SJW does Bkk part 3
Posted by Scampering Jack Wilshere | Blog, Reader Submissions | Posted on June 6th, 2008
Spicy, and This is Not a Hooker
On the first night in town when I didn’t have to be anywhere the next morning I went out REALLY late. Had dinner at Vertigo in the Banyan Tree hotel, randomly met two guys who were COMPLETELY clueless about BKK, I was an old hand in comparison. They wanted to check out a couple of the places that Lonely Planet says are cool (Bed, CM, etc.) but it was already pretty late. We hit Bed, a place I’ve always found to be pretty shaky. Lots of attitude, really generic Djs playing a set that I could hear in a club in Albany. My two newbies made a game effort of it but didn’t even get a phone number, while I didn’t see anything interesting enough to roll the dice. We headed out of there a little before one and tried a couple other places in the neighborhood, with nothing all that great.
The year before I had been to Tunnel after hours twice and said we should head there. A cab driver said it was closed and we should go to Boss instead. I didn’t believe him. 3-4 cab drivers said the same thing, so eventually I settled on Spicy as we were told that only it and Boss were open. Had a few margaritas at Spicy and my guys found some girls to talk with and I started throwing out the line to see if anyone would bite. Wound up dancing with a few cute girls and finally found one who was a really good dancer and a real cutie. She was also wearing all white, which I like, and she had a booty, which I like even more. Some day I need to find a half-caste Brazilian-Thai cross, the beauty and personality of a Thai girl with apple bottom booty of a Brazilian.
At around 4.30 we headed out and I asked her if she wanted to come back to my hotel for a final drink. She did and I hailed a cab at which point she told me she had driven there in her car. I had seen very, very few Thai girls driving on my trips but I wasn’t about to complain, we piled into her Honda and zipped across town to my hotel. Woke up pretty late the next morning after going at it hammer and tongs for a few hours and realized that we had not established exactly what kind of relationship we had. Very awkward. I was hungry from the previous nights exertions and guessed she was the same, so asked if she wanted room service and–like a good Thai girl–she ordered the entire kitchen. No worries, I’m not cheap when I travel. We took a shower and again, very awkwardly, I said, ‘Anything else I can do for you?’ ‘You take me to eat tonight?’ was the reply, which sounded just fine. Thus began a delightful four day fling before I left, and one where I had to insist on picking up the tab and getting her the odd present.
Even met her sister who was a really cool girl working in the family business. The only thing I could complain about was that she wasn’t really a bed artist, a little uncomfortable and shy. After getting the glutinously skilled ball massages and bjs at Orchid and other venues it was a bit of a step down, but she was a sweetheart who for some reason liked me.
My Balls Hurt
I mentioned in response to a Penfold post that my most surprising pull of the trip was out of the bar in my hotel. I’ve stayed there all three times I’ve been to Thailand and have gotten to know the Djs and the bar staff well enough that I bring them presents when I visit. The Djs get my favorite electronic music of the past year and the girls get something else, this time some really pretty designer jewelry from a friend of a friend in NYC.
So pretty much every night before I go out carousing I drop into that bar to have at least one and catch up with my peeps. One night, early in my stay there was a nice looking white girl in the bar, smoking and having a drink alone. I said hello and we talked a bit, she turned out to be Czech, working for a German software company, and on her first international business trip.
I spent a fair bit of time in Prague in the mid-90s and writing code is one part of my job so we had plenty to talk about. It took about five minutes to realize she was DYING to get laid but also very scared of Bangkok, so I invited her along with me that night. I was going to 808 to see a US DJ so I didn’t even have to come up with any quick alternative to Rawhide. He he.
Miss Czech Republic was only in town for a few days and then off to a beach resort (I’m a vampire, so beaches are the last place on earth I enjoy) so it was only a few days with her. That said, I didn’t cut down on my Orchid trips and hit Lolita’s once in those couple days. Miss Czech Republic was also a tiger between the sheets, I got the distinct impression that she had a serious man back in Prague who had lost interest in banging her so she was making up for lost time. The coup de grace was the Saturday morning she left for the beach. Friday I had done my afternoon trip to Orchid and was with a girl who got me off three times in two hours. Her personality was, to be blunt, really annoying, but her expertise with a cock was a miracle of nature. Wednesday had been Orchid + Czech, Thursday Lolita’s + Czech, then Friday Orchid 3X Wondergirl + Last Night with Czech. Woke up Saturday and my balls hurt. Not burning or itching, like I caught something, but they were sore. Overtaxed, stressed with demands beyond their means, unhappy with their owner. I emailed some friends back in the states to say, ‘Trip is going great, save the Repetitive Stress Injuries to my testicles. I’ve got carpel tunnel of the balls.’
Thanks Muchly, Big Mangos
One of the false dichotomies of traveling to Thailand, in my opinion, is ‘Do you go for the temptresses or the temples?’ Why, I ask, can’t I go for both? Wat Traimit is one of my favorite places in the world, and that statue is one of the most beautiful pieces of art I’ve ever seen, and I have a thing for sculpture so I’ve seen a bit of it. I also really like Rawhide. I was able to hang out with my DJ buddies and their ‘nice girl’ friends and they took me to these STAGGERING restaurants and clubs, I’ve never had seafood that good before, or seen so many lovely people. It’s funny, I’m a big guy. As I said, I go to the gym so I’m not fat, but I’m 6’3″ and weigh about 190. Whenever I was in a club with all or almost all Thais I felt like a huge, hulking tractor on a road filled with Aston Martins, MG roadsters, and Triumph TR-4s. Those of you who live there are very lucky indeed.
My favorite night of the trip was the last one, the staff at my hotel bar took me out to their favorite street bbq place after they got off work. Great food, wonderful company, many beers shared and I picked up the tab for, I dunno, eight people for something like USD 70.
Want to thank all of you guys. I had lots of other fun and adventures but at 3300 words I should shut up I think. The advice, attitude, and posts in this blog helped me maximize the fun I had during the two weeks I was in BKK. Looking forward to some Som Tum and a Beer Lao at the New Mango next spring.
34 Responses to “SJW does Bkk part 3”
Leave a Reply
-
Before They Turn Jaded - by Working Tourist
Quick question - 'it doesn’t take long before tears poor down her chins' - Why are you banging fat girls?
-
Before They Turn Jaded - by Working Tourist
@Working Tourist - Listen mate that was possibly the funniest post I have read on the Mango Blog!! Obviously a 'wind-up' but so well pre...
-
Before They Turn Jaded - by Working Tourist
WT has some thick skin though. I would haven't responded as calmly as he did after getting bashed by you guys. Even though most of the yo...
-
Before They Turn Jaded - by Working Tourist
I liked this story - well written and easy to follow - I think there is a world of difference between a truly gullible first-timer and WT...
-
Before They Turn Jaded - by Working Tourist
Great story... My only thought on the matter is that anyone that wishes to "kill myself" after reading a simple story the same as I did.....
-
Before They Turn Jaded - by Working Tourist
My first thought after reading this story was 'what a buffalo!'. My second thought was 'that sounded like me 11 years ago'. Thank you f...
-
Before They Turn Jaded - by Working Tourist
@WorkingTourist: Well done, and great post. The blog needed such a post, something to break up our recent fanboy posts/comments (which I ...
-
Before They Turn Jaded - by Working Tourist
w Tourist - It is quite possible that she is a newbie to the bar girl business. If so, it may not be surprising she was sweet, affable a...
-
Before They Turn Jaded - by Working Tourist
@Mr V: Technically I had only paid her bar for the second day which was part of the reason for asking.
As for honesty; I don't doubt m...
-
Before They Turn Jaded - by Working Tourist
Oh and about honesty? Well as I live here, it is funny to see some women tell to new customer sitting next to me how they have been worki...
Recent Comments
Translator
Big high five on banging a white chick in Thailand. It worked out perfect because she fucked off during the day. Normally they want to hang out and go site seeing or some shit.A hotel lobby anywhere in the world in is probably the best place to hook up.
View all comments by yesman
y – I am sure this is the most valid comment u have every made. nice one.
View all comments by smitty
Ah, the cycles of ball collapse and ball refill, nice problem to have and no better place in the world to have it.
View all comments by bkkris
“Some day I need to find a half-caste Brazilian-Thai cross, the beauty and personality of a Thai girl with apple bottom booty of a Brazilian.” Yeah, give me such a chick any time.
Nice post SJW, who said you were were newbie? And… very good writing style. Forget all those bashers
View all comments by Phoenix
Right on SJW – Booty AND Baps for me.. in fact I suppose I could just go to Brazil, but then again they’ll have that ‘attitude’ there so I agree with you… bring on the hybrids… we could even start our own breeding programme… how about that as a business idea? PerfeckChic Inc.
View all comments by doctorbond
Good post SJW, better than DH Lawrence and Lord Byron put together.
View all comments by auk
Great post… we should get few 10yo Brazilian girls and educate them in BKK… it’s a shame Tunnel is screwing things up again…
View all comments by Johnny c
Tunnel closed. Bad news. So here we have Bangkok, a city with roughly seven Million people and the only clubs open after 2 a.m. are Spicy and Boss? What a shame.
View all comments by Phoenix
Bangkok is the world’s 22nd largest city by population with approximately 6,704,000 but due to large unregistered influxes of migrants from the North East of Thailand and many nations across Asia, the population of Greater Bangkok is estimated at nearly 15 million people. This has in turn shifted the country from being a rather homogenous Thai population to increasingly a more vibrant mix of Western, Indians and Chinese.
A ‘vibrant mix’ & two clubs to share it in! I bet Pmmp & Smitty know a few others?
View all comments by AUK
I guess people don’t want to deal with cops every night…q bar is usually open until 3am
View all comments by Johnny c
@ AUK … 15,000,001 when I’m there
View all comments by doctorbond
There are hundreds of clubs open after 2am. This is Bangkok!
There just aren’t that many clubs that farangs and bargirls like to congregate in.
If Tunnel has closed, how about Spice Club? King’s Lounge? Lucky? The clubs up on Rachada? Is Tequila Dragon dead yet? How about that place up on Suk Soi 1? The club at Petchburi and Asoke?
I’m no expert on after-hours – I’m usually in bed by then. But I’m pretty sure there are more than two late-night farang/bargirl pick-up clubs, and I’m very sure that that’s only a tiny corner of the after-hours market.
Suggesting that Bangkok only has two after-hours clubs is insane.
View all comments by TAFKABBB
Maybe you could check on the Mango Naughy Night-life website?
http://www.wickedtraveler.com/
View all comments by Day Walker
TA… thanks for the names and areas. I will do more research, before and during my next trip.
DW: I couldn’t find the link to the guide, thanks for the help
View all comments by Phoenix
SJW Rides Again
Fair play Tosh well done I enjoyed your posts (all of them)
View all comments by Spyker
Nice job SJW. ++points for the Czech chick. They really know how to get after it, too. Sometimes, having a few cocktails in your hotel bar pays BIG dividends.
View all comments by The Asian Badger
t – have to disagree with u. There may be 100s of places late night to get a drink, listen to some shit music and deal with the unwanted Thai riff raff but there really are no decent clubs. Clubs in the sense that I think people mean a place to dance, good music and a decent overall vibe. Honestly – with the closure of the tunnel the after hours club life is almost non existent. Spice, Spicy and Boss are the “best” there is – and apart from the occasional perfect storm on a weeknight – the rest of the time they are a bag of shite.
I have been all over the various areas of town and have yet to find anything that could rival the tunnel. Sometime Bar yarn tree is cool but very Thai and not club like with the table setup. Same goes for Rennovate. But the music is all shit at these places. tired hip hop songs from tired DJs. Sure at 11-1 am these places aren’t bad but they fall apart after hours.
I understand you mean the city is big and surely there are late night places to drink but that is not the same as clubbing. The simple economics of how after hours works basically render decent clubbing impossible. The tunnel has learned that lesson quite harshly. I hate it – since they do get it but are also tired of the late night exhortation tactics.
It really sucks. This is the worst part about Bangkok. Even Pattaya kills Bkk for late night options. Hell – Buriram does.
View all comments by smitty
@Smitty: Depends on definitions I suppose.
I can’t stand 99% of dance music, don’t dance, and have found the farang riff-raff capable of being just as annoying as the Thai version – think Khao San crowd
So not much difference from my point of view, but I totally understand where you’re coming from if the music’s your thing.
Just pointing out that there are always other options, but obviously they may not be to everyone’s tastes.
Seems to me the Miracle Mile is back in force these days, which personally suits me far better. Stroll down Sukhumvit and pick a girl – no music, no entry fee, no overpriced booze and no worries.
Each to their own
View all comments by TAFKABBB
sure. There are options but not real “clubbing”. I think some of the points are in this huge city – with good normal hours clubbing – it is amazing that there is nothing for after hours clubbing. One can always find a drink and a girl. Since u are not a clubber anyway – I think this is not a big deal to u. Coming from places like HK, Sing or KL – it is shocking how pathetic Bangkok is in comparison.
The Miracle mile seems to be in full force again.
View all comments by smitty
Yup, guess I missed the difference between after-hours drinking and after-hours clubbing. Since I’m not a clubber I don’t distinguish between them much, but you’re right.
All down to the economics, like you say. The boys in brown win again…
PS. +10 points for using the phrase “bag of shite”, which I didn’t realise had escaped from the grottier parts of the UK. Top stuff.
View all comments by TAFKABBB
t – boozing is 24/7. And the girls. I get that.
I learned it from DW or was it Penfold or DR Bond. I can’t remember now.
View all comments by smitty
TA, Smitty, interesting discussion. I originally meant the real “clubbing” Smitty refers to. Leaves me with a tear.
View all comments by Phoenix
The late night thing is a shame, as the ‘crew’ always end up using my crib for ‘after hours’ and empty my fridge on a daily basis.
If only I had access to a bar late at night…….
View all comments by Day Walker
The after-hours scene is definitely not what it used to be a mere 3 or 4 months ago. Anemic would be an apt description.
At present it seems that Funky Dojo in Patpong has tried to pull up the slack left behind by the hobbling of The Tunnel (which is open, just not after hours). Funky seems to be closing between 3 and 4.
Also, I’ve heard that Gazebo on Khao San is staying open until 6AM.
View all comments by The Heckler
Just back from two days in Beantown and two in San Fran. Smitty, was blown away (as I always am) by the quality of the club scene in SF. Probably the best I’ve ever seen outside of London and Berlin. A real downside of BKK for me is the low quality of DJs/bands. I’m a music freak and pretty ecumenical in my tastes, but the best I’ve heard in BKK is solid hip hop, which I really like, but it’s not exactly eye opening. As a local I hope you do better.
Glad the last one was better than the second. I’ll remember not to mention wine in the future
View all comments by Scampering Jack Wilshere
Nice post SJW! You definitely redeemed yourself.
One other after hours place that no one has mentioned: Scratch Dog in the basement of the Windsor Suites hotel on Suk Soi 20. Pretty typical after hours place – dark and dirty. And the club itself is dark and dirty too.
View all comments by JustinCider
When I’m in a city or town I don’t know that well, I normally get in a taxi and ask him where the action is. Why not try this if you want an after hours spot?
View all comments by yesman
I think heckler hits on the head. He knows the scene and right now it is shit.
SJW – san fran is pretty damn good for clubs. So was hk. All these in comparison make bkk look pathetic. There is such a focus here on getting laid that sometime the quality of other activities is neglected.
j –
http://www.durianseed.com/thailand/bangkok/bars/clubs/sukhumvit/other/scratch-dog-nightclub/
scratch is pretty lame and in my mind not for the newbies in town. It is not a great pickup joint, the door fee is off the charts now and the music is horrible. Plus more of a table setup than a club. Also not a place for a group of guys to waltz in to and pretend it is spicy. U may get your ass kicked.
yesman – what you describe is the world’s worst way to discover bkk after hours. THe taxis will take you to whatever place is paying them. They announce that over the radios in Thai so the farang don’t know the racket. This means you will end up at boss, lucky or some other shithole. Your technique would never get u to funky dojo, tunnel, renovate or some place else.
View all comments by smitty
Yesman….
Also note that even though the taxi drivers know that the clubs shut, they’ll tell you it’s open – just to get the fare.
And there was me thinking Taxi Drivers were 100% trustworthy….
View all comments by Day Walker
It was a joke.
View all comments by yesman
SJW – there are a couple of half-black, half-Thai girls in Pattaya. I saw a beautiful would-be Beyonce with a great ass on one of those little sois off the Beach Road. I know if I went back looking for her I would probably never find her though, knowing the ephemeral nature of these bargirl creatures. For an apple bottom though, you’d be much better in Brazil. Brazil is next on my list
View all comments by Milo
@ Smitty – SF is pretty sweet, better than NYC in my opinion, but I might be biased because by nature one does more clubbing away from home. I’ve also never been to HK, maybe that goes on the list of places to visit before I die.
@ Milo – Never been to Brazil but really want to go. The closest thing I have to a girlfriend these days is Brazilian and has an ass that is a miracle. She always wants me to go back to Bahia with her to meet the family, but that kind of defeats the purpose, right?
View all comments by Scampering Jack Wilshere
t – I think one never discovers their own backyard quite the way they do when they visit a city. Since in my mind trips to NYC made me think it was way better than SF for clubs – although SF is more laid back and easier to get into places.
There is a brazilian thai running around bkk
http://www.bigmangobar.com/the-weekly/2006/05/07/mango-weekly-07-may-2006/
View all comments by smitty
SJW – that would basically be a marriage proposal, but kudos on macking a brazilian. I hear Bahia is a great destination for the warmth of the people, food, and most importantly, big-assed afro-latin ladies!
View all comments by Milo