Tagged your it – Part 1 by Young Penfold
Posted by Young Penfold | Blog, Reader Submissions | Posted on July 21st, 2008
Lot of talk about g-clubs lately is the place to get some good ass for a change of scene. Wrong. I been a few times and was thoroughly under whelmed. Smitty did say though that when I got Im usually pissed as a Bangkok motocy driver which doesnt help.
www.tagged.com is where its at. I’ve been on there for a few weeks and had some quality pulls from there. Granted Im a seriously cool customer and can snap knicker elastic with a raise of the peoples eyebrow, but you mere mortals may also witness success too.
2 weeks ago since Ive signed up a hell of a lot has gone on, and this submission (and subsequent next posts) are in a lowsy non-chronological (I think thats the expression I wanted) order, but I shit you not, its all TRUE
GETTING STARTED. The chicks (and ladyboys) need to know they are dealing with a stud-muffin here, so need to get some good photos on there. 2 of me playing with a toy elephant water gun in my bathroom, wai-ing a katoey at the BKK Motorshow, chilling with the simians at monkey farm in Cha-Uat, my famous underpants and santa mask picture and me strangling a shit-zsu puppy with my ex GF should do the trick. Here I come girls.
As of now I have zero friends. Time to change that. Click on ‘browse’ and you can set criteria for finding people. 18-22. Female. Thailand. Sadly theres no free-text box for ‘bi-sexual cumslut’ ‘ sodomy fiend’ or ‘millionaire widow’ which is a bummer.
Here are some of the results it has spat out and some observations….
‘Bia’ Tattoos on her left tit spell NIGEL. Whore. Add
‘Poo’ Appropriate. Shes was shit looking. Next
One smoking hot girl with dimples and braces had the tagline “Sick of lying asshole guys” Busted. Wont waste my time
Lot of girls super-imposing whiskers and rabbit ears on there face. Why do that? They some have kind of feline fetish? Kind of disturbing if you ask me
Pic of 1 girl (whos name I forget) was her in her bar hugging some German tattooed cretin with a lazy eye wearing an amazing Thailand vest. Obvious whore. Im thinner and far more handsome then this guy. Easily get a freebie from her. Add
‘Silly P’ added me. Shit name. Great face. Face wins over name every time (unless her name is Hitler or something French sounding)
Chonly – sounds like Chun-Li from Streetfighter2 for the SNES. Thats was a quality game. Cute too. The girl from the game I mean. And the girl on tagged too. Add
Opened a profile which was a cracking set of tits bustling out of a tank-top. Tits are good. Could be onto a winner. No face. Faces are good. Some might say essential. Checked the face and kinda wish I had’nt. Jaw like a hammerhead shark. To the bin with you
‘Pump’. I wish I could. Maybe I will. Classic. Short funky hair too. Cute as you like. Added
‘Brown’ Is she trying to advertise something here? Brown love on the menu perhaps? Gotta be worth a look hasnt it? Dont buy a ticket, you dont win the lottery my mom always said
Added 1 chick who was super cute. She initiated the first message saying I was cute. Correct! Gold star for you. After 5-6 flirty messages she told me she lived in Chiang Mai and wont be in Bangkok until next year. Time is money bitch. Next
‘Ping Pong’ – For comedy value. Dull profile. So-so face. Not a hooker as the name suggested. Has a husband and kid. Shame.
Horrified when a girl added me and on her status it said ‘I am Mongolia’ I thought she was a handicapped. You know the type. We call them window lickers. Apparently it’s another country. Overseas doesn’t do it for me. Keep it moving sister
Alarming amount of 29year olds in student outfits here. No time for liars. They should take a photo with todays copy of the BKK post to verify there age.
I really get bored of the generic 2 finger peace salute. Very cuntish. But if they are hot, I can overlook that, because Im nice like that.
Stumbled across a really rough ladyboy. No dramas there. Her Tagline was ‘Im girl’ No your not. Please dont insult my intelligence. Could be up for giving regular blowies though. Add
Try and add girls with pictures of them driving. Always helps. Means she has access to wheels. Probably has some cash. Maybe open to getting drilled on the backseat. If shes a female tuk-tuk driver though, steer clear. If she is a female tuk-tuk driver she can always take you to get a suit made though
“Akma” added me. She messaged me “Maybe we can be friends?”. Maybe not love. Many reasons. Your Fat. Ugly. Indonesian. Wearing a headscarf. Bad skin. Deidre Barlow glasses. You want me to continue?
Iv noticed it helps trawling at 2-3am. This is when a lot of whores come out of the woodwork, or the bitches back from clubbing. Easier prey I find
Generic western names = ladyboy. Who nicknames there daughter ‘Janet, Rita or Elizabeth? No-one does. Tread carefully otherwise you could be grabbing your ankles before you know it. If your pmmp you might want to pursue
‘Nana’ – Need I say any more? Great name
If you add a remotely decent looking LB, get in line behind the Italians and Germans. If you happen to be neither of these nationalities, or Young Penfold…your fucked.
Added an ugly girl, purely based on the fact half of her pics were her at a Muay Thai gym padded up and kicking ass. If I got lucky we could have some freaky rough sex. If we went boozing together she could bail me out of fights I get into with guys twice my size. (Her nose wasn’t to clever, so maybe her Muay Thai isn’t that good) Downside is if I pissed her off which Im likely to do, shed kick me to pieces. Rough with the smooth.
Queers: Started to get quite a few guys adding me lately, mostly from Malaysia and the middle east. A lot of them topless in there pics. All of them immaculately groomed. There friends list is also full of topless dudes. Dont quite understand what I have in common with a un-shirted adonis in Dubai in his underpants. My status is ‘straight’ and Im listed as living in Bangkok. The optimistic scamps. They wont be wearing my anus as a bracelet anytime in the foreseeable future.
I’ve saved the best until last……
Found an LB online the other day, and her opening tagline caught my eye….
“Hi guy! I’m passive shemale.. I love dancing with sucking big gangbang cock … we can be friend… or more i want…..
xxxxxxxxxx@hotmail.com”
This is MUCH more like it. More of this please. No fucking around here. No “I want kind man, take care for me good’ or “Be gentle dont break my heart” Oh no none of that shit. Gets straight to the point. This sister is all business. She wants a gullet full of cum, and I wanna give it. ADD ADD ADD
On a sidenote Id love to know the logistics of dancing and sucking a big gangbang cock (gangbang = in the plural sense, cock = singular) She says she LOVES doing it so shes obviously done it before. Talented too. This ones a keeper. I doubt ill be taking her home to mom anytime soon
Still awaiting a reply from my message of “You can suck me anytime sweetheart – where you live?”, Although shes probably too busy sucking big gangbang cock. Fair play to her/him. Why not I say. Get what you can.
I could go on forever with some of the funny stuff Ive come across but I don’t want this turning into a BBK style post. All in good time
Next edition will be the perverted photo comments Ive come across. Fucking gold it is. I will be busy this week with the pulls from a thai-air stewardess, a Pattaya freelancer, hotel receptionist and an insurance broker who wants me to go and play winning 11 at her house followed by a round of slap n tickle.
Stay tuned
72 Responses to “Tagged your it – Part 1 by Young Penfold”
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Recent Comments
Translator
Was this article copy edited?
View all comments by Paul
I joined Tagged and built up a sizable friends list within days. Girls are not shy on here and would initiate contact. For stupid reasons I deleted my profile but will crank it back up again soon.
Most interesting friends request I got was from an Iranian chick. I added here just because she was from Tehran. They proably won’t let me back in the US after that stunt.
Definite possibilites here if you put in some time eg more than 2 weeks and you’re not the creepy guys leaving “U r beautiful” on every Thai girls profile.
View all comments by bkk22
p – it was not. I figured YP was banging this out as he played and it better captured his ridiculous lifestyle. stay tuned for the TV show.
View all comments by smitty
Is Tagged even more of a Bangkok-only thing than TLL or is there fun to be had for us here in Patts (or elsewhere)?
View all comments by The Ghost
There are girls from all over Thailand on it.
View all comments by bkk22
Tagged is a ‘social networking’ site whose gimmick is that you get ‘tags’ (ie someone assigns you some silly caption, so cool). So it’s goal is slightly different than that of TLL or DateInAsia.
But yeah visionaries like this blog’s readers can turn it into a dating site and more. It does take some effort though. I’m beginning to gain some traction with the 28+ crowd (which is ok by me: these ladies seem much less confused about what’s going on, and I have met a few stunners in this category). Having had great results in the past with similar sites (and not just in Thailand), I’m willing to work with Tagged for a while and see what it delivers. Was skeptical at first but now I’m beginning to see potential, although I’m not yet convinced it beats TLL or DIA.
View all comments by Julian
Penfold = funny
View all comments by werewolf
Tagged is a goldmine. I was going to put a ‘how to guide’ but thats no fun. Comes across as precosious. Im no expert. Thats a lie. I am. Just dont wanna share my secrets
Apart from the goldmine of stunners, I found some really weird girls on there, and came across some funny shit.
Using the site for a week Ive had some quality feedback and hooked upa few times already.
You have to weed out the crap as Ive chatted with some 19-20 year old stunners that are as a dull as shit. Cant have it all I guess
View all comments by Young Penfold
You da man. Wish I had these options where I live. I don’t.
Hapy days for you.
View all comments by Scampering Jack Wilshere
Well I got one or two extremely forthright messages there: ‘let meet now na ka’.
And yet, in terms of quality, DIA is above. I still cannot forget the Filipina flight attendant I met there a couple years ago.
View all comments by Julian
Penfold, how the hell do you earn a living in BKK? serious question, i’m dying here, sat at my desk!
View all comments by Chris
I think it’s nice you have a hobby, Penfers, and you’re adding to your computer skills at the same time! It’s so refreshing to read of a young person keen to meet other young people from another country! I do wish you’d kept up your English As A Native Language course, though. I’ve passed your piece on to an Issan tuk-tuk driver to translate into English, so more readers can enjoy and comment on your admirable endeavour!
(PS Your mum says hello – or would do if I took the ball-gag out of her mouth.)
View all comments by Pants Elk
“Penfold, how the hell do you earn a living in BKK? serious question”
- It’s not just Thai hookers that sell their arse in Bangkok.
View all comments by Daywalker
Chris – Im a yabba fuelled rent-boy who flogs his mutton between Suriwong Road and BoyzTown for 5000baht a time. Gotta pay the bills somehow
View all comments by Young Penfold
I actually saw YP’s arse in the window of an Indian tailor’s shop on Sukhumvit. The ticket on it said “much used, only 20 baht”.
View all comments by Pants Elk
- He wasn’t selling his arse in the window.. that’s just the label he has dangling out of his arse crack. I say ‘label’, it’s really a tampon he uses to soak up the blood and sperm.
No, if you looked through the window, you’d have seen him getting blown by the Indian guy. YP has to have his fun too.
View all comments by Daywalker
If anyone out there is interested, gimme a call
If you quote ‘Big Mango’ you get a 2% discount. Im not a fucking charity
View all comments by Young Penfold
Well, “much used” was obviously an understatement. The sphincter was of the size and appearance of a horse collar, and the buttocks resembled giant mushrooms, spotted with mold. The butt crack was clogged with a bristly growth of hair, matted with dried fecal matter, tissue remnants, and tinsel. If I’d have had the twenty baht, I’d have bought it for you, DW.
View all comments by Pants Elk
I heard that ‘Big Mango’ is the pet name you gave your ring-piece?
View all comments by Daywalker
I’m crying tears of laughter here, great read.
View all comments by Tark
Lets just concentrate on the quality of the submission, then focus on my sexual activities, then stating the obvious, that I have a crease the size of a clowns pocket shall we?
View all comments by Young Penfold
Two lady-boys are claiming YP’s lower colon as their official residence. They’ve covered the walls with pictures of Celine Dion and hang their clothes on his polyps. He’s told them not to take guests back, but I know they throw parties in there every Saturday. because BBB told me.
View all comments by Pants Elk
“The quality of the submission”? You got the Guess Club Brown Award for your submission, didn’t you? And I’m told you have a small orgasm every time you click the “submit” button here …
View all comments by Pants Elk
@BKK22 – my next submission focus’s solely on the creepy and weird comments these guys leave on the profile and photo sections.
For example I saw 1 just a few minutes ago that said “hhhmm i sex you good na?”
View all comments by Young Penfold
PE sounds jealous?
View all comments by Daywalker
@DW – bitch!
View all comments by Pants Elk
FFS boys – I’m eating my breakfast here – have some consideration
View all comments by doctorbond
Panties baby. In the Guess Bar you are held in higher order then ‘the guy with the yellow shirt and camera’
For example, on Tuesday, they all wear a BROWN polo shirt smattered with jizzolm to show there respect, and at 7pm before the shift starts they all rise for the ‘Elk Anthem’ which bares a striking resemblence to ‘I will survive’
Im yet to get confirmation back from BBB that BEFORE they watch Brokeback Mountain/TopGun in the Guess Bar cinema (the TV on the wall) they have a video montage of you, giving money to begging LBS, camply waving out the back of a green n yellow taxi, flicking your grey locks like only an LB can do and getting DP’ed in a Patpong backalley.
View all comments by Young Penfold
@ YP Crackin Read – sounds like you’re set for life. Be cafeul out there though, I had some razzled old freak add me as a friend a few days ago… christ he looked rough.
@ PE – Your avitar rules
View all comments by doctorbond
Your turn to be jealous, Penfers?
Wait a minute – your mum’s trying to tell me something – what’s that, sweetheart? It hats? What hats, sweetheart? Oh – hurts! Of course it hurts, darling!
View all comments by Pants Elk
I am no longer GROWING OLD. After reading Young Penfold’s post I believe that I have NOW actually BECOME OLD because I did not undertand one iota of what he wrote
View all comments by midland
Fuck Tagged. Waking down Soi 6 about an hour ago I just had a girl scream at the top of her lungs
Baby! I miss you so much. Everytime I think about you I get wet think about you eat my pussy!
That would have been cool had not been my mum been walking with me at the time…
View all comments by The Ghost
100 points for taking your mum to soi 6.
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
How many points for pulling YP’s mum from soi 6?
View all comments by Pants Elk
Could have been worse.. it could have been your Mum screaming “Baby! I miss you so much. Everytime I think about you I get wet think about you eat my pussy”
Welcome to YP’s world.
View all comments by Daywalker
@penfold – whoever left that comment must be friends with Borat.
It’s usually some guy named dave from nashville that could’t find Thailand on a map if it was painted onto one of nana’s finest.
View all comments by bkk22
YP’s gone a bit quiet – did someone put him back in the trophy case at the Guess Bar?
View all comments by Pants Elk
My moms dead. AIDS. I inheritted her wealth
View all comments by Young Penfold
Seriously though. I now have about 250 smoking hot ‘friends’ on tagged, however I only actively chat with about 15-20 have since met 5 of them.
Real numbers game. Some of the bitches are thick as fuck. Just send 1-2 word responses. No time for these cunts. Even as a last gasp attempt i throw some thai at them it doesnt work. Be gone.
I found the majority of uni girls are the dull thick as shit ones, and the girls that are 22ish that have entered work are the chattiest. Chatting to 3-4 different girls that work in well known hotels, 1 girl a purhcasing manager, another a insurances salesgirl, a thai air stewardess, and 1 flidamide with a clef pallet and a glass eye. All good stuff.
View all comments by Young Penfold
Just on MSN to a ladyboy I met through tagged……. she just asked if i waned to go play football with her. WTF? If shes better then me id cry
View all comments by Young Penfold
I’m just walking away from all this.
View all comments by Pants Elk
This thread is on speed and out of control……
It’s the Penfold Effect
View all comments by doctorbond
The Ballard of the Miracle Mile
Young Penfold is out of the gates
I’m not sure he has any hates
He’ll go on a bender
With any transgender
Then beer it up wiv his mates
Smitty’s next up for this verse
Bun dilemmas get him quite terse
Changing corkscrews to dreads
He escaped from the FEDs
Things can only get worse
Pmmp I know much less about
He seems to carry some clout
But he has no aversion
To rampant perversion
In that there seems little doubt
Now BadBoy, he’s quite a star
A man who’ll surely go far
Any girl that he meets
May shit on the sheets
But he’ll head on back to the bar
With Wolfie – where do you start?
He writes it straight from the heart
His phones going astray
Supplies all MBK
A bargain at 500 Baht
Day walker has got his own pad
A den for trollop and cad
Bent like a willow
He’ll get smeg on his pillow
But insists it’s just a new fad
Doc Bond is clearly insane
To return to town is his aim
He sits writing verse
In urgent need of a nurse
To stop him going absolutely Fecking mad and slaughtering the whole town of Dunstable because he is so pissed off with not being very busy, not getting much business and not Fecking being in Fecking Bangkok Fecking now!
View all comments by doctorbond
And Pants Elk is feeling terse
‘Cause you left him out of your verse
He’s off to get pissed
That’s you off the guest list
View all comments by Pants Elk
Panks Elk I have yet to meet
I’m sure he’s one I must greet
I apologise here
And get him a beer
As soon as I next hit the street
I didn’t mention BBK either… do I get an award for that?
View all comments by doctorbond
Honoured I am to get a mention,
On a post about YP’s anal retention.
Glad Pants was left in the Dark.
As his bites not as bad as his bark,
Now he’ sulking because he got no attention
View all comments by Daywalker
Bored too huh?
View all comments by doctorbond
Speaking of computers:
A McCain spokesman says:
“He’s fully capable of browsing the Internet and checking Web sites.”
…atta boy !
View all comments by jack dawson
WW,
What the fuck were you scrolling to find that picture? I think my opinion of you may be changing!
View all comments by Not in Paradise
There once was a man from south Thailand
Who scoured the nation like a madman
Some ladies he found
Were boys all around
But nothing could stop Penfold’s game plan
or
Young Penfold found tagged.com thrilling
So many fresh faces so willing
But digits you know
Are the first act of the show
The curtain call’s all about drilling
or
Penfold sometimes likes katoey
Bright makeup, fake tits are so showy
You can say what you will
Could be a Jack or a Jill
All that matters is how good’s the blowie
View all comments by Scampering Jack Wilshere
i think the water in bangkok must be laced with some mind altering drug today -turns everyone into sick ,perverted sex maniacs poets.certainly brightened up my morning thanks
View all comments by zepplin
jesus H. christ, that site is fucking crawling with lady boys…oh wait, never mind…
View all comments by ratchada
Every cloud eh ratchada?
View all comments by Young Penfold
Young Penfold – Fucking hilarious… Tagged is a GOLDMINE. Like your style.
I was justing chatting to a couple of girls on MSN, that I met on Tagged and I gave them the link to this page. They were cracking up.
I like the No sexcam, No MSN, No Email birds…. Play the English Gentlemen for a few days and they handing out phone numbers.
Spot on about the age. I find the 20-24 years olds are filth.
View all comments by Young Royal
YR – If you like this, you will love my 2nd submission.
Your right about playing it cool, some of the girls I chat to have been really stand offish at the start. Then after week or so of relaxed chat, they open up (hopefully there labia lips will shortly follow suit)
The 18year old crew are a tad giggly. No time for these cunts. I found the dirtiest types are the hotel girls. Beaver on a stick
View all comments by Young Penfold
I for one would love to see a Big Mango Slam Poetry night. with so much talent in the comments i’m sure we can fill an entire night of bongos and berets talking about the p4p scene in haiku’s or any other type of poem. Nothing to it really, just a pair of bongo’s a bass if you really want to get into it and an open mic for all the drunk mongers with some verses to spit.
Tagged is a great place. great mix of nasty old ladies and young lady’s waiting to be explored. i prefer getting my Vasco de Gama on and picking out a young inexperienced girl and slowly working her. Not into gathoeys ever since that one night in KL. i still shudder when i think about that.
View all comments by UnCochinoWetback
@ YP – just checked out your cock gang bang LB – s/he’s all yours mate
View all comments by doctorbond
UnCochinoW: Special blogger outings would be pretty interesting. Not into the poetry thing personally but maybe something like a bloggers crawl. Think you would be up for a “Young Penfold Crawl”? Will discuss with smitty and maybe put something together.
On your “one night in KL”. Would love to read that blog. C’mon, do tell.
View all comments by pmmp
I’ve seen Young Penfold crawl; from the Guess Bar back to the Mango, his jeans round his ankles and fish suds bubbling in his bumcrack. It’s okay to watch, once, but I wouldn’t want to try to beat the Bard of Bangkok at his own game.
View all comments by Pants Elk
@ UnCochinoWetback – Poetry slam night – good idea but with a fatal flaw – Poetry is a by-product of boredom. If I was in BKK right now I wouldn’t be bored and my creative juices wouldn’t flow, primarily because my glands would be concentrating on the production of quite different juices.
@ pmmmp – the YP crawl sounds like a cracking idea – please arrange one for late September.
View all comments by doctorbond
errr…not exactly what I meant, PF. but hey, to each his own.
there are a number of *my* type on that site as well–over-35s–but unfortunately profiles in that age group also contain a higher distribution of those “no sex, only nice man” comments. don’t they know that at their age, they should be trying harder, not less? oh wait, I did put “Thailand” in the “country” field too, haha…!
***********
“Every cloud eh ratchada?”
“jesus H. christ, that site is fucking crawling with lady boys…oh wait, never mind…
View all comments by ratchada
i’m totally up for a Penfold crawl as long as my insurance pays for the various medicines, ointments, rehab, and kidney dialysis.
View all comments by UnCochinoWetback
Im gonna be going back to UK next month to fleece my mother for more cash and recover from a broken heart. Might have a Crawl before i jet off. Bring your own poppers and nipple clamps
View all comments by Young Penfold
Can you use the break as an opportunity to find a new avatar and stop using that picture of me which I sincerely regret letting you take?
View all comments by Pants Elk
The hair colors about right. But your not 190Lbs of twisted steel and LB abusing sex appeal like me are you now Panties my boy
View all comments by Young Penfold
You seem a funny guy, but from the tone of your posts hardly the Milk Tray Man. What’s in it for these birds? I have images of a little guy with a bag on his head and y-fronts on approaching women on the street and online with the lyrics ‘OI, Thai fuckhole! Can I gobbe in your hair/spluff in your handbag/shuv my fingaz in and out your throat til you vurp, can I, CAN I!’
View all comments by milo
YP “They wont be wearing my anus as a bracelet anytime in the foreseeable future.”
Doesn’t this say it all and then some? I’m thinking about printing out that quote and sticking it on the wall of my office.
A funny read Young Penfold.
View all comments by Inver
Thanks for this. Never heard of tagged before but after about 1 month I have more “gigs” than days of the week.
Brilliant!
View all comments by Nok Opayop
Tagged is awesome, got plenty of phone numbers now after a month or so. watch out for the ladyboys tho!
View all comments by Kit