SJW does Bkk part 1
Posted by Scampering Jack Wilshere | Blog, Reader Submissions | Posted on June 1st, 2008
After taking advantage of all of your sharp expat knowledge I thought I might fill you in on how your advice did for me. The highlights at least. I was in BKK for a little under two weeks in early March, it was my third trip to the Land of Smiles but the first one in which I could spend any serious amount of time having fun. As background, I’m in my late 30′s, get to the gym fairly often, work in finance (no, not for Bear Stearns, not even for a bank) in NYC so I have more than two dimes to rub together. I’m not particularly good looking, but I pull fairly hot girls stateside because of my big mouth and, let’s be honest, the fact that I can afford to show a girl a good time. This trip was about 35% work, 65% fun. I had to meet with a few money managers working on emerging markets investing in Thailand and Singapore, but my evenings were my own and a good number of the days as well. My hotel was not especially girl friendly. It’s a very fancy 5 star place catering to business travelers, diplomats, and even some families, so while P4P is about (especially with the Japanese) it is frowned upon.
The Ball Massage
On my second day in BKK I was kicking around the Thong Lo BTS stop getting a bite to eat and realized how close I was to Orchid massage. Hopped the train to Phrom Pong and walked toward Soi 31. Also of note is that there are a number of useful places right on this part of Sukhumvit, like a decent wine shop, drug store, some nice if slightly pricey restaurants and good food carts. The Londoner ‘brew pub’ is also along this stretch and after a few trips I made a pint or two part of my Orchid ritual.
Orchid itself is the only place of note on the small side soi off of 31. As reported it’s very clean and very Japanese oriented. The mamasan (English not great but good enough) will hand you the book with pictures of all of the girls. If you want one who speaks English you can ask, though all of the girls I tried spoke enough to get by and the one girl who supposedly spoke good English a) didn’t speak it that well and b) was the least interesting of the Orchid girls I tried. Your mileage may vary. Someone here complained that the girls in the book are overly airbrushed and not that hot. There is a grain of truth in this, the pics in the book are very flattering, but hell, wouldn’t you do the same? Also, every girl I tried was at least quite cute, and once she’s got your balls all oiled up she’s the prettiest thing in the world.
Time permitting I did the two hour oil massage with ball massage, 850 baht. The service varied slightly from girl to girl but I can confirm what Big Baby Kenny says-a proper ball massage is not just a little rub and such. It’s pretty intense when done correctly. Also, all of the girls were good for full service if you wanted and stuck to the 500/1000/1500 pricing scheme without any negotiating from me. I’m paranoid about disease so I usually went for the hj or a covered bj, though I had to ask for the jimmy hat most of the time. In my experience in the Land of Smiles not a lot of girls do great bj’s, so while I’m not a Cheap Charlie if the girl wasn’t a mouth wizard and she got an encore appearance I’d usually go for the hj which was universally superb. Really, don’t knock an expert handjob, particularly after the ball massage. So, 850 baht plus an average of another 1000 inclusive of a small tip and I’m out the door having had a very decent regular massage, a wicked ball massage, and some kind of happy ending for roughly $50 at current fx rates. Hell, in NYC I tip that much to surly waitresses in nightclubs who think they should be working for the Ford agency.
After trying a few different girls eventually I settled on one. I won’t name names but she was that thing you find so often in Thailand and so rarely anywhere else, a genuinely friendly sex worker. She spoke very little English so decided to take the massage time for tutoring me in Thai. Thanks to her I expanded my Thai vocabulary from four words to maybe fifteen, and did so under delightful circumstances. She was cheerful and joking and liked to laugh at my bad Thai while rubbing me down and even sang me some Issan songs when I asked her to. It was the closest I’ve ever experienced to a ‘wholesome’ hooker. I would have had no problem paying her to hang out with me for a few days to show me around, a really delightful girl. The second time I, went with her she gave me her phone number and asked to visit me in my hotel (once the girls find out where I stay they almost all want to see me in my hotel) which I would have done happily had that not been kind of a bad idea. While not to Thai taste, she had dark skin and was fairly short, I thought she was very cute and had an attitude and massage skills that couldn’t be beaten. Long may she run, and I hope the family enjoys my money.
Anyway, Orchid rocks.
22 Responses to “SJW does Bkk part 1”
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Before They Turn Jaded - by Working Tourist
Quick question - 'it doesn’t take long before tears poor down her chins' - Why are you banging fat girls?
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Before They Turn Jaded - by Working Tourist
@Working Tourist - Listen mate that was possibly the funniest post I have read on the Mango Blog!! Obviously a 'wind-up' but so well pre...
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Before They Turn Jaded - by Working Tourist
WT has some thick skin though. I would haven't responded as calmly as he did after getting bashed by you guys. Even though most of the yo...
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Before They Turn Jaded - by Working Tourist
I liked this story - well written and easy to follow - I think there is a world of difference between a truly gullible first-timer and WT...
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Before They Turn Jaded - by Working Tourist
Great story... My only thought on the matter is that anyone that wishes to "kill myself" after reading a simple story the same as I did.....
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Before They Turn Jaded - by Working Tourist
My first thought after reading this story was 'what a buffalo!'. My second thought was 'that sounded like me 11 years ago'. Thank you f...
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Before They Turn Jaded - by Working Tourist
@WorkingTourist: Well done, and great post. The blog needed such a post, something to break up our recent fanboy posts/comments (which I ...
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Before They Turn Jaded - by Working Tourist
w Tourist - It is quite possible that she is a newbie to the bar girl business. If so, it may not be surprising she was sweet, affable a...
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Before They Turn Jaded - by Working Tourist
@Mr V: Technically I had only paid her bar for the second day which was part of the reason for asking.
As for honesty; I don't doubt m...
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Before They Turn Jaded - by Working Tourist
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Recent Comments
Translator
SJW – thanks for the writeup. glad the blog helped. I have yet to hit orchid but I want to. So what hotel is it u stayed at that you are afraid to take a pull back to? just curious.
look forward to the other parts and hope to see u in bkk sometime.
View all comments by smitty
Hes a liar. He was staying at the Nana Hotel
View all comments by Young Penfold
YP – you crack me up. My firm gets a corporate discount at the Sukhothai, S. Sathorn Road. It ain’t cheap but it also isn’t sticker.
I seriously laughed out loud when I read this.
P4P is subtly allowed at that hotel, but they don’t really like it, and I try to be a good guest when I travel overseas.
View all comments by Scampering Jack Wilshere
i beg to differ on the sukhothai. You can take who you like in there with no problems. A client of mine took 6 from rainbow 4 in there and the staff dont bat an eye lid. I have arranged 2 lady boys to meet a client in the lobby. Did anyone tell you that p4p is not allowed or you just assume?
View all comments by MSB
He doth protest too much
The Nana hotel is nice…. apparently
View all comments by Young Penfold
So Tosh. Outside of the girl policy, how did you like The Oriental?
No self-respecting money guy stays anywhere else if the company is paying for it.
Thanks for the write-up.
View all comments by The Asian Badger
Thanks for the props.
I have been meaning to write an addendum to the original post about the other venues where a ball massage is available.
Some of them are OK, but the Orchid is still the best I have found. They really do train the girls properly and a good portion of the girls are pretty cute—not Rainbow 4 hot but young and Hello Kitty Cute.
I have asked a couple of the girls how they learned proper ball massage and at the Orchid they actually have a training session where a guy is brought in.
The trainer demonstrates the proper techniques while the new girls watch and then they get some hands on practice before they are allowed to go in the Orchid picture book with the “Ball Massage Certified” moniker.
In the posts about China, there were responses from guys who wanted to go to work as male hostesses/studs in the Chinese reverse hostess clubs.
How about working as the Orchid demonstration dude instead?
I have also found that although each girl uses the same basic techniques, each has their own idiosyncratic approach which is a function of their personality.
Depending on the girl they go at it like a surgeon performing a medical procedure, a dominatrix forcing you into submission, a medical researcher dissecting a new specimen, or a giggling schoolgirl at a make out party in a some dark basement when the parents are away. etc.
If you only had a week in BKK, instead of working through the GoGos of Nana and Soi Cowboy, you could spend a week just working your away around the Orchid picture book enjoying each girls unique approach to the Ball Massage.
BigBabyKenny
View all comments by BigBabyKenny
When one has “more than two dimes to rub together”, one makes any 5 star place catering to business travelers and diplomats guest friendly.
“some nice if slightly pricey restaurants” 55555+
View all comments by BabaBobo
tosh – thanks for the post. I haven’t tried orchid yet myself. Always slightly worried that they will get something wrong and leave me unable to walk properly for a few days…
View all comments by doctorbond
When I stayed at Hotels in BKK I would always put a guest name in anyway. Just put a Thai girls Nickname like Ja. Then when you rock up with any chick they don’t say anything.
View all comments by Young Royal
Nice post. If you like Orchid, you will probably appreciate a few other places in soi 33, 24, 24/1 and 26, just to name a few.
About bringing a girl to your hotel, in my opinion you will get a bad look or a suspicious look in most hotels and even condos. Even if this is something very common in BKK, the security guys, the reception and everybody else working or living around would rather have you doing your stuff outside. Then it is up to you to care about their opinion or not.
View all comments by Suk Psycho
The Sukhothai won’t tell you that you can’t bring a girl. It is more of whether you care about what people will think if you do. I know a guy who took a 7-11 worker he met at Spicy back to the Oriental and even took her to breakfast in the morning.
To each their own.
One way to really set off the security guards at your condo is to bring a tall, white skinned Thai hottie who drops you off in her BMW right in front of the guards. They will never give you shit again.
View all comments by bkk22
Just to clarify, I didn’t say the Sukhothai wouldn’t let me bring someone back, just that it was made clear to me that it wasn’t exactly encouraged. I try very hard to be extra polite when in a country other than the one named on my passport, just a little risk averse in those situations.
View all comments by Scampering Jack Wilshere
BBK – I’d LOVE to be an Orchid ‘ball massage class dummy.’ Good gig that.
I know most guys here prefer the go go scene but I’m a MP guy. BKK has some of the coolest clubs I’ve ever seen, so at night I’d rather be chasing the best DJ in town, not the cutest girl on Cowboy. Just my preference, different strokes for others. I meant to hit Poseidon and a few of the other famous places near the Huay Kwang MRT stop but events conspired against me. Next time I guess.
View all comments by Scampering Jack Wilshere
@ The Asian Badger – to be honest, I’ve stayed at the Oriental and prefer the Sukhothai. I just like the style better, the colors and fabrics and relaxing atmosphere and the really nice ponds. Superb staff as well. It’s a place where I can ‘slow down’ from my life, and for some reason fits me better than the Oriental.
The ‘badger’ for you is Wisconsin, right? I’m born and raised near Chippewa Falls, but left there after high school. Still, I’m a badger myself and pine for a bowl of beer cheese soup and a Leinenkugel’s.
View all comments by Scampering Jack Wilshere
A condom for a blow job? What next, washing your hands with gloves on. Live a little man.
View all comments by yesman
I always thought it was terrible a ball massage does not include a HJ finish. Is there any guy who doesn’t get at least a HJ as part of this massage? These massages are fun, but condering a full service 1.5 hour soapie starts at 1500THB, these ball massages are definately not a value play.
View all comments by stud
Nice write-up tosh, especially to know some of your background.
A covered-blow job is also a no-go for me, same as for yesman. But if you otherwise get nervous about diseases, it is ok for you I guess.
About P4P in hotels: Even when I take my GTG to a hotel they usually want to see her ID and think she is a hooker, that is also her impression. So no matter what you do, You almost always will be looked at it that way. But who cares? That’s normal business in Thailand. Just send that brown Isaan-hottie home before you meet your Thai business partners for breakfast in your hotel
When I travel in Thailand I always book for two persons since I seldom spend a night alone, seems senseless to me in LOS. And the joiner fee is more than the upgrade from single to double room. So I usually also save money that way.
In China it’s even better: If you book a single room but bring a girl you don’t pay extra: You pay for the room itself (usually a single room – of course paid by my company, hehe – has still a large bed), no matter who else you bring for the night… at least in the hotels I have been to so far.
View all comments by Phoenix
@Tosh….Badger all the way. From the MKE Burbs. Spent my 30s in Singapore and SE Asia as a banker and then decided to go fly jets.
Moving back to Asia this summer.
View all comments by The Asian Badger
Yes, I know guys, I’m a pansy and really worried about catching something. What can I say? I could lie I guess.
@ Badger – On Wisconsin!
View all comments by Scampering Jack Wilshere
*laugh* small world – i’m in stevens point!
View all comments by myrth
“I just like the style better, the colors and fabrics and relaxing atmosphere and the really nice ponds.”
Ya see, Tosh is laughing more than we are. He’s aving a right go.
View all comments by AUK