Dicing With Death

Posted by Bangkok Bad Boy | Blog, Reader Submissions | Posted on January 6th, 2007

Flicking through the archives of Bangkok Eyes, I came across an article I’d missed on previous visits – the June 2005 issue opened with a piece on Bangkok’s “Bareback Riders”. The guys who insist on not using condoms.

The constantly revolving doors of Bangkok’s “clap clinics” are surely testament enough to the idiocy of this approach, and I know several guys who’ve had girls pull a “pregnancy scare” on them – usually as a pretext to demanding cash, supposedly either for childcare or an abortion. None of the girls have actually been pregnant, of course. Just another bargirl scam.

Objectively, it’s a simple enough issue. Using a condom means you’re far less likely to get chlamydia, gonorrhoea, syphilis, herpes, HPV, and of course the big one – HIV, amongst other delights. You’ll also avoid hearing the patter of tiny feet any time soon.

So who are these guys? Disturbingly, they seem to be you and I. I’ve spoken to a lot of people about this issue, and the vast majority of guys admit to having either forgotten to don the party-balloon when drunk, abandoned their use once they’ve been going steady with a “good girl” for a while (who may still have a Thai boyfriend on the side, don’t kid yourself), or have simply had occasions where they plain don’t care. I can’t even claim 100% responsibility myself.

But the odd farang forgetting to don his trusty rubber companion wouldn’t make much of a difference if it weren’t for the attitude of the girls. Bangkok Eyes’ source material reveals a staggering 92% of one punter’s conquests were willing to make the beast with two backs, entirely unprotected. It’s generally accepted that we farangs are more likely to agree to condom use than Thai men, so what percentage of the girls are spreading it around with their unsheathed Thai lovers? Even more than 92%?

Sure, maybe it feels better without. And the majority of infections are now easily curable – HPV, herpes and HIV aside (although on the HIV front, could a certain pack of leading virologists and Nobel laureates be right?). Either way, it seems that the vast majority of us are at least occasionally dicing with death. Or is it just my insane peer group? Would be interested to hear readers’ own stories on this one.

13 comments

13 Responses to “Dicing With Death”

Pants Elk says:

January 7, 2007 at 3:52 am

Good subject.
I’ve trotted out the Skin Horse with a BG during the course of one intensive week, staying at her apartment. Total fucking lunacy. I don’t know why, but there’s something about the air out there that makes you go fucking crazy. I took her word that she’d always made her johns inflate the flesh balloon, and she’d had a recent check-up, and etc etc.
Yes, the sex was the most intense I’ve ever had (almost), but the weeks of stomach-knotting anguish on my return, waiting for the clinical greenlight, made all that orgiastic excess seem like just what it was – a big fucking mistake.
It wasn’t like I hadn’t had good advice from everyone either – it’s pretty simple – WRAP THE ROOT – so I have nobody to blame but myself, and I’m normally a pretty sensible guy.
Like I said, there’s something in the air there – fuck now, because the end is nigh.
You’re certainly bringing the end statistically closer by listening to that siren song.
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Jim Anchower says:

January 7, 2007 at 7:19 am

Maybe it’s cause I think I was really meant to be a road rally driver in this life, but sometimes I ‘drive’ fast and foolishly. Clap clinic… ha!!! The nurses at the local hospital still had enough humour in them to laugh when i would come in for my ‘shots’. And yeah, it almost read like it was my biography…drunken foolishness to blame for doing the street meat unsheathed and simple naiveity for thinking that this girl I was dating really was telling the truth and that ‘he’ was just her gay friend. Bitch.

Anyways, got tested since I’ve been on holiday here in the States with nothing to mar the vacation. New Year’s Resolution 2007 here i come!!!!
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Ian says:

January 8, 2007 at 12:25 am

Hi
I’ve enjoyed reading your articles, and thought it was about time I posted. Its also very important to air this issue.

I first went to Phuket Thialand in 2003. If you are a man and single it really is the premier option. It doesn’t matter how old /infirm/handicapped/unattractive you are. You will be laid every single night, well any old time you want really.

First night out to Bangla Road I had a lady friend. I’m no sex maniac. I did not want several conquests. She was great fun, and I remained with her for the duration of my holiday. Afterwards we e-mailed for quite a while till it petered out.

To get to the issue. Every single time we did the wild thing I wore a condom – every time. On one occasion, as I was dismounting I noticed that the condom was not in place. We had fun trying to get the thing out. We showered , slept and thought about for a few days, but managed to convince myself that “it was alright” . It wasn’t.

About 3-4 weeks later I was long since home.

We’d shed the tears, hugged and said goodbye and done the promises to e-mail.

I started getting an itch about 1/2 after my glans. At first I thought its nothing. It became more persistent. There were no nasty obvious signs like a discharge.

Eventually I had to do some thing about it so went to my local genito-urinary dept at the hospital.

We talked and I got asked all sorts of questions. Sure, it’s embarrasing.

Another appointment. This time I was not to urinate that day till I got there. They wanted the first 20 milliliters of urine. They took some blood. The nurse a guy, examined my todger. Them warned me that he was going to insert a cotton bud into my urethral exit. It is quite a shock I’ll tell you, but it needs to be done. I wouldn’t say it was painful really.

I was to ring about one week later. I did, and was told that I had Chlamydia. In a way I was extremely relieved. By then of course, I had had AIDS on my mind for quite a while.

I was given the pills and the germs which cause the problem are killed. The itching remains for some weeks, then stops. Everything was then fine.

The point, I am making is tha condom use can spare you an STD- sexually trensmitted disease. I had done so, but had simply been unlucky enough for the thing to works its way off. For heavens sake use them- they could save your life. You might want to try an elastic band too, to make sure it stays where you put it.

At the time of writing about one person in a thousand has aids in the Uk. Figures for Thailand are about 30/40 per thousand. Thats what I have read anyway. And the figure among sex workers exclusively is probably terrifying. And yes, these are the only Thai women you will be able to score with instantlyat a bar, don’t make any mistake about that.

If you hate using condoms be inventive. There is great non penetrative sex to be had. Seek out masseure who will give you a testicle massage, or what a buddy has called “the oily hand job” . It sounds great and there is no exchange of bodily fluids. I’ll try some of this myself on my next visit.

Enjoy and be safe out there.

Ian
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Bangkok Bad Boy says:

January 8, 2007 at 12:38 am

Hi Ian, thanks for writing.

Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t dream of suggesting that condoms should be thought of as optional – I’m just interested in whether the “do as I say, not as I do” attitude is as widespread as I suspect. ie. we all know it’s stupid not to use them, but we all at least occasionally break the golden rule.

Regarding only scoring instantly with sex workers, think again. In a bar, maybe. Depends what kind of bar. There is a misogynistic, deeply offensive, hurtful (but arguably entirely true) catchphrase popular among my own peer group, and it is that “they’re all whores”.

Whether you meet her in a bar, in the office, on an internet dating site, on the BTS, in Tesco’s, on a bus or even in the clap clinic (romance is everywhere), instant or semi-instant (ie. you might have to buy her lunch first) gratification can frequently be had. And “taxi money” will usually be gratefully appreciated in the morning – whatever her supposed “career”…
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Mike Phillips says:

January 8, 2007 at 4:49 am

On my first trip to Thailand at the end of 2005 I went to a bar which specialised only in short time activities and requested a two girl BJ. When we got to the short time room I reminded one of the girls that I wanted it unprotected and she assured me that this would be the case. I said this because I had heard of stories of guys being asked for extra money to do a BJ unprotected when they had already assumed that this would be the case before they went to the room.

While I laid back on the bed the first girl performed the service whilst the second girl did little more than just watch. The second girl was very attactive so after a while I said to the second girl “can you suck now?”. The second girl looked at the first girl and the first girl nodded her head. At that point the second girl got up, composed herself, straddled me and started to put me into her without a condom.

I was completely taken by suprise and said “no, no” in a shocked voice. The girl, who was perhaps 18/19 and very pretty, looked startled and a little bit irritated as if she could not understand why I had said I wanted sex and now had changed my mind. I could only think that because she spoke very little English that she had mistaken the work suck for the one beginning with F.

The thing was although I was not prepared to go through with it, I found the thought that I could walk into a bar off the street, have a drink and a few minutes later be having full unprotected sex with a young attractive girl very thrilling . So much so that although I by no means suffer from premature ejaculation the thought excited me so much it only took maybe another 30 seconds later for the first girl to bring me off by hand. If I had not changed my mind then this would have been inside the second girl.

Since then I have spoken with many guys who have related tales of girls in Thailand who have half heartedly asked them whether they had a condom and said OK when they insisted that they didn’t; or who have produced a condom for the first time that they did it but later on that same night did not insist on them wearing one when they wanted to do it again or even cases where the use of a condom was not mentioned at all by either party from start to finish.

They have found the opportunities for unprotected sex with sex workers in their home country almost non-existent but found that there is ample opportunity in Thailand.
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Ian says:

January 8, 2007 at 9:52 pm

Hi BBB
I always use a condom while holidaying in the LOS. Sure I would rather not as they decrease sensitivity. But I could never be inebriated enough to forget to use one. Nor would I want to get interested in a lass who did not insist on their use. This policy is my attempt to remain disease free. Don’t forget Herpes and AIDS are forever

Another technique is to not “butterfly” for those who do not know, a butterfly is a man who moves from woman to woman as casually as a butterfly moves from flower to flower. It is what you are likely to be called if they see you engaging this behaviour.

Another useful technique is to not go for the lookers. Lookers get the most action clearly. This means of course that they get more customers and hence are probably more likely to have an STD.

You need a condom for any penetrative sex. Don’t imagine that oral or anal are exceptions. They are not.

I could not agree with your peer group friends. I do not believe that all women Thai or otherwise are whores. I have read- at Stickmans site, thats its no easy task getting in a Thai ladys knickers. He is talking of course, of regular Thai women, and not sex workers. I would imagine really that Thai women are no different to other national groups.

Of course, from a womans point of view, in mate selection, most would prefer a solvent mate. It is understandable then that a western man is desireable to a Thai lady, who probably has nowhere near the income of a westerner.

I think perhaps the willingness of a Thai women to have a western boyfriend has lead to this misinformed, bigoted and hurtful view of some men.

I have found Thai women to be loyal, friendly and excellent mate material. In fact if I ever did marry it would probably be to a Thai woman.
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Bangkok Bad Boy says:

January 9, 2007 at 1:58 am

Ian – if your only experience of regular Thai women is through reading the accounts on Stickman’s site then it’s no wonder you’re misinformed.

I disagree with you on the “butterfly” front – in my experience, if you’re up-front with a girl from the start, she’ll respect that, and make the appropriate allowances.

Regarding condoms though, of course you’re right. We all know the dangers – my point is that a worrying number of us ignore them all too often…
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Ian says:

January 10, 2007 at 12:27 am

Hi BBB
Well I might be misinformed. I must admit that my only interaction with Thai women has been with bar-girls (sex-workers).

Apart from waitresses, street vendors.nick nack sellers and staff in the TAT offices, I have not met any regular Thai women. All whores, surely not.
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ShaneG says:

January 13, 2007 at 11:58 am

Hmmmmmm, completely understand what most are saying. I do wonder how good/effective the clinics are with the “Pre-Sex” tests? Most girls will do this, if you ask……..go to the clinic and get tested before you engage in a ceiling fan hanging new sex move you want to try out. Wondering what everyone’s opinion was on this………….I understand that HIV can not be detected in one day……..but all of the other little buggers can be caught.
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Bangkok Bad Boy says:

January 14, 2007 at 10:26 pm

ShaneG – never even heard of those. Sounds kind of pointless if they can’t detect HIV, surely? I think taking a girl to the clinic en route to the bedroom might kill the romance somewhat though…
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Simon says:

January 16, 2007 at 11:16 am

On two occasions, I’ve gone short time with a girl with not very much English. I like a bit of foreplay before getting on with the main feature, whereas the girls are usualy keen to get to the next customer, so they are often offering the condom before I’m ready.

In these two cases, my plea for the raincoat to go on later was misunderstood as a simple refusal – and both girls had actually climbed on bare-back before i knew what was happening. Frightening.
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Stevie G says:

August 13, 2007 at 4:08 pm

its a complete lottery…… i know a guy whos 52 and lived here for 10 years – he estimates in his time he has slept with 600+ bar girls and go-go girls and has not ONCE worn a condom and he has not had a single dose……
i nailed a street hooker with plastic tits and the condom broke – being drunk and near point of cumming i thought 'fuck it' and carried on…..
2 days later i got burning when i pissed and the green dribbles – that was the only time i went unprotected and i got caught, so be careful
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Edward says:

May 27, 2011 at 1:36 pm

No ifs, ands, or buts..,where a condom at all times..,no one likes to be “Damaged Goods”..,just trust ME in this matter!!!!!!
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