Any Port in a Storm Part 2: The Long Weekend by fender

Posted by fender | Blog, Costa Rica, Reader Submissions, Trip Report | Posted on June 1st, 2009

Part 1

So, let’s say you’re a regular visitor to Thailand, but you’re still cashing your U.S. paycheck.  You get to go to Disneyland twice, maybe three times a year.  You’ve been thinking about making The Move, but with the real estate market sucking up the equity in your condo, the stock market sucking up the value of your portfolio, and your company’s stock options underwater, early (voluntary) retirement isn’t looking likely.  The job market isn’t exactly sunshine and light either, at least not from the candidate’s point of view, so you’re not likely to find a job in Asia that some laid-off schmo wouldn’t undercut you for.  So, for the time being, you’re staying Stateside.


Now, let’s say you just got back from your latest 3 week jaunt to Bangkok.  Or Hong Kong, or Manila or Singapore or Seoul or wherever it is you went on your Asia p4p binge.  It’s a real effort, and a lot of money, to get to these places, so you stay as long as you can, and now you’re out of vacation days.  So what’s the first thing you do on your return home?  Well, duh, you go online and book your next trip.  Let’s see, 6, 8 months out, you can work in a 10 day stay.  Cool.  Okay, found my date, 7 months out.  That’s 31 weeks.  214 days.  Shit.  Is there anything more depressing than those first few weeks back?  How the fuck are you going to get through 214 days?

Can you find a time to work in a quick trip?  Forget it.  It takes 20 hours to get there and 20 hours to get back.  That’s 2 whole days, a whole weekend’s worth of travel right there.  Boss Man won’t allow it.

Well, can you take a sick day?  Do you get Memorial Day or July 4th off?  Cause if so, you can hop on a flight to San Jose, Costa Rica and, in about 3 to 6 hours (depending on where you live in the U.S.), book yourself into the Hotel Del Rey, and spend a long weekend in what is basically a Central American version of the Nana Hotel.  This country, a northern, western hemisphere neighbor of America, does a pretty good job of keeping the visiting punters satisfied.  It doesn’t replace Asia for me, but it certainly satisfies the craving.  Like a nicotine patch, I guess.  It’s a good analogy: CR girls are called ‒ticas”, and a lot of girls from nearby Nicaragua (called ‒nicas”) come over to ply their trade too.  So it’s a nica-tica patch.  (I’m so freakin’ witty, I don’t know how the panties stay on when I’m around.)

I just got back from my first visit, and it was rock solid.  I got most of my pre-trip data from the website costaricaticas.com, which has a lot more info than I can possibly give here, and fully prepared me for what to expect.

First, there are lots and lots of MPs, and if you see a girl you like you can bang her now or take her to your hotel:

Bugs: ‒Would you like to bang me now or wait ’till we get to the hotel?”
Daffy: ‒Bang her now, bang her now.”
Bugs: ‒Be quiet.  He doesn’t have to bang you now.”
Daffy: ‒Well I say he DOES have to bang me now, so bang me now!

(like I said, witty!  Panties!)

There are also strip clubs and discos, which I didn’t get to, but looks like a lot of p4p happens there too.  Many of the strip clubs have bedrooms for rent.  Sounds kinda like a go-go, but I hear it’s a lot pricier.

And there are pick-up bars, where the working girls gather.  These are FL bars, pure and simple.  They might as well be lifted right out of Bangkok.  The Blue Marlin Bar in the Hotel Del Rey is one, but there are several congregated in the ‒Gringo Gulch” area, and all over town.  Sportsman’s Lodge is another, right nearby, where a lot of expats and visitors gather (one told me it was the punters’ frat house).  These places have lots and lots of girls, and a solid 3:1 ratio at least.  If you’re staying in the Del Rey, you can take the elevator down, grab someone, and go back up. 24/7.  If not staying there, hop in a cab from and to your hotel.

So here are some differences between CR and Asia (BKK primarily), and whether they’re a negative or a positive:

-The girls: they’re Latinas.  Double duh.  More like J-Lo than Girly Berry.  Bigger butts, bigger tits.  Some are part Asian.  I liked the Colombianas the best, but I didn’t have a statistically significant sample.  I think the ratio of girls with kids is higher than I’ve experienced in Asia, but some of the CR girls with kids were so tight and flawless you’d never know the difference.  Girls who have kids at 16 seem to be able to get their bodies back into pretty good shape by the time they’re 18, and they probably don’t even need to do any non-bedroom related exercising!  Personally, I like Asian girls better than Latinas in general, but there are some Latina looks I’m crazy for (Thalia, for example), and others not so much (such as Selena).  Also, some bars, including the Blue Marlin at the Del Rey, are open 24 hours and always have girls available.  Obviously a positive.

-The travel: definite positive.  5 hour flight for me.  Same as going coast to coast.

-Accommodations: not as good as BKK.  This is a much smaller city.  You won’t find a Westin, Marriott or Hyatt in Gringo Gulch, and there aren’t that many uber-nice hotels outside the Gulch either.  Also, the best hotels aren’t necessarily guest-friendly.  There are lots and lots of very nice smaller hotels, though, with free breakfasts and friendly, attentive staff.

-The cost: well, the airfare is lower, and the hotels are roughly the same price for the same quality.  Short-time sessions cost around $60-$100, but the per-hour cost is higher, because sessions are generally 1 hour as opposed to 2 in BKK.  It’s all subject to negotiation, of course, but long-time initial quotes (called ‒toda la noche”, Spanish for ‒all night”) were $250-$300.  Booze, food and taxi costs are about the same.

-The sessions: while all sessions are YMMV, I think there’s less of an ingrained GFE attitude in CR than in Thailand, so this is a negative.  In BKK, you make a deal with a girl, and there’s a good chance she’ll act like she’s in love with you (no guarantee, of course).  In CR, it was a bit more business-like, but this could be a result of my not knowing the ropes in a new culture.  I plan on going back, so time will tell…  Reading the internets, it sounds like there’s lots and lots and lots of GFE in CR too.  You have to put more thought into negotiating up front for what you want, though.

-On the plus side, getting a porn star 3-way seems to be WAAAAY easier in CR than BKK.  In Thailand, girls who do a lesbian show at a go-go won’t necessarily recreate it for you in your hotel.  In CR, it seemed like it’s pretty much understood that if you’re taking 2 girls to your room, girl-on-girl comes standard.  At least that’s how it turned out for me.  This is a DEFINITE positive.

-On the whole, the attitude towards p4p seems to be much closer to Asia than America, especially in the gray areas.  Y’all know what I mean: SSB & the others have written about it time and time again, so I won’t rehash, but it’s a poor country where people are doing what they need to do to help themselves and their families, so short-term ‒dating” of non working girls can easily happen, as long as you have some rapport, the girl has something to show for her time and she saves enough face to not look like a total ‘ho to her friends and families.

-Safety: everyone says not to walk around outside at night, which you don’t have to do as there are taxis everywhere anyway.  But there’s no Miracle Mile.  Always be smart.

-Expats & fellow punters: every gringo I met was very, very friendly, welcoming and willing to share their knowledge (as were all the Costa Ricans, for that matter).  The punting community is definitely a family here, as it is in Asia.

-Attitude.  Summed up by the saying ‒pura vida”, which basically is the Spanish equivalent of the mai ben rai attitude.  Enjoy life and celebrate.  In bed.  For money.

Like I said, it’s a great way to spend a few days, or longer.  A lot of folks have been to both and prefer CR to Asia.  I’m only dealing with the mongering here, obviously, but I’m told that there’s great fishing, hiking and golf, there are casinos, and they get all the NFL, NBA and MLB games at regular times!  I’m already planning my next trip!

20 comments
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20 Responses to “Any Port in a Storm Part 2: The Long Weekend by fender”

  1. IrishLager says:
    June 1, 2009 at 4:57 pm

    Went there in ’99. My first international mongering trip and it was a real eye opener. Stayed at the Del Rey and primarily pulled from the Blue Marlin. Place was absolutely rammed with all shades of Latina every day and night. Pulled a few from a disco down the way where the black Dominicans and Carribean girls mostly hang. It was 10 years ago and my memory has faded so I forgot the name, but some of these girls were quite stunning. I remember being cat called while walking the streets of San Jose quite often by just seemingly regular girls that were very friendly, which doesn’t seem to happen too much here in Thailand anymore. Maybe I’m jaded after 13 odd trips over.
    In addition, the Del Rey has a full on sportsbook and I think I remember slots and video poker machines, so you can get your gambling fix as well. All the vices in one spot.
    Great beaches and resorts too. Jaco Beach has monster waves, but kind of a crappy beach. Not dirty really, but no sand. Hard ground and rocks. Manuel Antonio is a beautiful beach. Palm trees, sand, lots of honeymooning couples and the ubiquitous American monger/holiday Tica girlfriend couple.
    May be time for a return visit. I’ve had Thai tunnel vision since coming here in 2003, but CR is indeed very doable in a 3-4 day weekend from the US.

    View all comments by IrishLager

  2. Maz says:
    June 1, 2009 at 5:56 pm

    great info.
    Any info on how mexico rates, and other latino locations ??

    View all comments by Maz

  3. THE MAN says:
    June 1, 2009 at 6:01 pm

    Sounds like things have changed when I was there in the eighties. The north side was not a place to go to unless you had an Army with you. Lived out in Escazu, gun shots every night, walls around every house topped with razor wire, bars on all of the doors and windows. Bars on windows in high rises es up to about the tenth floor.
    Went to Jaco beach, black sand, primitive. Flew up to Ocota beach on a three engine prop plane with one located in the tail and bench seats, nice place, good food, good lodgings, dog shit airplane.
    Granted I did have my own honey but I saw nothing in the three months that we were there that would hold a candle to Thailand when it comes to women. I really liked the black beans and rice in the morning with eggs.

    View all comments by THE MAN

  4. silbundio says:
    June 1, 2009 at 9:25 pm

    I’ve been to Costa Rica a couple of times. Once San Jose, once Jaco Beach. I pretty much agree with the “it’s OK, but it’s not Asia” opinion. If it wasn’t close to the US I’m not sure If I would’ve bothered to go more than once.

    I think the thing that makes me feel indifferent about CR is the general vibe of the country. It’s a very sedate place that has none of the Asian-type buzz about it. I’d love to go there for an extended period and tour the country with a companion because of the low amount of hassles (everyone is very helpful and mellow) and because it is a very beautiful place. But, as far as doing the single man p4p adventure thing, Asia is a lot more attractive as far as I’m concerned.

    View all comments by silbundio

  5. Scampering Jack Wilshere says:
    June 2, 2009 at 1:01 am

    Never been there but some friends love it. They’re big hikers/nature types so they enjoy both the scenery and, well, the scenery. They don’t speak too highly of San Jose but like the beach/resort thing.

    I’d probably prefer it to Asia as I dig the latinas big time, but I’m holding out for a trip to Sao Paulo.

    View all comments by Scampering Jack Wilshere

  6. MSB says:
    June 2, 2009 at 7:23 am

    Is life in the US really that bad that your entire life is dedicated to a couple of weeks shagging some Thai whore?

    View all comments by MSB

  7. bkk22 says:
    June 2, 2009 at 8:56 am

    @MSB: I think they prefer the term “service provider”.

    View all comments by bkk22

  8. Quagmire says:
    June 2, 2009 at 10:02 am

    Good writeup, wow, part two was a long time in the making! I feel your pain, the only thing that keeps me going is the prospect of heading to BKK.

    View all comments by Quagmire

  9. Julian says:
    June 2, 2009 at 11:16 am

    Actually my experience is quite different from that of some posters here. Having traveled to a few places in South America and the Caribbean, I have to say I am unimpressed. Latinas (those I saw on the streets in several capitals) tend to have big butts (some quite young, and most after a certain age), unimpressive chests, and their lineages (African, native American, European) don’t always yield the best mix. I’ve also seen significantly more overweight girls than anywhere in Asia, with overhanging bellies that don’t improve their looks in any way. In all my travels I’ve seen perhaps 3 or 4 girls that really caught my attention.
    Also, it may be just my impression but it seems much more difficult to pick up a non P4P girl (or one who isn’t down on her luck looking for a foreigner as a way out – and there are many of those): you have to be a charmer, look really good (most Latin American men do look good, are good dancers, and so on – you do have very tough competition and your gringo image has as dubious value).
    That being said, there are some gorgeous places to visit, nice beaches, amazing mountains, etc. I remember one afternoon in Mexico thinking how beautiful the place was but how much better it would be if it had a TG ‘reservation’ nearby!

    View all comments by Julian

  10. Moonman says:
    June 2, 2009 at 11:33 am

    Those first few weeks back from LOS is known as PPD. Also known as…Post Pattaya Depression!

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  11. THE MAN says:
    June 2, 2009 at 12:33 pm

    MSB, life in America isn’t bad, it’s just sterile, most of the things that you want to do are illegal, fattening, immoral and costly. Sort of walking into a Baskins Robbins and the only ice cream they ever have is vanilla.

    View all comments by THE MAN

  12. jack dawson says:
    June 2, 2009 at 1:37 pm

    that’s cool but when do u talk about the taquitos ?

    View all comments by jack dawson

  13. Jeezo says:
    June 2, 2009 at 5:38 pm

    San Jose is filled with bail bond shops and tons of Asians, lots of Mexican and Asian food, and crime.

    Of course I’m talking about San Jose, CA… not CR!

    Interesting post.

    May I recommend Cuba instead? From the US you have to go to Canada then fly into Havana. No US passports get stamped.

    The Cuban women know how to party, are appreciative when you give them money & gifts (though you don’t have to) and the GFE is part of the culture there. A really great place where it’s not strictly P4P but easy to pick up women. And a good number of Americans there, surprisingly.

    -Jeezo

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  14. Scampering Jack Wilshere says:
    June 2, 2009 at 9:41 pm

    @ Julian – As I said, I dig the big booty latina thing to start with, so we might not agree no matter what, but I genuinely enjoy the latin culture more than Thai. Not to run down Thailand, where I have lots of fun and have met some great people, but S. America doesn’t seem QUITE so effed up over class (I’ve had more or less hi-so Thais get annoyed at me because I talk to someone lower class at a club while I’m near them, which does not sit well with my peasant blood). The music is incredible, the ‘we’ll deal with it tomorrow’ attitude is perfect for a vacation and, well, I think tan lines are sexy ;-)

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  15. Julian says:
    June 2, 2009 at 10:36 pm

    @SJW Not sure about the class thing. You may have hung out with middle class Latin Americans, who are relatively amorphous as a mass, but try to meet some ‘Indios’ and see how things are for some folk.

    Regarding Latin culture, we can definitely debate its relative merits. I don’t want to knock Latin America, as I had some great times there, and I miss it sometimes (especially since it’s impossible to find a ceviche here, and local ‘Mexican’ food simply sucks, I had it tonight, not sure why I keep trying), but I do find Asian culture much more ‘together’. Latin American culture seems permanently torn between its native, African, and European roots, which are impossible to reconcile. And as far as choosing where to live, the process of deciding between Asia and Latin America took about 30 seconds.

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  16. GoodLife says:
    June 3, 2009 at 12:38 am

    There are a great many great destinations south of the LAND OF UNFREE.

    You can go to the scummiest like La Zona Roja in TJ to fun places places like Rio. The thing about Latin America is its vastness and ease of going from country to country with the right passport.

    My favorite country hands down was Colombia, where the shades are so vast from Mulatas to Rubias… they have every shape and size there not just big asses you can find the little spinners and asian looking ladies… for some reason there is such a mix in this country. As far as playing though you need to know a little spanish and play the game, most of the better places are not just straight out.. its more of a cat and mouse game which can be fun at time but frustrating at other.

    CR or San Jose is a shitty town, dirty and the inner city kinda wears on you. If you go i think 3-4 days max is all i can tolerate and usually run down to the beach cities, the only problem is that action in the beach cities is somewhat limited and dominated by tourist couples. San Jose IMHO is a step up from a border run to TJ, its a stop before you head off to Peru, Brazil, Colombia or Argentina.

    Do i enjoy SJ … well yea because of what fender stated its close to the west coast and you can make a quick weekend getaway vs the 17+ hour flight to SEA.

    As far as the Class Clashes yes there is a big difference between the affluent families in Latin America and the “common middle class” and even worst in their eyes the “Mestizos” so in that respect Julian is correct, but most if not all the people you will interact with will be the middle class.

    Face/Body… is in the eye of the beholder but miss universe has been won by more latin american women than anyone else (EX US). So that says something about those MIXES….

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  17. Scampering Jack Wilshere says:
    June 3, 2009 at 5:52 am

    @ Julian – I’ve spent more time in Thailand than in any one country in S. America. I’m not saying anywhere is devoid of class bias, I spent a year in Hungary/Czech/Austria and there are some incredibly well educated, worldly racist bastards there. But something about the Thai think does really bother me when I’m there, maybe because it’s so shameless and I am truly from peasant stock. And also maybe what I LIKE is that there is such a confusing bunch of native/african/european influences that make up the culture.

    Anyway, I’m not really qualified to discuss too much about either, so I’ll just agree to disagree.

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  18. Dickens Cider says:
    June 6, 2009 at 5:18 am

    Maz requested some info on Mexico. I’m here more or less permanently so I will do what I can to help him out and provide a little insight into the Mexican and Cuban P4P scenes.

    I’m in Tehuacan, Puebla and can tell you professional girls are pretty easy to find. Just buy a local newspaper and on page two there will be the ads. Here prices are about $300 – $400 MXN for one hour. The current exchange rate is about 13:1. That is for GFE, straight sex, and oral. Most will do anal but expect to pay another $100 – $200. That’s still under $50 U.S. It is generally understood that girls in clubs are available but they range the gamut from being stretchmarked pot bellied beasts to stunning. Getting in and getting served in the cantinas can be problematic if you’re a white dude who stands out in a crowd like me. We aren’t uncommon here in town, just uncommon in cantinas and markets. Expect stares and if you stay long those stares can become hostile. They will automatically assume you are a higher social class. They will also charge you 10% – 15% more than the locals if you don’t have any with you and things can get nasty quick if bitch about it.

    You can also try http://www.mundoanuncio.com.mx. It’s kind of the Mexican Craigslist. However expect to pay much, much more. It will be close to $100 an hour for straight sex, more for anal. The advantaage is that most girls will put in there up front condom required or no anal so you know to move on if the girl doesn’t fit your needs. The downside is that rarely will they post faces. Personally, the body has to be amazing for me to ring her up without seeing the face. Some refuse service for English speakers, most will just charge extra.

    Overall I love Latinas. I have never been to Asia but plan to go when money and time allow. I’m not a fan of big asses and a lot of the ladies here do tend to get beefy as the gety older but the young ones can be stunning.

    Here is the current situation in Cuba. In January the police seemed to have started a crackdown. This happens from time to time and when it lasts it can be a bitch. While not impossible to pull the girls are nervous and don’t want to be seen in public. I would recomend getting a taxi ($2-$3 U.S.) and tell the driver what you are looking for. The old m.o. was to rent a car, cruse around the roads outside Havana and pick up “hitchikers” so there was a cover for la policia. Also approaching girls in cafes to see if they would be interested in offering assistance back at your room with your Spanish worked really well. It gives them good cover so they don’t look like “jinateras.” Rates were $15 – $20. Dinner, underwear, and perfume were appreciated as tips. I’m plannin on going back in October and hopefully things will have lightened up by then.

    View all comments by Dickens Cider

  19. OldFatBastard says:
    June 10, 2009 at 2:42 pm

    “Those first few weeks back from LOS is known as PPD. Also known as…Post Pattaya Depression!”

    Yes, I am suffering…..

    View all comments by OldFatBastard

  20. Combover says:
    March 16, 2010 at 3:32 pm

    Dominican Republic would also be an option, no?

    View all comments by Combover

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