laying out $ on the reservation on hotties. Each to his own.
@ Nutter .. Thanks for the early morning chuckle.
View all comments by reason273
Ah…. a bit of quality writing…. always a pleasure to read your stuff ON
View all comments by Mo Chitter
Naaaa, it’s all good. You people go your way and I’ll go my way. I myself am not cheap and like enjoying the better things in life. I also don’t measure myself against the Thai working class and their lifestyle. I’m against the philosophy of being cheap. (and people, enough already with the not paying for sex, we all know you all do it, apparently you just pay 500B for it….and I do mean “it”, at that price)
View all comments by George
Steve from Wigan is on the right track but probably for the wrong reason. Barfines are rarely on the venue’s books and just provide the venue operator with a slush fund; some goes to pay off the police and other mafia organizations, and the rest goes in his pocket untaxed. And to think that paying barfines accomplishes anything except perpetuating corruption is simply foolish. It doesn’t “help keep the bars going” since the owners take back any shortfall from the girls’ salaries if they miss their quotas.
View all comments by MongerSEA
@MongerSEA: As a bar owner I have to completely disagree with your stance on barfines. There are different circumstances to consider of course, but the bar typically pays a Salary to the girl. If the girl is barfined, she is not working at the bar, but the bar is still paying a salary. The barfine pays that Salary to the bar. The barfine also covers the cost in general for the bar employing the girl. Bars have different policies of course, and quotas certainly play a role, but the way you describe the barfine is just wrong.
The more successful bars with the hottest girls can typically institute more stringent quotas, but for the most part the barfines help pay the girls salaries. Paying the barfine does ‘help keep the bars going’ because it not only helps with the girls salaries but with other expenses (paying the police is not slush fund, it’s an expense just like paying the electric).
The Mango doesn’t currently employ bargirls, but if a Service Girl wants to pay her bar to take the night off, and we have enough staff to cover, she can.
The old Mango did have bargirls. We used to pay them 8-10k Salary but because we weren’t as busy as a GoGo, barfine-wise, our quotas were not as stringent. If a girl just made 1 or 2 barfines in a month, she would get a warning. If the next month she did 1 or 2 barfines, we would move them into Service if a spot was available. We did institute a barfine bonus as well where they received 100 baht of the barfine. Most bars don’t do this, and if they do it’s only after a certain amount of barfines.
Bottom line, barfines are revenue to the bar no matter how you slice it. You are of course helping the bar out by paying the barfine, and helping the girl out as she will typically have a quota so she can keep her job and get a salary. The barfine also gives you some piece of mind. No, IT’S NOT A GUARANTEE OF ANY KIND, but if a girl you barfined drugs you and rips you off, you at least have a chance at going back to the bar to bust the girl. That’s pretty much the only difference from taking a freelancer and not paying a barfine.
View all comments by pmmp
it’s easy for the brits to be cheap
i’ve seen the women they go with
View all comments by warren buffet
This was an entertaining read…I wish I could put some of the action here into practice, but I always seem to get goosed.
Isnt Scottish and cheap actually a synonym?
View all comments by Indu WangZi
Uncle Dave said “Ahh Wigan……….The Paris of the North….. :+)”
I thought that was Leeds….or Scunthorp.
I’ve been to a lot of places, but the scariest place I’ve ever been was Sunderland in the 90′s. The train stopped due to rail works, and the locals came out to stone it.
View all comments by wineguy
@George
I am in complete agreement with Georges first comment. I would not waste 500Bt to shag an ugly wench. What is the point when I would not even give a second glance to her in the real world. Its all about the quality of the girl – paying the going rate for a Rainbow 1 babe is still far cheaper than the equivalent in Japan or North America.
That said if there are dudes that have permanent beer goggles on and want to shag the uglies for cheap that just leaves more of the hotties for me
View all comments by maverick8888
20 baht is my record.
In general I’m more of a spender though, and can think of no greater pleasure than spunking great wads of cash on drugs & hookers.
View all comments by Combover
I just don’t get the wisdom from the man from wigan, 20p for a condom cheaper than a bus ride, Haveing a shag in a toilet to save money maybe I’m missing something I don’t surrpose enjoyment is a facter but the joy to tell that he got a shag for 500 thb bet’s the hell out of me. I never understand people who state what they earn WHY??? do I get a chance to spend it!!!! I think not, Its all in the mind small as they my be, perhaps trying to hard to be “The Man”.
View all comments by David
Here’s how I feel about the whole thing. I want, what I want, when I want it and I don’t give a damn what it costs. Remember you only go around once, get what you want while you can. You could be hit by a bus on any given hour of the day.
View all comments by THE MAN
THE MAN…. I agree.
Bloody peasants.
View all comments by Daywalker
I’d like to see a bus make it up here to the ninth floor
View all comments by doctorbond
I think it get pretty relative. For someone who moves into a condo with a view from previous cramped loft in NYC or Paris or mumbai Im sure 12K sounds like a great deal. On the other hand in places like Austin or Charolette you can get mansions for the same price as the aNYC loft.
Same same for the beers , It would be difficult to complain about a 20Bht hike in beer prices if you are used to paying anything close to $5 for a pint.
Wether you make 100K in Ny or 20k bht in Bkk i think one has every rite to look for VFM deals. What stops anyone from buying a couple of extras as the happy hour ends. In fact if you know that happy hour ends at 8 but are foolish enough to enter the bar at 8.01 i doubt any one would be paying you more than 10K bht.
Ive shagged girls for free and ive baid a lot, however i have to agree it is the experience that does it for me not just the looks. I mean ive had very dissapointing ones with soapy girls for 4K and simply had the time of my like with a nurse from bumrungrad who might not be a beauty goddess but she knew her moans and groans. George if you think a lil wiggle doesnt go a long way i dont know why ur in BKK .
Cheapest people i ran into were these typical 4 paki guys who were trying to nego a package deal with 1 girl on beach road for around 1K bht.I mean i almost heard them pleading bloody wankers.
One time it actually happened that at 6 in the morning in insomnia i had 600 bht and a boner. I asked a girl dancing close to me if she would take whatever was left after paying for a ST room at tonys and a condom, she happily accepted and in fact we stayed for over 5 hours and more than 3 shags , come on guys this is the LoS anything can happen
View all comments by maximus
Maximum. The thing is George isn’t in BKK. He’s back in NYC, and wishing he was here because then he’d have a chance of getting laid.
View all comments by wineguy
Any realtors in da’ house?
View all comments by Canadian boy
I am not a condo or high rise building type of guy — just seems the guards and other people like to be in “your business” (my 1st experience).
So I opt for the House (2 story) nice garden, almost a western kitchen, western bathrooms – not furnished though (never mind that I accumulated over the years). You have to get your own cable and internet connections but that is really easy to do — quiet dead end clean sub soi – all houses painted nicely – mostly old Chinese Thais that live around me – good people!
About 10 minutes to get to the BTS or 10 minutes the other direction to get to the motorway … a shit load of places to eat or have a beer all day and night – about 50 Karaoke clubs on the way to Srinakarin — girls everywhere!
The first 8 years living here I was charged 8K bht per month – beginning of this year they ‘asked’ me if I thought it was fair to increase the rent 1K bht per month – I said – fair to me!
I have painted inside and out every year for about 5K labor plus the materials — I have redone some things in the house — landlord does not care — do what you want he says to me —
It is my home which is clean, comfortable, quiet, safe and really quite convenient for me!
I live in a very nice house and with all included (internet, cable, water, electricity) about 12K per month!
So if anyone thinks because you pay < 20K bht a month 'that you live in a dump' quite frankly they do not know what they are talking about!
View all comments by JDH
A condo/unit/or what ever for $360usd a month mmmmmmmmm Let the good time roll, Lets get back to the reson we love los
View all comments by David
Paging Unchinowetback…. Paging Unchinowetback…. Please report to tfs2m
View all comments by Canadian Boy
How do I get the Soi Lawyers email address or phone #?
View all comments by JDH
SPEAKING OF VALUE FOR YOUR MONEY IN BKK:
My friend lives on Suk Soi 71 and 2 weeks ago, we went around on his motorbike to some of those Christmas-lit karaokee places.
Of course, you need to be willing to try new things in order to even think about going. These places are spotted all over Bangkok and generally have a few cute Thai girls sitting outside. Unless you are fluent in Thai, they don’t have published names.
After driving around about 10 minutes and now officially outside of farangland, we made our first stop. We were the first farangs to ever step in this place according to the manager, a mid-30s woman who spoke decent English. We were the only customers at the time and it was around 900pm.
She broke down how it works:
-The beers are LARGE bottles and range from 75-95B each.
-Buckets of ice are 20B.
-The girls will sit with you and sing Thai songs you select if you want to. The cost is 100Bish an hr (varies +/- 20B an hr depending on where u go)
-The songs are 10B each. I know several Thai songs that I thought would be fun to hear on the huge sound system. (Earn the Star, Bew Kalayanee, Tai Oratai, Takkatan Cholada, etc) They play the music videos too. Of course, the girls love this music and the atmosphere is fun and lively.
-If we wanted to take the girls out, she could arrange it (we didnt, so I dont know exactly how the procedure works, but I doubt it was expensive)
The girls are fun, and most speak a little English (just ask who speaks the best English) some are former Cowboy/Nana girls. One was a 5’10 hottie that worked at Cactus Bar on Cowboy.
There are NO ladydrinks — but if you want to offer the girl(s) drinks, they get a smaller glass and drink the beer with you. Its awesome. The menus and song books are all in Thai too, but don’t let that discourage you.
Overall, in an hour’s worth we drank about 3 large bottles, had 2 girls sitting/drinking with us, and played about 6 songs. 1 bucket of ice too. The total bill was around 510B, and it was a ton of fun. We each tipped the girls 50B each on top — but they didn’t ask for it and didn’t indicate that they wanted a tip. Maybe not appropriate and outside of the standard procedure, but I think it was OK.
We walked to the next similar-looking karaokee establishment about 5 minutes away and it was even more fun. The prices were really similar. This time there were some Korean tourists as well having a good time, and 1 Thai policeman drinking by himself with a nice looking girl he chose. One of the girls wanted me to go with her when we got the checkbin and she said it was 100B for the bar, 1,000B longtime. Wow, what a bargain!! But it was early and we wanted to go to at least one more karaokee place. So we paid around 430B and moved on. (Had 2 large beers this time, not 3)
Walked about 2 mins, and sure enough found another local karaokee bar. Had some really cute girls and very hands-on too. The whole time, we were not very touchy with the girls because afterall, we are guests in a local establishment that NEVER has farang!
Overall, 3 karaokee bars in about 3 hrs, 7 LARGE bottles of beer, lots of cute girls, good environment (very decorative and comfortable inside and very good sound systems) and super-cheap beer. No lady drinks and no hassle. It was a lot of fun and I can’t wait to go back and hot some new places. Total outing was about 1,380B (divided by 2 = 690B each, 850B-900Bish with tips to each girl)
These are HIDDEN GEMS!! Go now!!!!
I’ll post a full review on the next outing when I get more information on “the scene” From what I understand, they are open every night, usually not very busy (most don’t even have customers) and some close around 4am and later.
View all comments by Kampot83
I know of some ‘great’ karaoke joints out where I live — one on Soi 29 (in Thai Ville) called Ting Tong (there are so many) –
BTW – you need to speak at least ‘fair’ Thai — then you know and understand the score ….
There are some real ‘stunners’ in some of these places –
So off we go to –
A 5 story place (3) really large rooms on each floor – with rocking sound systems in each room
You can reserve the room for 200 bht per hour – I mean a really, really big room – large sofas – clean – nicely decorated
The girls so many….
You can have one girl 200 bht per hour entertain you in the rooms — so since the rooms are so large we get 10 girls (2000 bht per hour) and let them take care of us
It leads to almost intercourse — but they cannot do it there —- so we take away the best out of the 10 — myself and two other Thai guys – usually 2 girls each and we go our separate ways — I live 3 blocks from the place!
Ok – so off I go with a couple — go eat – see what is up with them – some come home with me – some don’t — but I am very careful who I take home — because the Thais LOVE to gossip — so if I do take home — they are out early like 4:30 or 5:00 am!
The ‘take away’ fine for the girl is not money – but to ensure you either buy a bottle of booze and leave there or leave your half empty bottle — just to make sure you come back to drink!
These girls really like to have fun and it is not about just getting paid to fuck —- yea — you can FLAME me on this statement — but it is true!
A lot of Thai guys that go into these places (that have a good job, car (or 2), house and family) are NOT there to ‘bang’ these girls – but just have some SEXY company — some Westerners – just don’t seem to understand this!
These ‘off the reservation’ places to go in Thai Ville are an absolute ‘blast’ especially if you are clean and dress nicely and have a ‘soft’ mouth!
View all comments by JDH
@JDH: Soi Lawyer website is http://integrity-legal.com/
View all comments by pmmp
Condos & Hoes.
I just learned a “Porn Storm” is…
Definition: When you’re browsing the internet for porn in all the wrong places, and end up with a million pop-up windows.
Example Usage
“Hey, why’s the computer off? Did you reboot last night?
Yeah, I was hit with a porn storm, and had to shut down. For every window I closed, two more would pop-up.
View all comments by Canadian Boy
@PMMP
Thanks!
View all comments by JDH
DEFINITION of “Latent Porn Storm”: using your granny’s computer and picking up a nasty little virus. When granny innocently goes to check the status of her on-line Tesco shopping order, flashing pop-ups appear (storm-like) from nowhere depicting seemingly impossible rear insertions that just will not go away (with full surrounds sound too). External IT support is the only answer.
Please tell me it is not necessary to spend big in order to have a big personality and mind out there in the sunny climbs of sexpat land. Have I gotta have a buffed gold coloured Cadillac with free spinning shiny chrome hubcaps if I am to have any hope of being judged fully rounded out in the bars and taverns of Bangkok? I suspect I would gain derision and respect in equal quantities….what’s a guy to do. Over pay and we are irresponsibly encouraging expectations that are too high, under pay and we risk casting the white man out as a pariah race of cheap charlies, maybe I should stick to internet porn, the mainstay of life here in the west.
View all comments by bassyfarang
Classic read!
If I ever win millions in the lottery, I’m going to spend half of it on beer and hookers. Then I’ll waste the rest of it…
View all comments by sip
Thai Karaoke places are ok if you like thai music at full volume and enjoy sitting at ridiculous booths from Bob’s Big Boy with singing like a fruit. Going solo is lame and potentially dangerous so make sure you go with a group of your friends. One person in your group must speak thai otherwise you will not understand the price structure and could run up a big bill without knowing it. Mind your manners as generally thai guy’s are NOT keen on farangs being there to shag their women.
Hey pmmp, why does the new mango focus on service girls and no bargirls? Is it to attract less attention and therefore not have to contribute as much tea money?
I would love it if there were a hands on hottie or two that wasn’t there to just pour drinks or play pool.
View all comments by Mango Fanboy
@MangoFanboy: Still on the fence of what to do here before we head into high season. It’s like SimCity, you tweak one thing and it changes another. By not having bargirls, I notice more couples, a few more freelancers (although still rare), and some guys like not being bothered. It feels more like a pub, rather than a beer bar. However, there are guys like yourself that would like a little more eye candy and availability. You do have to pay more tea money if you have bargirls, but we already pay that since we had them just a few months ago. Decisions, Decisions. Will provide an update in a future Weekly.
View all comments by pmmp
George – Maybe you always pay more because your the type i mentioned in my piece.Using your own words ‘I’m a loser who can’t get laid in the World’.
Being cheap is not about having no money,i travel to Thailand business class,i like to stop in decent hotels,but just because im in a different country im not going to start paying over the odds for sex.Its people like you,who pay whatever the girls ask for,that makes it harder for everyone else to get a good deal.Maybe because its so hard for you to get layed at home you feel you have to spend like a Japanese tourist when in the Kingdom,but dont knock those of us the have the confidence to get a better deal.
Warren Buffet – You must be American,irony is fully explained on Wiki.
View all comments by SwampDonkey
Maybe he has to pay more cause he has to.
View all comments by Canadian Boy
On Nutter: Nice to meet you in Lamai. I didn’t realise that our night out was going to make it on to the worldwide web but your report is accurate, so no harm done.
Calm down lads. We are talking the price of a shag in a third world country here so its up to the individual what he chooses to pay. I think 500 baht is a decent rate for a short time. Plenty of Thais would have to work for three days to get that much. If the likes of George want to pay a lot more, up to them. Anyway, it is up to the girl if she agrees to go for 500. If they say no, I just move on. Plenty say yes.
As for barfines, they are just bullshit. If more people were like me and refused to pay them, the bar owners would be forced to stop treating the girls like slaves.
BTW, great site.
View all comments by wigansteve
I agree –
Need to go with at least one other person (pref more) and know a little Thai (I do)
But now that I know roughly what the prices are, I’m not too worried about being ripped off. It never hurts to ask BEFORE what something costs. Of course we mind our manners and we don’t go looking for girls to take out.
If you don’t like loud Thai music and uncomfortable booths, stick to your air-conditioned gogos playing Western music charging 140B for a small beer. Read up and highlight your favorite places in the latest Lonely Planet shitbook and let everyone know how cool the “real” Thailand is. However, that’s not why I moved 9,000 miles from home.
The fact is that all of these places we went were comfortable unless you are 125 kilos+ and the music isn’t over the top unless you are really old and can’t handle it.
They all have Western music to make you feel more at home too if that’s what you want…
View all comments by Kampot83
Don’t forget the hassle for ladydrinks, paying barfines, and dealing with pushy attitudes…. No thanks. I like to try new places too.
I went with a Thai friend to a local karaoke place in Chonburi not long ago and it was a ton of fun.
View all comments by Oxxy_nt
So much discussion already.
A few thoughts.
Great piece by Onnutter!
I’ve seen lovely rooms walking distance from the train station for less than 3,000 baht per month. I looked at a nice 2 br, 2 bath, 2 story house a five minute walk from BTS in Ratchada recently for 10K per month — the going rate for the area. I decided not to rent it and stayed put; I pay 7K for a decent room with a location that works for me.
I don’t understand the idea that paying a girl 500 baht means that she’s ugly or less than stunning, while paying more is some guarantee of quality. We’re talking people. I’ve had bad shags for 4,000 baht and great shags for free here, and I never really go with a girl that I find unattractive.
I spend a lot of time in Thai areas and at Thai clubs. They can be great fun whether you speak Thai or not, but easier to use if you have even a little language.
Again, great piece ON!
View all comments by Werewolf
@kampot83 and anyone else going to a karoke joint…becareful out there as it’s very easy to get on the losing end of an misunderstanding.
If you’ve been listening to the thai news channels you will probably know this but if not there was a report about a thai guy and his girl friend that went to a karoke place in BKK. When they got their checkbin, they were shocked to see it was a whopping 30,000THB. It was padded with overpriced drinks, lady drinks, etc. The bouncer was intimidating them to pay up or they could not leave..even trying to take the gold necklace off the girl as collateral.
Long story short is they put 7,000THB on plastic then left the karaoke joint and called the police. Of course since tea money was current nothing was done until it was broadcast on the news media. Now more customers are coming forward with the same claims about the place so the s is starting to hit the fan.
It’s funny to hear it happening to Thais as this is just like the long time Patpong sex show rip-off us farangs having been dealing with for years.
View all comments by Mango Fanboy
Jeez…there’s a surprise..a guy from wigan with no class or style. He is lucky though, when he’s dribbling his last onto his bib in the council nursing home in lower wigan, his final thought will be he has stashed 192,000 baht inside his piss stained matress…and nobody will ever ever find it…he hee..dribble dribble.
View all comments by rope-a-dope
@pmmp – “By not having bargirls, I notice more couples, a few more freelancers (although still rare), and some guys like not being bothered. It feels more like a pub, rather than a beer bar.”
I like the mango the way it is just now. Feels like an oasis of calm.
View all comments by LMW
laughing, my babe said yesterday that, while my nickname is Phagwan, my real name is Kinion…
oh… and BTW George, one can live in a very, very very good room for 11k… and I mean sunniest corner room with massive balcony on the top floor of a new building in Ratchada… I’ve just rent one for 9k… including wifi, cable/satellite TV, on a very quiet soi….
View all comments by katechon
“I don’t understand the idea that paying a girl 500 baht means that she’s ugly or less than stunning, while paying more is some guarantee of quality.”
Maybe George is ugly an’ less stunning and thats why he has to pay more.
Just kidding Georgie.
View all comments by Canadian Boy
@LMW: Thx for the feedback. Tough call. Will probably end up with just a few so the pub feel is maintained.
View all comments by pmmp
Be glad,
Landmark, 26K bath for 6 nights (company money), discount price because I came a few times/year.
And always happy to be back.
View all comments by Sergio
good story and very true the longer you come too thailand and live.you become a cheap charlie
View all comments by geoff davies
rope a dope – do you wear sandles with socks?,are you the obese sweaty singha singlet wearing person i mentioned?,why are you so bitter about wigansteve and where he lives?
View all comments by SwampDonkey
When making comments, it is quite easy for people to pick their side of the argument and put forth some flimsy “evidence” to support their claim. And of course, will leave out whatever details that don’t help their argument.
For example: “oh… and BTW George, one can live in a very, very very good room for 11k…”
Yes, but if you don’t live there either, then why boast about it? You may as well just make up any old thing as fact. 11K is a high price for a studio and a low price for a one bedroom. Which is it? How big is it sq/m ? I think George was referring to a one bedroom. Does it have a kitchen?
Location matters a lot in Bangkok, or any big city. Somewhere up Ratchada, lot of traffic around there. How far up Ratchada? And how far deep is the location on a soi away from Ratchada? Those things factor in on the price.
A few more points: the apartment is sunny? Great, how much will the electric bill be, more than 2000/month? Does the cable/satellite (which one is it) tv have any channels in English
Is the tv a wide screen flat panel? etc.
As far as paying for girls goes, that’s another issue. Thailand has many different options. You can mix and match and take advantage of whichever options you like. And at any given point in time, some may be more or less convenient for you.
For example, one the face of it, the deal offered at a high end soapy massage parlor is over-priced at 2000 to 4000 baht. However, if one wants to keep something on the down low or maybe has limited spare time to fool around, then seeing some random cheap or freebie girl is not an option, and the soapie place offers convenience at a price.
As for beer bars and freelance areas, yes you can find a pretty looking girl. For some reason, a few girls don’t work the gogo bar scene, even though they could, and their rate is consequently much cheaper. It may take awhile to find this gem. Sure it is fun to look, but it costs time and effort.
More likely, sooner or later, if you put a lot of time into the search for 500 baht girls and hang around that scene a lot, then you are happy with it, since that’s what you’re into, figured it out the rules of that game. Fine, but it’s not for everybody, so need to force it on others or insist that is somehow a better deal.
As for gogo’s, I have enjoyed some amazing girls, but some can also be a real disappointment. It is so hard to predict. So I am not advocating paying more as necessarily better. Personally, I think that discussion of all of the different possible ways of getting laid should be promoted. And that no one should look down on another person for the choice they are making.
View all comments by desperado
@ geoff davies – Is that you boyyo?
View all comments by rossu
Wow, this guy from Wigam is just sad – yes, he’s right, it’s the girl’s decision if she agrees, or not, though for 500 Baht you might as well just jack off, as that’s most likely the level of quality and performance to get out of this deal.
Still, impressive set of balls to be that cheap.
View all comments by DaffyDuck
Desperado
Right on, you nailed it.
View all comments by THE MAN
Haven’t been here in ages but funny to see the first post I read about being cheap. I have been about a bit and if you want cheap how about this place in Prague.
You can have sex with as many girls as you like until 5am when the place closes.
It’s totally FREE..
Ah the Catch… Your LIVE!
http://www.bigsister.net/en/index.php
View all comments by Young Royal
@desperado
Great comment.
I just meant to point out that it’s possible to get a very nice room at about 10k.
Mine is about 36 sq/m, on a quiet soi in Ratchada — for 9k, with Wifi Internet and cable/tv (which includes CNN, BBC, FoxNews etc and plenty of English channels). No TV, so I bought a good one at Fortune.
No kitchen per say, yet the monster balcony (which includes running water) provides enough place to set up a cooking area.
No fridge but it’s easy to buy a small one for 5k.
The key, I think, is to look for a new, real clean building in an area you like.
View all comments by katechon