Sniping in Bangkok part 1 by Canadian Boy
Posted by Canadianboy | Blog, Reader Submissions | Posted on May 9th, 2009
When people ask what i do for a living i try to avoid the topic. Since I can remain anonymous here, i’ll give it up. I’m a highly trained, marksman. A sniper.
There is no better way of describing what its like to have a mark resting in your crosshairs. Being concealed at a long range and with a slight adjustment of the scope the mark becomes more romantic. I remember my first ‘mark’ like it was yesterday. I was hunkered down for 3 days in a shelled out apartment complex in a crappy little ghetto city in the northern Russia. The marks name was, Jeremiah.
I was given the mission to send him into oblivion. At first it was an exciting thought to digest. But its true. Killing someone is hard, at first. When the trigger is pulled and the body drops… thoughts race through your head. You begin to ask God for clemency and pray that your unresponsive argument with the almighty will be considered. Its a job. I’m good at it. I’m serving my country. This is the world we live in. I begin to get anxious. that there’s not even a sign he’s listening to me. Days and weeks go by, knowing there is going to be a warm spot in hell for my ass. Little did i know he was listening.
A week after my 1st kill. I came across the bible where it states… ‒God forgives and forgets.” Jeremiah, chapter 31. How fucking holy-shit ironic is that? If that’s the case… Hitler must be enjoying a nice piece of fluffy real estate in Heaven.
The second kill is all about topping your 1st. You question the abyss one last time. There’s no response. You know your good at what you do… God put you here for a reason and for now… the next asshole half a mile away is that ‘reason’. God forgives and forgets… I aim an’ shoot.
My teammates/ squad depends on guys like us. They are the front line taking all the bullets. Snipers are usually brought in behind enemy lines a week, or month before led starts flying. We recon an area for an enemy presence by camping out and eating rations. For most of my time, my eye is buried down my scope scanning the terrain. Even during a fire fight we sit back at a safe distance to ‘pick off pricks’ that pop into the open or are hidden away like us. The hardest part is watching through your scope as teammates die from enemy fire. I could be a mile away, or a few hundred yards but the scope brings everything up close. I’ve had friends pinned down and wounded as an enemy sniper lets him bleed and scream for help in an effort to bait another solider into the open.
The crackling of swearing directed towards the enemy over the airwaves deafens your attempt to inform them where it came from. Its utterly, useless. Not all that useless, because the re-spawning ensures they get another chance at the game.
You guy’s ever play Play Station 3’s Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2? The online, multiplayer action is fucking awesome. I play it in 1080i on a 52’ Sony LCD. Its so realistic you feel like your actually there. Amazing graphics. I got surround sound speakers that provide great war-like quality from all angles. The zip of bullets and explosions rocks everything. Let me know if you play, ill add you to my friend list.
What you actually thought i was a sniper?
Like the game of sniping on Sony’s PS3 i’ve learned to apply it to my social skills in meeting girls or marks.
My method to for a night in Bangkok consists of doing reconnaissance/intel from reading blogs, websites with photos and trip reports. Do these places grab my interest? Does it sound or appear to be an establishment that I would enjoy? Can I picture my self making the perfect kill? What’s the potential talent of targets like? Is there anyone I want to rest my crosshairs on?
I prefer sitting at a table for thirty minutes or so without being bothered. Get a feel of things, share some small talk that will hopefully lead to some cynical observations and good laughs. I hate jumping the gun. Some guys like shooting rabbits with a bazooka — at close range. Not my style. I prefer the art of sniping.
‒A sniper is usually a highly trained marksman that shoots targets from concealed positions or distances exceeding the capabilities of regular personnel. Snipers typically have specialized training and distinct high-precision rifles. In addition to marksmanship, military snipers are also trained in camouflage, field craft, infiltration, reconnaissance and observation techniques.[1]”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sniper
Social Sniping, I think is something you have to have in your blood. You’ve come to a point in your thinking where you understand and appreciate it. Its always on, working in the background not needing to call on it, simply turn it up. Sniper’s are envied because were loners at our own choice. We don’t need the help of a regiment or battalion. Only observation and patience… well, a ‘spotter’ is always good. For you Top Gun guy’s ‘spotter’ is another word for ‘wingman’. Except we don’t go by cool names like Iceman or Marvrick. To me, Top Gun ruined the term ‘wingman’.
Sunday night we decided to hit Soi Cowboy (yes again). Walking through the curtains of our favorite bar we’re instantly hit with a cacophony of unrelenting noise. The myriad of mirrors provide a kaleidoscope
effect of girls in skirts dawning smiles. Everyone and everything is illuminated in a soothing ambiance of warm, blue neon. From what I gather the crowd is pretty simple… they know what they want — blood.
Filtering out the desperadoes from the vultures an’ keeping a safe distance from the obvious drunk fools my brother/spotter, zero’s in on an open table to the left of the stage against the wall. There’s just enough room for us to wedge our asses comfortably in. Some Asian dudes next to us is just having the time of his life with a stunner riding his crotch and another whispering in his ear. His over weight buddy is simply starring on in fascination. I can’t get over how much money these guy’s are dropping without hesitation. The table is littered with glasses creating a miniature city skyline and the brown Kings are being fanned in the open. The girls are drawn to it like moth to fire. Amazing to see how corrupting money really is.
I decide to do some reconnaissance by taking a stroll to through the bathroom. Yup some pretty hot ones are stranded at the back couches near the bathroom. I avoid making desperate eye contact that says, I got a chubby. Instead play it down. No pun intended. Besides, I just want to get a feel of the place. Before I head up the steps to the washroom a tubby thai hostess who reminds me of Ugly Betty steps in front of me trying to flirt. Sweet thing, not tonight; clearly, can’t you tell your not my choosing. Find some one else to drool over. I gotta take a squirt so badly my back teeth are floating.
I try to step around her, but i’d need a Taxi cab for that. Instead she blocks my path. ‒What you name?” OMG, she can’t be serious. MOVE IT!! I play nice, smile and go to move but what she does next is an utter sin… she plants her foot on my brand new, white puma kicks. ‒What you name?” There’s a spike in my heart rate and my palms get sweaty. I clench my jaw, give her a stern look and she gets the hint. She apologizes and removes her foot, stepping aside.
The view of the club, from the window as you relieve yourself at the urinal is quiet entertaining. Its a bit awkward knowing people can see me. After a few seconds I think I am not the only one who’s thought this and give it a good shake. Note: I’ve never before seen sanitary bathrooms like i have here. The Queen of England would be proud of being baptized in one of these toilets.
Heading back to my table i do recon making my way around the other side of the bar. Yes, there are more beauties at hand. I notice my brother is chatting with a girl dressed in civilian clothing. She’s extremely cute and bubbly and has great cleavage. To let him get his game on and make some moves, I tell him ill be sitting outside having a smoke.
Outside the walking street freak show is in full effect. An albino skin dude, wearing white jeans, white t-shirt and white shoes with only back sunglasses walks past at a slow pace. No lie. Then swarms of girl’s. One thing i notice is about girl’s traveling in pairs is that there’s always one that got hit with the ugly stick too many times.
As I bring my attention from the street to the tv, there are about 4 hostesses and 3 BG’s sitting in a group at the bar all starring at me. wtf? Is there something wrong? One girl with the Cornels chicken grease, smeared lips and chin, giggles, leans forward… you boring. I felt like replying, ‒And you ugly, Kentucky Fried Tubby. Tuck in that barrel.” Instead I ask, why you think that? As she picks chicken chunks from her barracuda like teeth, ‒You no talk.” Well, for starters, i really don’t like to show my initial reaction to anything. Trying to explain that to her would be a nightmare so i opt with the excuse i just got off a 17 hour flight.
She understands but relents, ‒why you not act happy to see girl? You like lady boy?” Yeah, uh huh. Just cause I’m not drooling at the site of girls in skirts who are only paying you attention cause of the size of your wallet I’m a fag. She’s great at human profiling.
Everyone has been burned by their own emotions in Bangkok. I think its needed as a right of passage. You all know what I’m talking about. You meet that one girl in the beginning who’s charm and innocence corrupted you with all the right words. Then as you start negotiating all goes well and you make a deal. A price is agreed and both party’s are happy. When you head off to the bathroom and come back she’s sitting with something that is impossible to be even considered remotely human. Your stunned. Your heart ripped out. The guy’s whose fingers resemble the little, fat, sausages sold at the street carts has your date. Its all business baby…. like Gordon Gekko said, ‒Greed, for a lack of a better word is good.”
After an experience like that you just look at these girls as ‘greedy’ as western girls… its all about the money. Its true… the Thai girls are loyal to the brown sheets. Until you get your face on a bill you ain’t shit. Then again, i could be a little bitter.
to be continued…
60 Responses to “Sniping in Bangkok part 1 by Canadian Boy”
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Mango Fortnightly - 16th May
That 'free blowjob with first drink'....mmmm wheres that? Just curious.
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Mango Fortnightly - 16th May
Did a couple of all nighters this week. As after hours is concerned, Insomnia Bangkok is king in my book. There were plenty of freelancer...
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Mango Fortnightly - 16th May
Good theme for the party DW, never tried a 'Four-Some', bucket list #38.
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Mango Fortnightly - 16th May
Good read. Appreciate the effort. Thanks
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Mango Fortnightly - 16th May
"A group of guys from the US Military descended upon us" - did everything suddenly become 'awesome' ?
:)
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Mango Fortnightly - 16th May
I hope you keep the fortnightly updates going. It's a good read and something most (any?) other bars don't do. I used to frequent the 'Ol...
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Mango Fortnightly - 16th May
CTG - June 9th is the party. There will be a separate post about it soon - I am just waiting on some final details.
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Mango Fortnightly - 16th May
Daywalker, have you confirmed the date for the anniversary party? Last I read was some time around June 8th or 9th.
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Isan women drinking too much? Really?
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A November to Remember Part Two - By Deptstar
200lb... na, not even in a bad dream.
Recent Comments
Translator
great stuff! keep them coming!
View all comments by RG
Just goes to show that you can never run out of new ways to describe the same topic.
View all comments by Billy Bangkok
I like the writing style. Nice work.
View all comments by bkk22
The girl who said to you “you boring” actually meant “bored”. A typical Thai mistake as Thai language has only one word for “bored” and “boring”.
View all comments by mart
war is hell
View all comments by khlongwater
Well written.
We’ve all felt that ennui.
View all comments by ziggy pop
Great read CB.
To mention a point about the BG’s who ask why you dont look happy;
A couple of times i have had a BG say to me, “you not look happy”! but, im not fucking Coco the clown luv, i wear a straight face like most normal people unless some cracks a joke or smiles at me!
CB said he was outside engaging in further Recon taking in the sights sounds and getting a good feel for the whole scene, not standing there grinning or laughing like some odd ball.
Is that what these BG’s expect to see – all farangs walking around constantly laughing like a simpleton for no reason?
Maybe it’s a cultural misunderstanding – Farang straight face = Unhappy!?
They don’t realise that some of us with P4P experience and a little maturity tend to show a little more decorum in the way we are, a type of coolness (without trying), no longer are we Greenhorns/ Newbies acting like a kid in a candy store.
No longer bowl into a bar in packs with eyes on stalks, drooling with tongues hanging out, “tenting” at every cute scantily clad gyrating BG we see.
We know the game and play it better now.
Are we unhappy ? No, we are simply looking for the next ‘mark’ with better precision.
View all comments by Eddie T
Funny thing is… “I state im a highly trained marksman… can’t shoot shit in this city. LOL
C’mon… didn’t someone pick up on that.
@RG
Gracis
@Billy Bangkok
LOL… true isn’t it. I hope it was somewhat at least entertaining. Thanks.
@bkk22
I appreciate it.
@mart
Do they throw the same comment towards you too?
@khlongwater
I feel like trying to get laid at the moment is like going up the Nung river to find CL. Kurtz.
@ziggy pop
Its a heart break i know.
@Eddie T
I totally agree with what you say…. “Maybe it’s a cultural misunderstanding – Farang straight face = Unhappy!?They don’t realise that some of us with P4P experience and a little maturity tend to show a little more decorum in the way we are, a type of coolness (without trying), no longer are we Greenhorns/ Newbies acting like a kid in a candy store. No longer bowl into a bar in packs with eyes on stalks, drooling with tongues hanging out, “tenting” at every cute scantily clad gyrating BG we see. We know the game and play it better now.
Are we unhappy ? No, we are simply looking for the next ‘mark’ with better precision.”
All the crap i just put down… you had to come along an’ sum it up with this!! THANKS!!!
View all comments by Canadianboy
Cboy – yes and no but that was not my point. Was just trying to show you one of the usual mistakes Thais do when speaking English. I’ve often seen the status of Thais on instant messengers being set on “i’m boring” or Thais telling me that they’re boring, just a typical mistake they do.
View all comments by mart
Cboy – and it was not really a comment she threw at you. Was much more an attempt to engage in small talk with you. Like when they ask you “where you go?”, did you think they were genuinely interested in knowing where you are going?
View all comments by mart
@mart – this mistake always gets me too. I don’t know any bargirl that gets it right, however many times you tell them the difference!
But surely there are two words in Thai, aren’t there?
Beua – Bored
Naa beua – Boring
(Sorry, I can’t be arsed to write in Thai script)
Surely it’s easy? I don’t get why the Thais don’t get it.
Rak – to love, I love, etc. “Khun rak” – You love.
Naa Rak – loveable, cute. “Khun naa rak” – You’re cute/loveable.
It’s fucking easy, surely! Dumb broads…
The other one that gets me is the inability to get the present continuous. “I am doing”. Once again, they’ve got an equivalent. “Phom gamlang tham yuu” but can they get it? Fuck, can they…
View all comments by bibblies
@ Bibblies – Lol spot on!!
They can’t seem to understand ‘context’,or – past, present and future tense, it’s virtually beyond them.
Also, who the hell teaches these BG’s/ TG’s English? I’m sure they’re very competant English Teachers in Thailand both Farang and Indigenous? So, why do they all seem to speak broken English in the same way as each other?
Sure i understand the structure of conversation/ sentences is different to western language styles & structure, however, if they are being taught English then why the hell do they forget about simple 2 letter words? And ‘reverse’ words around in a sentence?
My theory is this;
They all get taught English by the same ‘Mamasan’ and therefore all sound the same when speaking English.
Bit like a loaf of bread thats baked in a bread tin with a dent in the side, it means ALL loaves will come out of the tin with a dent in their sides.
Any thoughts anyone?
View all comments by Eddie T
Bibb – still not sure about that, I asked a few friends and they told me that “naa beua” means both boring and bored. I think (but I haven’t asked for confirmation yet) that they never apply the term “boring” to people but only to things which would explain why. Tried many times to explain to Thais “off the Reservation” the difference which sort of confuses them (or they just answer “Ah ok”) and they come a few days later with a nice “I boring today!”…
The thai2english dictionary seems to (partially) confirm my impression but only kind of: thai2english.com/dictionary/13007.html
View all comments by mart
Eddie – your theory is sheer nonsense! Just 2 questions, do you speak any language apart from English? Do you speak Thai or are you learning Thai?
View all comments by mart
Oh Bibblies, on the present continuous, yes they have an equivalent but the structure is very different. In English it’s an inflection of the verb which will inevitably confuse Thais as they do not know any conjugation.
Besides they have 3 possibilities to say “I am eating”:
- phom kamlang kin yoo
- phom kin yoo
- phom yang kin
The first 2 possibilities seem identical to me while the third one would emphasize on the fact that one is STILL eating. Just goes to show how complicated things are when it comes to comparing languages.
Just another example, I am a native French/German speaker and I still feel confused when it comes to the use of present perfect and past simple, although I studied English. English, French and German are grammatically quite similar but there isn’t any similar tense structure in French and German.
View all comments by mart
the way I have heard it is beau can be bored or boring but naa beuua is boring or tedious but not bored
this is the site I look to and one my teacher also liked:
http://www.thai-language.com/id/132330
View all comments by sideshowBOB
ssB – interestingly the 2 websites completely disagree. Hope I’ll get some clarification soon.
View all comments by mart
Look at a dictionary and u will get the same answer
thai2english is a machine doing the translation – jsut like google it uses SMT – statistical machine translation and like google it is off most of the time. For real context, meaning and grammar the link I used is much more reliable and the word is explained how I remember my teaching instructing the use of na – which is like a stating of being. so in my mind na beua cannot mean bored.
View all comments by sideshowBOB
thai2english is not an automatic translator, it is a dictionary… Put a sentence in the search field and it will not translate it but give a definition of each word separately. It is not comparable at all with Google Translation!
View all comments by mart
Canadain boy are you sure your not American?
View all comments by Mr Right
Nice write up accurately describing your situation which many of us have experienced similar versions of.
Sometimes the girl has to break the ice with the farang as thats her meal ticket. Some guys dont dance around with their tongue hanging out and some of the newer visitors are out of place and looking around thinking what to do, the thais can be confused by someone with a stone face thinking “why he no smile he not like lady?”
Also sometimes its hard to say go away to someone being so nice to you to some of the girls you dont fancy and the way you do it affects how you are perceived by the one you do fancy as it involves that great asian thing………..face.
Remember the 100 percent hotty might be a real attitude queen when you get her back to your room after years of being spoilt by byippun and high rollers whereas the slightly plumper and poorer version will have real tits and give you a far better run for your money and actually earn it.
View all comments by ao nang
@ ao nang you said something that i can’t relate to on a few occassions!
I’m not just saying this for sake but it is true that some Hot looking BG’s/ FL’s are a bit of a let down when you get ‘em back to your room.
Everything was going well, i mean we agreed price, she agreed to my requests for the said price, all smiles and ka ka etc.
Back up to the room she changes her mind on something, WTF?
On another occassion similar thing happened whereby price and requests were agreed, all going well back in the room, and turns out she’s short changing me and now it’s only ST because she has to get back to her daughter!?
Oh and last one – a typical FL trick just as they are leaving your room – in the morning they ask for more money over and above the agreed price!?
This FL had the fucking audacity to request more money for her daughter because she needed to buy her something blah blah blah! WTF – again!
I said, “err no, we agreed xxxx amount right? i only wanted a fuck, not to adopt your daughter”!!
Then she leaves with a moody on her face like i’ve just called her her mother an ugly two headed buffalo or something as offensive.
Mostly my encounters have been ok glad to say.
View all comments by Eddie T
@ oa nang – i just re-read my post and i meant to say i CAN* relate to etc etc etc…..
View all comments by Eddie T
your writing is good. keep it ip. el turdo
View all comments by el turdo
@Mr. Right
Why you ask?
I love how this is has now turned to a thai/ english class…. lol
View all comments by Canadianboy
The thai grammar for adjectives like bored/boring, interested in/interesting is the same as English.
beaua = bored
naa beaua = boring
sonjai = interested in
naa sonjai = interesting
and so on
View all comments by Werewolf
Eddie – much of the BG language is perpetuated by twats speaking to them that way. I am sure thais also think english grammar is back-to-front
View all comments by Mr Carpet
mr c – dont really buy that one. the reality is most BG have not been to high school so their command of their own language is pretty weak.
View all comments by sideshowBOB
You can also draw out the word for emphasis. Try this with your TG next time something annoys you (hopefully not her but a situation that she also observes). Say this:
Naaaaaa buuuueeehh – aaaa (the bueeeehh sound is made about halfway down your throat and if you angle the corners of your mouth downward you can hit the sound better).
Guaranteed your TG will be quite surprised that you find it so boring! It adds a lot more emphasis to the word.
-Jeezo
View all comments by Jeezo
ssB – fair comment, but I’m sure it doesn’t help things. I personally try to speak the same, just slower. Problem is if they don’t understand something and repeat it back to me, I think CRAP, is my aussie accent really that bad?
Just polished off a MUFFin at Mango. I will try to get off my butt and post a review sometime.
View all comments by Mr Carpet
Girls who’ve learnt the basics of English from mamasans and bargirls will have picked up bad habits, for sure.
But when native-speaking farang customers throw them sentences like “me like you, me want pay bar you, we go room, make boom-boom ok?”, it hardly helps them along the path of cohesive communication.
If customers spoke to girls in simple but correct English, I think it would really help. No need to get into the intricities of the present past participle, but at least use “me” and “I” correctly…
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
you guys are so mesmerized with the freaking process pull the trigger
View all comments by sharkman
waiting for a half decent response
View all comments by sharkman
christ I got more action in bangkok in half a freaking night before my my flight departed than this guy
View all comments by sharkman
its not that difficult
View all comments by sharkman
sharkman – I get it. u r cboy trying to inflate your
View all comments by sideshowBOB
comment count by writing your comments one line at a time
View all comments by sideshowBOB
very slick technique
View all comments by sideshowBOB
Anyone caught speaking pidgeon English should have their fucking lazy tongue ripped out of their head and jammed up their arsehole.
Had a perfectly good meal ruined by some pidgeon english speaking fuckface on SUkhumvit11 a few weeks back. I was in earshot of this painfully dull twat, who was using all the dumbest phrases in the book.
“Now back England, we have snow…. When NAM KENG, come from sky”
“My skin color, not same same you”
and my personal favourite……
“At home, I have computer, I type in English word, and like magic happen, and it tell me thai word. Its clever right”
Even the ladyboy I went with was rolling her eyes at his dismal and cringeworthy language skills. Uber tossbag!
View all comments by Young Penfold
Not so long ago.. I over heard a conversation in ‘pigeon’ English. It was hard to identify many of the words, but both parties seemed to understand each other.
I can’t say I get too upset by it. After all, it was my choice to visit Liverpool.
View all comments by Daywalker
There are times when it’s necessary to “dumb down” your speech to bargirls. For example, they may know the word “buy” but not understand the past form “bought”. To be understood you have to say something along the lines of “I buy this shirt yesterday”
But I agree that we certainly can use the correct form of I/me, he/him and so on. Also, using correct phrases such as “the same as” will work with your bar girl most of the time. It’s not necessary to resort to “same same”.
The fact is, these girls rarely study English in any formal environment. They learn it on the job, and between the horrendous habits of their co-workers and the sloppy speech of most customers, they simply develop a pidgin English that gets the job done.
I tend to admire the fact that the girls develop some second language skills, as weak as they are. My Thai language skills are very modest (read “poor”) but the Thai I hear spoken by most foreigners is atrocious… There are very few of us whose Thai language skills are much better than the girls’ English, so I tend to avoid throwing stones around my glass house.
By the way, on something that is actually related to the post…
I feel like a complete idiot, but I bought the sniper thing hook line and sinker. I’ve met a lot of guys in Bangkok with a wide variety of unlikely jobs, so it seemed reasonable that a military sniper could be stationed here and reading the blog.
Ah well. It’s not the first time I’ve been a public idiot and I’m sure it won’t be the last.
View all comments by Werewolf
mart: Yea, pom or de-chan is how all Thai’s “should” start a sentence when speaking of themselves in the singular form. But how often do you hear it done? My guess is that 95% of the time they don’t say it. There are quite a few well educated Thais who I’ve known for years and I’ve never heard them say Pom or De-chan; not even once. Several years ago a Thai friend of mine said if you want to hear proper Thai linguistic style, listen to the legislative sessions which are aired on the radio. Zzzzzzzzzz.
YP: It’s like fingernails on a blackboard when I hear that. You think with the abundance of unwritten laws here the boys in brown would have figured a way to fine people for speaking that gibberish. But that would mean the boys in brown would need to understand English. Maybe a prominent sign at the front door: “Customers Speaking Pigeon English Will Be Asked To Leave.”
WW: You got it right. Most lack the formal teaching and that’s the killer.
The difference between Thai language past-current-future tense is as different from the English version as the Thai alphabet is from the Roman alphabet. Thais will tell you it’s one of the most, if not the most, difficult aspect of the English language to master. Thais use the context of the conversation to determine tense in most instances. Gin kow or gin kow mai is an example. Someone told me that Thai’s usually use laow at the end of the sentence to note past tense.
As for English pronunciation: Hell, many Thais can’t get their own language straight, and then we expect them to get English? Noticed how inconsistent the pronunciations are between Thais? Simple example: sloppily exchanging “r” sound for an “l”; how many have heard arai (correct) pronounced alai (incorrect)? Thai’s know the difference between raw-rua and law-ling, but it doesn’t stop them from butchering their own language. (Really? Yes, Leally!)
My Thai language instructor summarized it this way. While in class one day she was asked why spoken Thai varies so much when it is taught the same in all the schools:
“Thai’s are lazy and like to take shortcuts.” – classic.
Good stuff CB. Sounds like you’re shooting blanks though. Go for a wild game hunt with DW when he’s in town next time. You’re sure to bag a few. Oh wait…
DW, are you still allowed to go out hunting or do you have a one monkey limit?
View all comments by Bubba
It always has been..always is..and always will be about the $$.
Once you accept that basic premise…the game changes.
View all comments by Indu WangZi
@Werewolf
You bought it. Shit, thanks. Don’t stress the public idiot thing. I think I’ll take the grand prize of for one due to my unfortunate experiences here.
@Bubba
Is DW the Jedi Master of gog-gos??
View all comments by Canadianboy
For Thais, swapping L and L seems to be simply a matter of pronouncing what’s easiest in the word. I would have thought that it’s simply acceptable pronunciation within the context of the language.
I had a Thai girl recently confused several times because I asked her things like “You wanna go eat something?” or “you hungry?”
She would look at me and say, “Sorry, I didn’t hear you say ‘Do’ or ‘Are’ at the beginning” She wasn’t busting my chops; she was confused because I wasn’t using the grammar that she’d learned in school. If I can drop an auxiliary verb without thinking I’m stupid, I guess Thais can drop a pronoun if they want.
When I stop saying “gonna” “wanna” “shoulda” “woulda” “coulda” and the like then I’ll start saying that Thais are linguistically lazy.
Till then I guess I’ll figure that the spoken language differs from the written one, much like my own.
View all comments by Werewolf
You end up talking in pidgeon living in Bangkok just like you end up talking with a London accent living in London. You think you sound like a twat talking like that to bargirls? Its even worse when you catch yourself doing it to your mum.
Regular Girl insists I speak correct English with her… until she gets tired and then it has to be pidgeon… and when tired and drunk I have to speak Thai. And she is in a University course with a heavy focus on spoken English, and certainly the best of her friends when it comes to spoken English. You do it because you want to be understood and you have more luck than with correct English or your crap Thai. Even if you do end up sounding like a knob.
View all comments by Cabby
Bubba….
Well… my monkey laid out a few rules of her own. She said she doesn’t want me to get ‘boring her’, so if I want to go and have a massage or one off the wrist, then that is fine. As that’s what blokes do. She did ask me not to collect phone numbers and bring them home to the bed we share. Fair enough.
I am not a total arse, so I wouldn’t do it in her face anyway.
The relationship is still going strong.
Back in the Mango in a few weeks time to answer questions
View all comments by Daywalker
CB: If DW goes on one of his partying binges and you’re in tow you’ll understand my comment.
WW: The Thai language teacher is Thai. Those are strong words of disapproval coming from a Thai. I don’t see your correlation. Rather signification difference between making a slang contraction such as gonna or wanna vs. spelling “really” as “leally” and pronouncing it the same (which is what Thais effectively do with arai, among other words).
DW: I can relate. Keeps the grief level low.
View all comments by Bubba
Bubba: I don’t care enough to argue about it, but I’ll agree to disagree on this minor language point. I’ll stand on my previous comment and grant that your ideas are well stated.
How ’bout them… uh what sports season is it in farangland now?…
Anyway. Anyone banged any hot bar girls lately?
View all comments by Werewolf
@ DW ‘The relationship is still going strong’
ermmm… because you are out of the country?
View all comments by doctorbond
@Werewolf
I think God must be looking down on me… except she wasn’t a bar girl.
I’ll submit my next story in a day…
View all comments by Canadianboy
DB… Doesn’t matter where in the world I am…. trust me.. I see everything.
I see you also.
View all comments by Daywalker
DB… (double-dip)…. Skype
View all comments by Daywalker
Cripes – Wheres the video feed? Hope I had my best shirt on.
View all comments by doctorbond
- I hope that wasn’t your best shirt. And please, less chest.. the buttons are there for a reason.
You’ll find the video feed in the toilet. I call it the PanCam.
- Although I got YP to install it, and he put it in the Urinal.
Nice laptop also.. although you should have gone for the Apple
Ahhh…. Apple……
View all comments by Daywalker
“Well… my monkey laid out a few rules of her own. She said she doesn’t want me to get ‘boring her’, so if I want to go and have a massage or one off the wrist, then that is fine. As that’s what blokes do. She did ask me not to collect phone numbers and bring them home to the bed we share. Fair enough.”
Another interpretation: She is simply lazy and wants to share the workload. Rather like a girl who suggests you take another girl as well as her – the usual reason is so she doesn’t have to do as much work.
“I am not a total arse, so I wouldn’t do it in her face anyway.”
Do it in her face. Mmmmm…..
View all comments by bibblies
Bibbles… not at all…
Before I go out, the little hairy one does make a point of emptying all my fluids to the point where sex is not thought about for at least 15 mins.
If anything, I am the lazy one. I often just go to sleep wearing a condom with a lolly-stick shoved in it and tell her to carry on without me.
View all comments by Daywalker
@ Eddie T
I do know what you mean, and I do not want to offend, but I find it highly amusing when you criticize the bargirls’ English, while at the same time managing to make several mistakes in one sentence, in your mother tongue (I presume): “I’m sure they’re very competant English Teachers in Thailand both Farang and Indigenous”. (Should read “I’m sure there’re [unless you meant ever single one of them]very competent English teachers in Thailand, both farang and indigenous.”, me thinks. (No, I am not a native English speaker.)
I’m with Werewolf on this.
Wish my knowledge of spoken Thai was on a par with your average bargirl’s grasp of the English language.
View all comments by rick
“If anything, I am the lazy one. I often just go to sleep wearing a condom with a lolly-stick shoved in it and tell her to carry on without me.”
Haha… I’ll have to remember that one. There are good girls out there and they are fucking exhausting! I wish my regular would go and exhaust someone else sometimes – I need a holiday.
View all comments by Cabby
The girl i had last night put the condom on for me using her mouth.
Now that’s being lazy on my part – and talented on her end.
View all comments by Canadianboy